Tiger receives interesting proposal

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 7 December 2009


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A photo of Rachel Uchitel's St. Louis attorney, Fiona Choospington.

NEW YORK CITY - One of the "Woodwork" girls, Rachel Uchitel has reportedly conveyed to Tiger Woods that if his wife Elin divorces him she would be willing to marry him.

Uchitel, who use to manage Manhattan's Tit 4 Tat Topless Lounge, said that she knows that Tiger would like to marry her except for the fact that he has a wife.

When Uchitel was asked how she could be so sure she smiled and said that she knows because he has told her dozens of times in person while they were parked in dark out of the way places.

She also said that she has 823 text messages where he mentions words such as marriage, lips, wedding, honeymoon, libido, Hawaii, tits, and divorce.

The 34-year-old who was once a New York Giants cheerleader pointed out that she has a tattoo with the words "Tiger Woods Tigress" tattooed on her bikini line.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have seen a photo which corroborates Miss Uchitel's bikini line tattoo statement.]

Rachel Uchitel has already secured the legal services of St. Louis attorney Fiona Choospington, who is one of the top relationship lawyers in the United States.

Uchitel wants everyone to know that she is not after Tiger Wood's money and that she just wants to simply be the next Mrs. Tiger Woods.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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