Tiger Woods and Chelsea Clinton? Monica Lewinsky offered $10 million for story
Washington AC/DC - (Trailer Trash): Did a Monica Lewinsky blowjob gag George Tenet's 'Tiger Woods/under age Chelsea Clinton back-of-the-presidential-limo shag' CIA probe? "That's not all that's gagged," latest Tiger Woods squeeze and Capitol Hill...Read full story
MTV's Tila Tequila and Baby Powder Heiress Miss Casey Johnson to Marry
HOLLYWOOD - MTV reality show celebrity Tila Tequila has proudly announced that she has become engaged to the baby powder heiress Casey Johnson. The 28-year-old singer, model, and full-time party girl, Tila said that she has never been happier. Ev...Read full story
Lesbianism - The Solution to Global Over-Population
(Defecated News) Over the last century, the population of the planet has risen from 1.6 billion to a staggering 6.7 billion. Birth control drives are not working, and resources are thinning. The only outcome looks like starvation, poverty, malnutriti...Read full story
Tiger Woods drops golf, launches porn career
Tiger Woods, whose unparalleled golf career has made him the first to top $1 billion in championship earnings, is dropping golf as a career -- and launching a new career in the porn industry. In addition to career winnings, Woods' prowess on the...Read full story
Two Female Teachers Caught In A Private "Show & Tell"
Two High School teachers Alexis Bruchontay and Carla Maracas were caught by the school janitor engaged in a nude version of "Show & Tell." Geronimo Escobar said that he went into the room to empty the trash can when he saw Mrs. Bruchontay, 29,...Read full story
Revealed: Michael Jackson Moonwalking Faked
Careful examination and analysis of still photos and videos of Michael Jackson 'moonwalking' show they have been faked. Jackson, who died on June 25, 2009 at the age of 51, was an American musician, dancer, and entertainer. His claim to fame, as a...Read full story
George Hamilton Says He Wants To Date All Of Tiger's Girlfriends
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Nestled high in the Hollywood Hills, in his Spanish style hacienda mansion, named Casa Grandotota, actor George Hamilton remarked to his long time gardener Gaspar that he wants to date every one of Tiger Woods gorgeous 'Golf Gals.'...Read full story
Gore Astounds Copenhagen
FLASH - Al Gore, the subject of the Oscar-winning "An Inconvenient Truth" and Nobel Peace Prize winner for his advocacy of averting climate change, stunned over 16,000 attendees at the UN gathering on climate-change here in Copenhagen today.Read full story
Union of Altarboys defend priests' rights to abuse altar boys
The recent findings of a report into abuses perpetrated by Catholic ministers, was roundly criticised by the Catholic Union of Altarboys last night. The "Report of the Commission of Investigation into the Catholic Archdiocese of Dublin", found that i...Read full story
Cartographer determines why chicken crossed road
Many have pondered the question, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' The answer offered most frequently is, 'To get to the other side'. However, it is widely recognized that this answer is incomplete, if not redundant. The answer merely states the...Read full story
Porn Princess Joslyn James Says Tiger Nicknamed Her Hoo-Ha, "Tiggy"
LOS ANGELES - Porn star and gold card member of Tiger Woods infamous "Scorecard," was in L.A. for an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen introduced her and when Joslyn came out she greeted Ellen with a big tongue-in-the-mouth kiss that a...Read full story
Study: Erections Cause Stupidity In Office Workers
A new study coming out tomorrow in the New York Constitution will show that male office workers have a hard time with erections. "Our study shows that a newly hired sexy lady placed only one full day in an office causes male productivity to go dow...Read full story
Mansion housing Gay Rights Groups paint 60 ft penis on the roof hoping that Gay aliens spot it!
A mansion somewhere between Hampstead Heath and Gay Meadow, Shrewsbury, home of several "Gay Rights" groups including the most radical group called "WE ARE NORMAL" have painted a massive phallus (for those of you who come from where I come from, the...Read full story
Nude Tiger Pics: Playgirl Taking Close Look!
It looks like the rumors of a naked Tiger Woods in photos that will probably be purchased by Playgirl Magazine may be genuine. One spokesman for the magazine, Denny Larmarco, has apparently confirmed that the online magazine has received photos cl...Read full story
Tiger Takes To The Woods
Where is Tiger Woods many are asking! No one has apparently seen him for the last 48 hours and he's even managed to give the paparazzi the slip. "I haven't seen Tiger since all this began happening", stated Maria Monica Rossi of Las Vegas, who ha...Read full story
England want to avoid everybody at the World Cup, they demand a free BYE to the final!
England have protested to the FIFA about everything and every other participating team in the World Cup 2010 and have demanded a free BYE to the Final! This extraordinary request is based upon the following facts: A) The home nation are African and have no right to be there? B) France are a bunch of cheats, lyers and Poofs and have Platini backing them. C) Spain are too good and should...Read full story
Borneo Gibbons have their own "Dating Website" desperate single humans are also invited!
A French biologist studying "funky Gibbon" behaviour has decided to set up a "Dating Website" for his subjects. Scientific facts have proven that when male or female Gibbons are removed from their families and taken into captivity, their left-behi...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan Twitters Jessica Alba's Husband About Her Tw*t
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The much misunderstood, misguided, and flaky as hell Lindsay Lohan reportedly sent a Twitter photo of her (blank) to Cash Warren, Jessica Alba's husband. Lohan denied it saying that Cashy is married and she would never mess aroun...Read full story
Meredith Baxter: 'Tiger made me straight again'
Former sitcom TV mom Meredith Baxter, star of the 1980s show 'Family Ties', has announced that she has returned to being a heterosexual. Exactly one week ago, Baxter announced on The Today Show that she had been a lesbian for the last four years.Read full story
Beyonce: What's The Matter Tiger, Black Girls Not Good Enough For Ya?
CHICAGO - Beyonce made an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show and after singing her hit song Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) sat down to chat with the Queen of The United States. Talk got around to the continuing Tiger Woods "Golf Gate" saga and...Read full story
President George Bush Says Tiger Woods Needs To Turn Himself In
DALLAS - Former President George Bush has finally chimed in on the Tiger Woods "Golf Gate" mess. Speaking from the front porch of his double-wide trailer in Dallas, Bush said that Tiger Woods needs to do the right thing and turn himself in. An...Read full story
U.S. Public Healthcare Option DOA
Washington - Political junkies and talk show pundits of all stripes have been on U.S. President Barack Obama's case of late. The latest topic to rankle the already irate is the President's stance on the healthcare issue in America. Long an advocate o...Read full story
IPCC Global Warming Climate Data Verified
In response to leaked emails (Nov. 2009, so-called "Climategate") that tended to discredit the work of many IPCC scientists it was announced today that the entire climate data set has been reviewed by an independent organization and the data has been...Read full story
Elin In Sweden, Twin Sister, Josefin, At Florida Home
With all the confusion with the emergency vehicles yesterday and the fact that it was Tiger Woods mother-in-law who left in the first emergency, some of it has been sorted out at least. Apparently, Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren and his two children...Read full story
New Words Added To Dictionary in 2009
Each year, several new words are recognized and added to various editions of English language dictionaries. Other words get an additional meaning and have this new definition added. 2009 was no different than any other, as new definitions for existing words such as "twitter" and "tweet" entered common usage. Many other words, however, are much more obscure. Following is a list of words that...Read full story
Joslyn James: is Elin Nordegren Tiger's very own Debbie Rowe?
Orlando, Fla - (Thrilla-Spilla): "Yeah, it's a kinda copycat Michael Jackson marriage," porn actress Veronica Slut-Daniels claimed today. "Guess the term 'broodmare' comes into it! "Hellsbells, Tiger's wife's helluva lot prettier than ex-derm...Read full story
Lautner and Pattinson In Fight Over Swift Remark
Although no one is talking about it, there was a report this morning that after a little celebrating over the success of the Twilight New Moon movie, Rob Pattinson gave an offhand joke about Lautner and Taylor Swift that Lautner took offense to. "...Read full story
Florida health Department Condems Wood's Mansion: 11 in One Bed 'Unsanitary"
Health officials, urged on by Disney spokesmen embarrassed by bad publicity from the cities 'wildest animal', Tiger Woods, condemned his $2.7 million dollar mansion claiming it was a 'health hazard.' "We've heard of Haitian boat people living in o...Read full story
Veronica Deramous Cuts Out Her Own Rectum
(Defecated News)Washington's most hated woman, Veronica Deramous, was rushed to hospital last night after cutting out her own rectum, anus, and most of her left buttock with broken glass. The lady, described by many as a 'fucking scum, skanky pie...Read full story
Woods/Boyle video: Queen 'at death's doorstep' over singer's antics
London - (Boil-on-the-Bum): Is the UK singing sensation the thirteenth slut to crawl out of the sordid Tiger Woods shagging woodwork? Intimate footage of HM's illegitimate daughter Susan Boyle giving Woods a bareback run for his bad-assed shagging...Read full story
Clay Aiken: I Have Never Met Tiger Woods
BANGOR, Maine - Clay Aiken in town to perform at a sold out concert at The Landlocked Atlantic Salmon Arena was asked about a rumor regarding him and Tiger Woods. Aiken, who is openly gay replied that he has never even met Tiger Woods and even if...Read full story
Woods In Serious Condition Says Doctor
Dr. Alan Meredith, a psychiatrist at a Florida clinic, has revealed that Tiger Woods has been consulting him for the past two weeks and that he feels that the star golf great is in serious danger of hurting himself. "By taking me out to my own gol...Read full story
Holly Sampson And Ron Jeremy To Star In "A Hole-In-One"
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Porn star Holly Sampson, who is number 7 on Tiger Woods "Scorecard" has just announced that she will be appearing with Ron Jeremy in Vilandro Gorianzanni's A Hole-In-One. The fabulously good-looking Sampson is reportedly being pai...Read full story
Sophomoric Twits and Depraved Porn Junkies Invade Streets of Spoofington California
Known the world over for their eclectic residential base of satirical writers, Spoofington California was overrun this past weekend with nebbishes, sophomoric young males, hetero porn junkies and puerile twits from various age groups, all expecting t...Read full story
Supermarkets to save the Church of England
A think-tank commissioned by the Archbishop of Canterbury to produce a report on the finances of the Church has published a preliminary paper for discussion. The paper entitled "how to secure a dignified demise for the Church" is being published...Read full story
Farting into scientific history
In a moment unequalled in the annals of history, a university researcher has bottled his own flatulence and utilised it to power a lawn mower. Alex Lubic, a part time laboratory assistant, came up with the idea to bottle the anal gas, methane, wh...Read full story
Red Stiletto Shoes
On 18 July 1973, Lt. Gen. Daoud Khan, cousin to King Zaher Shah of Afghanistan along with a group of young military officers deposed the King in favor of a Republic. As time went on, Daoud Khan found out he could not trust Moscow and the officers. Therefore, he turned for help to Moslem countries: Kuwait, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and the Shah of Iran. It was too late. He, his whole family, and aids wer...Read full story
Humane Society Turns Out to Honour Skoob at Historic Birthday Bash: Bar Stool Retired!
A horde of international revelers turned out to honour Spoof prodigy Skoob 1999 as he was feted, ironically on his birthday, for his contribution to humanity and for his untiring efforts to preserve free speech and back yard wild life. The celebr...Read full story
Top 5 Hypocritical Bastards
(Defecated News) We love to hate them, but some turn it into an art form. Saying one thing, but doing the total opposite, and normally fucking innocent people over in the process. Here's my TOP 5 HYPOCRITICAL BASTARDS list: 5) BONO - jets around in big planes, but complains about governments doing the same. Twat. 4) ISLAM - Literally means 'religion of peace' - yeah, right! 3) DIAN...Read full story
Ghostbusting Bonkers Kicked Out Of NY
Two British tourists told yesterday of their ordeal at the hands of American anti-terrorism authorities during a long-awaited trip to New York. They claimed they had been "traumatised" by the "heavy-handed over reaction" of the police when they tr...Read full story
Tiger Woods - The Infamous 'Sex SMS' - EXCLUSIVE
(Defecated News) We've been waiting weeks for the details, and it didn't appear likely that we'd even find out what exactly was said between Tiger Woods and the secret lady only known as 'The Ninth Hole'. But devoted reporters from The Spoof have cleverly bribed Mr Woods' cellphone company for transcripts - and here they are folks! Fuck, Yeah!! 'TW' - how r u? xxx TW :-) '9H' - fine. u? X...Read full story
Willie Nelson: Playing Music, Smoking Dope Is What Life Is About.
"Maybe I never told you on those lonely, lonely nights, How fun it was to light up After one of our fights. The little things I could have said & done I just didn't take the time, But music & dope was on my mind, It was always on my mind." Yep, that's what life is about according to Willie Nelson, music and pot. "How do you think I got through those income tax days or...Read full story
Tiger Woods Snorting Cocaine Story Rubbished By Neighbor
The Tiger Woods story took an extraordinary turn this afternoon when the golfer's neighbor, one Jarious Adams, told reporters that a claim that Woods had been snorting cocaine was "totally untrue" Mr Adams said his earlier comments had been misint...Read full story
Santa's Reindeer Still in Psychotherapy
With zero hour approaching and Christmas only days away, the North Pole Health Services have yet to release Mr. Kringle's primary sleigh team from their mandatory counseling and treatment program. Forced into the program after numerous reports of...Read full story
Darling Announces Plans To Tax 'Mingers and Munters'
(Defecated News) Some call it cynical electioneering, other call it genius. Whatever people think of it, one thing is certain - it will be passed as law by very soon. As of next week, people considered by the governenment to be 'fucking munters'...Read full story
Reindeer Featured on Reykjavik Menus
Normally nothing more than a local story, and an event to look forward to for residents of Reykjavik, has turned into an international controversy, made newsworthy only after what many would deem to be unwanted publicity from the People for Ethical T...Read full story
Hearts Team To Take Up Rollerball
After playing feebly so far all season, all the players of Scottish Premier League team Heart of Midlothian F.C. announced that they were quitting football and switching to playing rollerball instead. 'We're just too tough and physical for footbal...Read full story
Tiger's Rat Meat health warning, issued by the Rat Meat Processors Association.
Orange County, Florida: In a new development to the Tiger Woods Brands Inc., the Rat Meat Processors Association President, Herr Pied Piper has issued a Tiger's Rat Meat 'Health Warning'. From his office in Hamelin, Germany, Herr Pied Piper release...Read full story
Snowbound Insomniac Wakes Local Neighborhood
Reportedly awakened by the constant howling of the Midwestern winds off a neighboring plain mixed with the tinkling of ice crystals on the glass window near his bed, one local Wisconsin resident apparently lost control of his faculties this morning a...Read full story
George Michael 'Snorts Breadcrumbs'
(Defecated News) Troubled star George Michael has had to deal with many addictions over his lifetime. These include addiction to: > Lying about his gayness > Only having one dance move > Being a Serial Fudge-Packer > Being shit...Read full story
Tiger Woods' Mother-in-law Denies Being 'The 9th Hole'
(Defecated News) The world looked on in shock when a few days ago, the mother-in-law was rushed off to hospital with abdominal pains. Unconfirmed reports say that some people believe Barbro Holmberg was in fact 'THE NINTH HOLE'. However, lawyers f...Read full story
Carina Eta - The Brick In My Fishpond (Unabridged)
Oh, that Carina Eta! The apple of my eye! Or, at least, my fingertips, For 'twas upon the internet That we two spoofers met She stole my heart (My 'virtual' one, you understand) And never gave it back, Well, she couldn't, you see, It was only 'virtual' For many thousand hours, We typed this way and that, Joking, flirting, confiding - In fact, I feel a bit of a prat Disclosing all...Read full story
Tiger Pornogate PR Adventure - Naked Pics to High Bidder
In yet another ratcheting up of the Tiger Pornogate PR adventure, a magazine is reporting that butt naked pics of the Golf Great are available and that they are being shopped around to Playgirl Magazine to see what "their value level is". Playg...Read full story
Adam Lambert loses his voice: emergency services in panic
Los Angeles, California. American Idol runner up and rising star, Adam Lambert, has lost his singing voice and has sent out a SOS to local emergency services to try and find where he mislaid it. Lambert believes he may have way laid it near Laure...Read full story
Tiger Tales Slurp Into Steamy XXX Porn Star World
The dastardly mistress saga that has been unraveling the Dudley Do-Right image of the Tiger Woods empire has gone south of a spanking offense and all the way to the steamy and stinky realm of kinky sex porn stars. Sex-Pot Babes seven and eight have...Read full story
A Partridge in a Pear Tree, 2009 Interpretation
On the twelfth day of Christmas (winter solstice), my true love sent to me Twelve drummers drumming, ($75 per drum courtesy of OPEC) Eleven pipers piping, (climate change is causing the sky to fall) Ten lords a-leaping, (a session of the US Senate or the House of Lords) Nine ladies dancing, (a TV program) Eight maids a-milking, (a PORN movie) Seven swans a-swimming, (protecte...Read full story
Wife Reveals How Skoob1999 Got His Pen Name
The wife of popular Spoof writer Skoob1999 has finally revealed how her husband chose his pen name. While he has stated that it was based on his love of reading and that it was actually "books" spelled backwards, she has come forth with the truth an...Read full story
Spoof Writer Skoob1999 Excited About Upcoming Prostate Exam
Spoof writer Skoob1999 received word that his first prostate exam will take place on December 10th. Unlike the reactions given by normal men, however, Skoob1999 is excited by thoughts of the procedure. To make matters even better, the event is sche...Read full story
Kevin Jonas Wedding Scandals - Danielle Tells All!
What happens when Kevin Jonas decides to "be nice" and invite the Twilight cast to a party? Not-so-amazing things, I can tell you that. Kevin Jonas's wedding was so private that his wedding was last night and nobody even knew! "We're so proud t...Read full story