'Gone With The Windbag' starring Clark Obama and Vivienne Hitlereigh premieres

Funny story: 'Gone With The Windbag' starring Clark Obama and Vivienne Hitlereigh premieres

Today the new blockbusting American movie to end all movies opened, 'Gone With The Windbag', and this reviewer managed to steal a ticket to avoid paying to see it. The film is set in the American Civil War, and stars Clark Obama as Rhett Waffler and Vivienne Hitlereigh as Scarlette O'Harridan, and things start as Waffler decides to become an alternative President of America, leading the Deep So...

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Britney Spears Says "The Circus Is Over" Dyes Her Blonde Hair Black

Funny story: Britney Spears Says "The Circus Is Over" Dyes Her Blonde Hair Black

HOLLYWOOD - The pop music icon Britney Spears has stated that now that her "Circus Tour" is over she has decided to leave her blonde locks and her somewhat checkered past behind her. Spears told her hairstylist, Pauly of Pomona, that she wanted hi...

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Seventy-two virgins disappointed in Underwear Bomber

Funny story: Seventy-two virgins disappointed in Underwear Bomber

Sources deep inside Muslim headquarters report that 72 virgins are 'very disappointed' in the performance of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day.

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Toiliet Paper Company Sued For Bogus Instructions On Package

Funny story: Toiliet Paper Company Sued For Bogus Instructions On Package

The leading manufacturer of toilet paper (a.k.k. toilet tissue, butt wipe, or bumm fodder) in the United States, is being sued by a consumer for "pain and suffering" after following directions printed on the package. Irma Peepers of Tripoly, Wis...

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Roman Polanski Completing Latest Movie, "Penis Breath", While Under House Arrest

Funny story: Roman Polanski Completing Latest Movie, "Penis Breath", While Under House Arrest

A French newspaper is reporting that a friend of Roman Polanski says the director is finishing the edit of his latest movie about a guy sent to prison for an old offense, while he is under house arrest. French philosopher Barnyard-Henri Pevi has a...

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President Obama Agrees: Terrorists To Get New Names!

Funny story: President Obama Agrees: Terrorists To Get New Names!

One thing all newspeople from print to CNN are agreed upon is that the names of terrorists are getting ridiculous and they have demanded shorter names or nicknames from the CIA and FBI. Yesterday it was reported on several Tv stations with a diffe...

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Susan Boyle In Japan Sumo Wrestler Incident

Funny story: Susan Boyle In Japan Sumo Wrestler Incident

Singer Susan Boyle's trip to Tokyo, Japan got off to a rocky start yesterday when the Scottish Songbird had to be rushed to a hospital from lack of oxygen. Susan, who hates elevators, had no choice when her room was on the 14th floor of the Tokyo...

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Indian men need undersized condoms, accepted international sizes are MUCH TOO LARGE!

Funny story: Indian men need undersized condoms, accepted international sizes are MUCH TOO LARGE!

It is now official, Indian men are SMALL, and their penises too. A survey taken by the world's Nr 1 condom producer, Durex, has confirmed this fact. Also revealed were the following facts about sizes of global penis's: 1) The fallacy that bl...

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Somali pirates abduct Underwear Bomber in daring Las Vegas casino raid

Funny story: Somali pirates abduct Underwear Bomber in daring Las Vegas casino raid

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, has been abducted from a Las Vegas casino. 'We thought that a Las Vegas casino was the most secure location...

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Balls Shrink in Winter

Funny story: Balls Shrink in Winter

Mrs. Halfpenny utilised her husband Harold while unveiling her latest scientific discovery. The 56 year old amateur scientific boffin pointed out to the local paper the differences between her husbands balls in winter compared to when he was runni...

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The Real Reason That NASCAR Failed In Japan

Funny story: The Real Reason That NASCAR Failed In Japan

OSAKA, Japan - Well it is official, NASCAR will be leaving Japan before it even had its first race. A spokesperson for NASCAR Japan Takisiku Magoyama stated that the Japanese people were extremely excited about being able to see American cars trav...

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Brad Pitt becomes TSA Airport Inspector; Women line up for cavity searches

Funny story: Brad Pitt becomes TSA Airport Inspector; Women line up for cavity searches

WASHINGTON, D.C. (ABSNN) -- Actor Brad Pitt shocked the entertainment world Tuesday when he announced he was retiring from films in order to become a Transportation Safety Administration airport guard. "In times such as these, it is incumbent upon...

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Obama Peace Prize Puzzle Solved

Funny story: Obama Peace Prize Puzzle Solved

I was right all along. Our President's surprising receipt of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize WAS a conpsiracy. And I am the first to be able to publish all the details. Read on... 1) Norway and Denmark are both part of Scandinavia, also know as 'the Nordic Countries.' Obama rhymes with Scandinavia, and Barack rhymes with Nordic. Sort of. Hey, it's my conspiracy theory! 2) Vikings were Norse (Scan...

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Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J.'s True Confessions

Funny story: Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J.'s True Confessions

Happy is the man who gets laid As many of you know, I have suffered from a bad heart for sometime now. Many other problems have had me down as well. Doctors were able to fix what ailed my heart with stints, but I suffered bouts of high axiety brought about by sexual abstinence (something my physical body is unused to). Some doctors think that my hypersexuality stems from the 893 acid trips...

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Brooke Mueller Sheen files for divorce

Funny story: Brooke Mueller Sheen files for divorce

Aspen, Colorado - (Prenup Mess): Charlie Sheen's wife has hired LA celeb divorce lawyer Sorrell Trope after a nasty 'knife business' on Christmas Day. Brooke Mueller Sheen told friends today she was a bit aggrieved at being told by Trope's office...

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Kim Jong Il Wants Lindsay Lohan To Be North Korea's First Lady

Funny story: Kim Jong Il Wants Lindsay Lohan To Be North Korea's First Lady

PYONGYANG, North Korea - The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Il has made it known to members of his cabinet that his New Year's resolution will be to make the American actress Lindsay Lohan his bride, and the First Lady of North Korea. In North Ko...

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DNA Confirms Explosive Anal Suppository Had Traces of Shiite!

Funny story: DNA Confirms Explosive Anal Suppository Had Traces of Shiite!

Reports leaking out of the UK's leading scientific laboratory seem to confirm what everyone in the free world with a shred of common sense has known for years: the confiscated explosive suppository extracted from a burqa clad passenger contained po...

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Alleged Underwear Bomber: 'it was a mix-up in the laundry'

Funny story: Alleged Underwear Bomber: 'it was a mix-up in the laundry'

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, says it's all a bad mistake. 'It was a mix-up in the laundry', Abdulmutallab said during a press briefing.

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Fan Fiction Found To Be Better, More Popular Than Original Book

Funny story: Fan Fiction Found To Be Better, More Popular Than Original Book

Lubbock, Texas- Sci-fi/fantasy writer Melvin Zetterhorn has found himself under attack from some of his fans. Zetterhorn, a mediocre writer who nonetheless has a sizable following, has discovered his fans have been writing fan fiction based on his wo...

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Major Oil Company Vetoes Vintage Ad Campaign Reprising "Put A Tiger In Your Tank!"

Funny story: Major Oil Company Vetoes Vintage Ad Campaign Reprising "Put A Tiger In Your Tank!"

A spokesman for a major energy producing Titan, speaking off the record, said that recent events in the Sporting World, have forced them to reconsider their idea to bring back a highly popular ad campaign with the slogan "Put a Tiger In Your Tank!"...

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Santa Claus is Bankrupt

Funny story: Santa Claus is Bankrupt

For hundreds of years Santa Claus has delivered toys free to all the children of the world but now Santa may have to hang up his sack because he now has debts as high as Americas national debt of over thirteen trillion dollars. Santa now back in t...

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Michael Jackson's "Bubbles The Chimp" Learns Sign Language, Spills his Guts

Funny story: Michael Jackson's "Bubbles The Chimp" Learns Sign Language, Spills his Guts

"Bubbles', constant companion of the late Michael Jackson and often traveling with him on his tours, has mastered sign language and he is telling some strange stories, especially after being brought back to Neverland. "Room after room, Bubbles wou...

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Obama Validates Nobel Peace Award: Turns Over Missile Defense Plans to Putin As Show of Good Faith!

Funny story: Obama Validates Nobel Peace Award: Turns Over Missile Defense Plans to Putin As Show of Good Faith!

According to Moscow correspondent Earl "Pulitzer" Gray, the cafes and vodka martini bars are alive with the rumour that Vladimir Putin has pulled off the coup of the century by sweet talking America's "Innocent Abroad", Barry Obama, into giving up th...

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O'Bama Says Security Agencies Inadequate to Task

Funny story: O'Bama Says Security Agencies Inadequate to Task

Prez O'Bama stated today that the current raft of Federal Agencies are clearly inadequate to the task of preventing terrorism. The statement came on the heels of several airline terrorism attempts by individuals who should not even have been allowed...

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Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Funny story: Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Scientists at the Kodos Institute in Argentina, South America, have discovered a genetic mechanism for patronisation. Genes are curled up little things inside your cells, which tell your body how to make itself. You get them from your mother and...

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PM Brown pushes for inclusion in England eleven

Funny story: PM Brown pushes for inclusion in England eleven

London, England. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has personally asked English cricket selectors to include him in the next eleven selected for the Second Test in Cape Town South Africa. He says he can solve the middle order batting problem that has b...

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E.E.. E... those were the days !!!

Funny story: E.E.. E... those were the days !!!

"When I were a lad, growing up in Yorkshire, our mum would send me down to t'corner store wi' a shilling, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three quarts o' milk, some offal for t'ferret, a tin of mushy peas, a rabbit for t'whippet, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' bacon, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Ya can't do that now. Too many bloody security cameras!"...

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Shit From Plane Hit Man On Head

Funny story: Shit From Plane Hit Man On Head

A man in the West Midlands town of Dudley is recovering at home today after he was struck on the head by a shit shat from a Jumbo Jet that was on its way to Birmingham International Airport. The man, whose name cannot be released because it's thou...

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Supreme Court in the year 9010

Funny story: Supreme Court in the year 9010

September 22, 9010 - The Supreme Court is to go through substantial changes in these coming weeks after Congress voted on updating the judiciary system. Congress has determined that the selection of justices by a higher authority is equated to dic...

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X-Factor's Joe McElderry Reveals Three Intimate Secrets About Cheryl Cole

Funny story: X-Factor's Joe McElderry Reveals Three Intimate Secrets About Cheryl Cole

LONDON - The winner of this year's X-Factor, Joe McElderry has revealed three intimate secrets about X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole. Cheryl Cole was young McElderry's mentor on the show and she seemed to take more than just a passing interest in the 1...

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The Who Will Not Be Allowed To Perform At Super Bowl XLIV (44)

Funny story: The Who Will Not Be Allowed To Perform At Super Bowl XLIV (44)

MIAMI - The Who are currently scheduled to perform at the 2010 Super Bowl in Miami Dolphin Stadium but it now appears that it may not happen. A spokesperson for a group calling itself The International We R Watching U Fella has uncovered the fact...

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Dallas Cheerleader Admits To Having Sex With Boyfriend

Funny story: Dallas Cheerleader Admits To Having Sex With Boyfriend

Controversy again surrounded the NFC East champions today when news broke of a new scandal concerning one of its cheerleaders, Lucy Fark, who has admitted having 'sexual relations' with her boyfriend. Fark, 15, has admitted to friends that she enj...

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Manny Pacquiao To Fight Australian Champion

Funny story: Manny Pacquiao To Fight Australian Champion

Manny Pacquiao, the WBO world lightweight champion boxer, whose welterweight bout against rival Floyd Mayweather Jnr on March 13 was cancelled because of a row over blood testing, will now fight the Australian welterweight champion instead. The fi...

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Scottish Special Services To Afghanistan

Funny story: Scottish Special Services To Afghanistan

President Obama has complimented Great Britain for providing Scottish Special Forces to assist with prisoner interrogation at high security Gitmo prison camp in Cuba. The crack Scottish Troops were called upon to provide a replacement for waterbo...

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