CROOKEDWOOD, Ireland - George Michael had just finished performing at a sold-out concert at Crookedwood's Irish Spring Soap Stadium when he was asked to comment on what Sir Elton John had said about him.
Michael replied that he had not heard what Sir Elton had said.
When told that John had stated that he did not like the fact that George Michael feels that he has to always be out searching for partners for one night dalliances.
Michael replied that just who does Lady Elton think she is. He took a puff from his Virginia Slims Cigarette and said that Lady Elton needs to shut 'her' queen mouth.
The 46-year-old London singer stated that Lady El was just upset because Russell Brand had said that he looks like a cross between Amy Winehouse and Joan Rivers but with industrial crows feet.
He then said that Lady Elton is also mad because she no longer looks semi-pretty at 89, as she did when she was in her 30s.
Michael took his cell phone out and dialed John's private number and it rang eight times before going to voice mail. When John's voice answered Michael just hung up.
He also revealed that he knows a good friend who works in the VISA credit card department in Pimlico and he told him that the company called up Elton John last week and asked him to either surrender his card in person or else take a pair of scissors and cut the card in half.
When asked why, Michael's good friend replied because just in the past year alone, Sir Elton has charged purchases totaling £327,481 [$539,453.79 U.S.] and has only made payments totaling £800 [$1,319.46 U.S.].
In other news. Britney Spears has just released her very first book just in time for Christmas. It is entitled, "How To Lip Sync Exactly Like Britney Spears."