A Christmas Tale

Funny story: A Christmas Tale

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Once upon a time there was a man called Joshua, that is Jesus in Greek, and Jesus was descended from the royal family of Israel through King David, and his cousin was John the Baptist. And Jesus was born in what is now called Israel many, many years ago, an area which was occupied by the Romans, and he was both Jewish and not Jewish - for there w...

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Sarah Palin To Star With Leslie Nielsen In "The Naked Gun - Please Pass The Baked Alaska"

Funny story: Sarah Palin To Star With Leslie Nielsen In "The Naked Gun - Please Pass The Baked Alaska"

HOLLYWOOD - Sarah Palin trying to do her best to get herself out in the public eye has just agreed to star with the hilarious Leslie Nielsen in the McZuckerwitz Cousins film, The Naked Gun - Please Pass The Baked Alaska. In the film set in the bea...

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'Walk On The Bland Side' by Barack Obama released

Funny story: 'Walk On The Bland Side' by Barack Obama released

As a tribute to the great American song writer Lou Reed, President Barack Obama today brought out his version of 'Walk On The Wild Side'. These are the lyrics: 'Barack came from Hawaii, USA Hitch-hiked his way to Illinois-ay Whitened his skin on the way, Put on an act to hint he was gay Hey Barry, take a walk on the bland side Hey Barry, take a walk on the dumb side Hillary came out fr...

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"Oprah" To Be Replaced By "Grand Ole Oprah!"

Funny story: "Oprah" To Be Replaced By "Grand Ole Oprah!"

When the final episode of Oprah goes off the air in about a year from now, Harpo Inc. is saying that it will be replaced by The Best Of Oprah mixed in with the top country artists live and on film. "We'll be reshowing a top interview, say with Joh...

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Few People Feeling Sorry for Tiger Woods

Funny story: Few People Feeling Sorry for Tiger Woods

Even as the holidays are upon us, few people interviewed feel sorry for the worlds highest paid golfer Tiger Woods, according to recent opinion polls. "He's getting laid by some of the hottest women in the world and we're supposed to feel sorry fo...

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Amazing Christmas gift! Research reveals 3 Wise Men gave Baby Jesus gift of myrrh to prolong life; Scientists discover its amazing cholesterol lowering properties.

Funny story: Amazing Christmas gift! Research reveals 3 Wise Men gave Baby Jesus gift of myrrh to prolong life; Scientists discover its amazing cholesterol lowering properties.

LONDON: Scientists have made an amazing discovery regarding myrrh - one of the gifts given to the Baby Jesus by the 3 Wise Men. Myrrh, it seems was not just used as an embalming fluid in ancient times. It also played an important role in lowering...

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The Bonkettes Spring Christmas Surprise For British And US Troops In Afghanistan.

Funny story: The Bonkettes Spring Christmas Surprise For British And US Troops In Afghanistan.

The Bonkettes even outdid their MEN gig this Christmas morn as they turned out for the troops in Camp Bastion. In a total surprise, the Bonkettes took the stage alongside Ronnie Wood, Stewart Copeland, Alice Cooper, Bob Geldof, Midge Ure, Eric Cla...

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Anesthesiologist passes gas

Funny story: Anesthesiologist passes gas

Horror erupted in the course of routine back surgery on hospital patient Morris Murcheon, 31, and he slept through the entire ordeal. Mavis Brincheton, M.D., said that the explosion, triggered by the laser cautery device she was holding at the ti...

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Anthropologist discovers tribe of 'shy geeks' in rain forest

Funny story: Anthropologist discovers tribe of 'shy geeks' in rain forest

Snorri Oluffssonn, an anthropologist with the Ollvigg Larrsenn Center for Ethnographical Studies, has discovered a lost tribe of geeks living in the rain forest of the Amazon. 'It's quite amazing what has happened to the tribe in only two generati...

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Astrologer discovers new sign of the Zodiac

Funny story: Astrologer discovers new sign of the Zodiac

Hester Chester, psychic and astrologer, has after years of effort discovered a new sign of the Zodiac. 'My predictions were always just a little bit off', she said. 'I knew there had to be another factor at work.' That factor, it turns out, was...

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Theologian determines God's IQ - intelligent design questioned

Funny story: Theologian determines God's IQ - intelligent design questioned

In post-modern times, 'intelligent design' is the theory most often offered as a challenge to Darwinian evolution. According to the theory of intelligent design, various physical structures, such as the human eye, are simply too well-made to be co...

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Ornithologist discovers wingless, featherless bird

Funny story: Ornithologist discovers wingless, featherless bird

Hubert Sneed of the College of Ornithology of Mudbury University has announced his discovery of a new species of bird. 'This is the thrill of a lifetime', said Sneed. 'With all the warnings about the loss of biodiversity and species worldwide, th...

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Archaeologist unearths Grant's tomb

Funny story: Archaeologist unearths Grant's tomb

Students of history have long puzzled over the question: 'Who is buried in Grant's tomb?' A partial answer to the question was found in 1902, when Jubal Mullarkey determined that no-one was buried in Grant's tomb. Since the tomb is above ground,...

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Proctologist arrested in 'rhoid rage incident

Funny story: Proctologist arrested in 'rhoid rage incident

Murray Lloyd, a local proctologist, was arrested early last evening in a 'rhoid rage' incident. Lloyd, 43, was released after posting bail on charges of vandalism, assault, and interference with official acts. 'Rhoid rage should not be confused wi...

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Lexicographer proves who wrote Shakespeare plays

Funny story: Lexicographer proves who wrote Shakespeare plays

Literary historians have long thought that William Shakespeare could not have written all the plays attributed to him. The theory generally advanced is that his writings display in-depth knowledge of such a wide range of topics that someone of his hu...

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Amy Winehouse Dreads Getting Disease!

Funny story: Amy Winehouse Dreads Getting Disease!

New York City: Amy Winehouse was talking to her friend Reggie recently, he reported, about the fact that she might easily catch a dreaded disease, because of some bits of conversation she had overheard at a nearby table when Reggie was getting them...

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Cheryl Cole Squirts Some Bum-Juice In A Taxi

Funny story: Cheryl Cole Squirts Some Bum-Juice In A Taxi

It seems that over the recent weeks, Cheryl Cole's reputation has moved from being the 'Perfect Pop Princess' to the 'Pitiful Poo-Problemed Pikie'. Indeed, week after week, she has been involved in some kind of 'dung debacle' or another. This week...

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Premiership manager caught with pants down

Funny story: Premiership manager caught with pants down

A PREMIER League manager spent more than an hour in the company of hookers in a "Thai" vice den, Simon Dogbreath a leading gambler has his money on Avram Grant at 2/1, Gary Megson at 6/1 and an outsider of 20/1 on Harry Rednapp 'Its easy youve j...

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Old Bugger Bangs On About Christmas Not Being Like It Used To Be

Funny story: Old Bugger Bangs On About Christmas Not Being Like It Used To Be

It's Christmas, and everybody's happy, except Spoof writers and old buggers. One old bugger popped up on British TV today in a broadcast from a care home, moaning about arthritis and how Christmas isn't as good as it was back in the day. "There's...

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Study Finds More People Leaving South, Threatening to Reverse Gains in Gene Pool

Funny story: Study Finds More People Leaving South, Threatening to Reverse Gains in Gene Pool

Mobile, AL - In this Gulf Coast city in the deep south, one thing you may notice is the many abandoned and foreclosed homes. The recession has hit hard here, and this region may be suffering the most from the housing bust. Now the South has seen...

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Santa is Red Menace Declare T-Baggers

TJ McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina and a leader in the T-Bagger movement called a news conference today to declare that Santa Claus was a government agent and a Red Menace. McCorkle stated, "We know what's happening. Our Mamas didn't raise...

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SAP (socks and pants) Christmas presents are rejected by bored, legless Dads, they want sexy pink Tangas!

Dads/Hubbies sick to death of receiving SAP (socks and pants) Christmas presents are rebelling, especially when they're legless! Christmas Eve used to be pretty easy for mums and kids not knowing what to buy Dads for Xmas, SAP's were the solution.

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J-Lo Sends Out Copies Of Her Ass As Holiday Cards

Funny story: J-Lo Sends Out Copies Of Her Ass As Holiday Cards

A lot of people in Los Angeles and New York City among others are receiving a strange Holiday card his year, including hundreds of members of the paparazzi. It is apparently xeroxed copies of Jennifer Lopez' ass. "I get so tired of people talking...

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Least holocaust covered, now others will be

Funny story: Least holocaust covered, now others will be

Hollywood - Having spent near seventy years producing Holocaust films about six million Jews being killed by the Nazis, Hollywood movie makers are now going to move on to other Holocausts. The larger ones. "We wanted to get the smallest Holocaust...

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Alex Ferguson Denies 'Penis Problem' Allegations

Funny story: Alex Ferguson Denies 'Penis Problem' Allegations

Manchester United manager and bloke with a hilariously red nose (I wonder if he drinks too much...?) Alex Ferguson, yesterday categorically denied ALL the evil rumours being spread on online websites. Ferguson has given team many years of 'Man U G...

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"Angels and Demons"

Funny story: "Angels and Demons"

Hollywood - WARNING! SPOILER! While the movie was originally spoiled by the producers, directors and cast, this article will additionally spoil it, by revealing the trite ending to this piece of Catholic bashing crap. As some fans of seventies c...

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Failed Copenhagen Accord Leads to Plunge in Carbon Credits; Gore Almost Financially Destitute, Pleads for BAILOUT!

Funny story: Failed Copenhagen Accord Leads to Plunge in Carbon Credits; Gore Almost Financially Destitute, Pleads for BAILOUT!

A shocking international investigation into the collapsing Carbon Credit financial market has revealed that several prominent proponents of The Global Warming Crisis, lost their ass after the Copenhagen Convention was declared a massive Failure, not...

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Gaga's 'Proper Yahtzee' a tribute to dice game

Funny story: Gaga's 'Proper Yahtzee' a tribute to dice game

The award-winning singer Lady Gaga (Stefani Gemanotta) claims that she owes much of her success to the popular dice game Yahtzee. So much, in fact, that the 23-year-old performer from New York City wrote a song about the game of chance titled "Proper...

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Fuel Prices Set To Plummet After Copenhagen SCANDALS

Funny story: Fuel Prices Set To Plummet After Copenhagen SCANDALS

Following the shameful behaviour of world leaders at Copenhagen a few weeks ago, and the rising evidence that anthropogenic global warming is a pile of wank, would leaders have today apologised and promised to lower fuel retail prices but reducing du...

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UK Man Makes Plans For £Billions After Patenting Snow

Funny story: UK Man Makes Plans For £Billions After Patenting Snow

Starting off as a mechanic, Stevie 'Frosty' Ross of Retford, Nottinghamshire never though he'd be super-rich, but after making a decision that Dragons Dens would be proud, Ross is set to become wealthier than the Sultan of Brunei. "I were sitting...

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Boy George - Porn Flick Freedom DENIED

Funny story: Boy George - Porn Flick Freedom DENIED

In a desperate attempt to gain his freedom, troubled pop star Boy George yesterday launched his appeal to be released from prison. He had been denied by judges last week. He was jailed some months ago for tying up a model hired for a photo shoot...

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America's 10 contributions to the world since 1776

1. Inventing a highly poisonous green cleaning fluid for steel battleships, then turning it black and selling it to idiots as the world's 'favourite' soft drink 2. Misspelling English words like 'favourite', the same way inbred morons do in the land that invented the English language 3. Claiming to invent the aeroplane and motor car when Americans didn't 4. Cowardly avoiding fighting in W...

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Slade Join Ron Wood And The Bonkettes On Stage At The MEN Arena

The Manchester Evening News Arena rocked last night like it's never rocked before. Ever. Peter Kay, the 1999 Treble winning United team, Take That? Forget it. Forget all of it. The Bonkettes blew this city apart, making Freddie And The Dreamers appear like nothing more than a distant memory. From the off they were smokin' With guests Ronnie Wood on guitar and Stewart Copeland of the...

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Melbourne's Worst Commercials of 2009

This spectacular annual event takes place every December in every year since it's first successful launch in December 1994. In December 1994, the reporters of The Spoof went around the Melbourne CBD in trains, trams and buses interviewing exactly one hundred people about the worst commercials they had seen all year. Commercials from previous years were not accepted. Some citizens chose not to answ...

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Discoveries over early gay experiences

There are many people worldwide who have had first gay experiences within the ages of 10-13. So why is this so? Why are children experiencing gay sex at such a young age. We put this to the test when interviewing random people around the streets of Melbourne. One woman, Michelle, said "I had my first gay encounter at age 11 when we, one night, watched a scary movie on her bed alone. Just the tw...

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Big TV Does Spoof Writer's Head In

Funny story: Big TV Does Spoof Writer's Head In

Recent purchaser of a big screen TV from Comet, Spoof writer Skoob, exclusively revealed to us today that he wasn't totally convinced that the purchase was altogether wise. "It hurts me neck when I look up at it," he told us. Wide screen high d...

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Gates Proposes New "Nation Building Fund"

Funny story: Gates Proposes New "Nation Building Fund"

US Department of War Secretary and Chief Propaganda Minister Robert Gates proposed the establishment of a new "Superfund" for nation building. Gates stated that even though his host nation, the United States, was broke and direly in need of being re...

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Pecking Order

Dominance seems to be an innate or instinctive animal behavior, reflecting the relative importance of the members of a group. It is well illustrated in birds who engage in a quarrel as they meet first. The winner of a series of quarrels, then, becomes dominant over the loser. In the hierarchy of the animal kingdom, those who can establish dominance will have the privilege of eating, mating and she...

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Multiple Companies Withdraw Their Endorsement of Tiger Woods

Funny story: Multiple Companies Withdraw Their Endorsement of Tiger Woods

Following the example of Accenture, Inc. and Tag Heuer watchmakers, a conglomerate of agencies and foundations have banded together to announce the termination of their commercial association with Tiger Woods. At a hastily convened press confere...

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Everybody Loves Cheryl Cole - Official

Funny story: Everybody Loves Cheryl Cole - Official

It's finally official - everybody loves Cheryl Cole. What's not to love? She's a beautiful young lady with an endearing Geordie accent who will not sue anybody who says nice things about her. She's a lovely compassionate young woman who occasional...

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Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather Fight On Hold Due to Rump Ranger Allegations

Funny story: Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather Fight On Hold Due to Rump Ranger Allegations

The sports desk is reporting that the BIG dollar boxing match between Manny "Hit Ya' Both Ways" Pacquiao and Floyd "I Shower Alone" Mayweather has been put on hold due to claims of Rump Rangering by Pacquiao. Apparently Pacquiao's former sparring pa...

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Michael Jordan Loses $10 M to Charles Barkley on Golf Course

Funny story: Michael Jordan Loses $10 M to Charles Barkley on Golf Course

Gut busting caddies are now reporting that the golf gambling basketball idol Michael Jordan just lost a whopper of a golf bet to Charles "Trim & Fit" Barkley. Apparently the $20 Nassau bet was doubled and redoubled by Jordan every time he whiffed...

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Regis Philbin Confides: Kelly Ripa May Be Out, Kate Gosselin May Be In

Funny story: Regis Philbin Confides: Kelly Ripa May Be Out, Kate Gosselin May Be In

NEW YORK CITY - Regis Philbin's barber, Sal the Pal, has stated that Regis confided to him that he is seriously thinking of dumping little pixie Kelly Ripa and replacing her with the more younger and womanly Kate Gosselin. Philbin the star of Liv...

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Amy Winehouse Arrested For Kicking Theatre Manager In His Crotch

Funny story: Amy Winehouse Arrested For Kicking Theatre Manager In His Crotch

LONDON - Six Thames Valley police officers arrested singer Amy Winehouse after she kicked the manager of the Milton Keynes Theatre, Chadwick Charlesworth in his crotch, threatened him with a Glock 9 pistol, and waved a Bolivian machete in his face.

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Phil And Dan Save The Day

Funny story: Phil And Dan Save The Day

A Spoof writer's day was saved today in the nick of time, when two chaps from Comet eventually showed up to install a 50" plasma screen TV. Phil and Dan showed up just as Spoofer Skoob1999 was giving up the ghost and abandoning all hope of having...

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Balloon Man to be Fired into Sun

Funny story: Balloon Man to be Fired into Sun

A man who sparked widespread panic and caused the US government to increase its alert code from green to red after falsely claiming his son was piloting a helium balloon, has been given an extraordinary sentence. Judge Stephen Schapanski told Ric...

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