Breathing Causes Global Warming

Funny story written by cadders

Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Breathing Causes Global Warming
A Scientist Earlier this Morning

In a shock announcement tonight scientists from the University of Pointless Studies (Cambridge) have managed to dispel the rumor that the major cause of CO2 in our atmosphere is due to cars, air travel or even cows

It's us!

By breathing in and out it is possible for the human body to expel 50% more carbon dioxide and greenhouse gasses than it takes in said a scientist early this morning after a couple of pints.

This shocking finding has of course been published in Nature magazine, has been printed in the Times and has also been reported on Fox News so of course, just like a flat earth and wriggly things in water don't hurt - it must be true.

"We always hear this rubbish and breathing out is good for you" said a planet killing, baby eating monster from an oil eating company today

"We agree" said a godly, innocent spokesperson from the environmental lobby. "Breathing in takes in oxygen, pollution and is good for you - breathing out is a planet killer. We aaacchh, aggh uggh"

We're not entirely sure where this last quotation came from. The interviewee did collapse and insist they were a pink fluffy jelly baby some minutes after.....

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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