Palin Says Afghan Withdrawal Timetable "Artificial", Could Prevent US Chances of Quitting Sooner

Wasilla, AL - In a Facebook posting former Alaska governor Sarah Palin called Barack Obama's timetable for withdrawal from Afghanistan "artificial", saying that the timetable could prevent a US victory and make it harder for the US to quit before the...

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Aborted Chicago Olympic Plans Revealed

Funny story: Aborted Chicago Olympic Plans Revealed

The city of Chicago, Illinois, which lost out to Rio De Janiero to host an Olympic Games, has revealed their business plan. The plan, which had been approved by the Chicago Olympic Organizing Committee, the Mayor's Office and City Council, and the G...

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Robert Downey Jr. Admits To Mistakes on Sherlock Holmes Movie

Funny story: Robert Downey Jr. Admits To Mistakes on Sherlock Holmes Movie

Robert Downey Jr. has admitted that several mistakes and inconsistencies crept into the new "Sherlock Holmes" movie. The film, scheduled for release on Christmas Day in the United States, is loosely based on the character created by Sir Arthur Conan...

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The Tiger (with apologies to William Blake 1757-1827)

Funny story: The Tiger (with apologies to William Blake 1757-1827)

TIGER, tiger, burning bright In the fleshpots of the night, What trembling hand on flaccid cock Could frame thy awesome steering lock? In what luscious deeps or pits Burnt the fire of thine lips? On what thrusts dare he aspire? He who loves to play with fire? What cold muff or harlot's art Could twist the sinews of thy heart? And when thy balls began to heat,...

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Britney Spears Celebrates 28th Birthday

Funny story: Britney Spears Celebrates 28th Birthday

Britney Spears celebrated her 28th birthday without drawing much attention. The former pop princess and pop-tart who was once the darling of the media and paparazzi has dropped out of the spotlight since her wild living and actions turned many peopl...

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Jennifer Lopez Happy That Private Spanking Footage Cannot Be Shown

Funny story: Jennifer Lopez Happy That Private Spanking Footage Cannot Be Shown

A judge that ruled in favor of Jennifer Lopez in a case against an ex-husband has made the actress and singer very happy. The court ruled that her ex, Ojani Noa, will not be able to use footage of the couple shot on their honeymoon or during the...

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Jennifer Aniston Admits "Yogi Changed My Life"

Funny story: Jennifer Aniston Admits "Yogi Changed My Life"

Actress Jennifer Aniston, one time star of Friends and former wife of Brad Pitt, has admitted that a Yogi changed her life. No, it was not her yoga instructor or a man working with her on transcendental meditation or eastern religious philosophies.

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Ugly Betty Spawns First Spin-off

Funny story: Ugly Betty Spawns First Spin-off

The television hit series has spawned its first spin-off. Butt-Faced Rosie will make it's debut in the coveted, high ratings spot right after this year's Super Bowl. The program'c characters will appear on two of the January episodes of Ugly Betty,...

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Al Sharpton Upset At Use Of Term "Black Ice"

Funny story: Al Sharpton Upset At Use Of Term "Black Ice"

Al Sharpton is upset at news stations and highway departments using the term "black ice" to describe dangerous driving conditions. He said to reporters in New York City that the wording is racial and derogatory and that he will call in watchdogs at...

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American Idol Winner Fantasia Barrino To Star In New Reality Show

Funny story: American Idol Winner Fantasia Barrino To Star In New Reality Show

Season three winner of American Idol, Fantasia Barrino, is set to star in her own, new reality series. The show, "Why You Should Watch Me And Not Adam Lambert," is set to debut on MTV on January 15th. This new reality series will focus on the har...

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New Arkansas Driver's License To Include Cup Size and Breast Measurement

Funny story: New Arkansas Driver's License To Include Cup Size and Breast Measurement

Beginning in January of 2010, all driver's licenses issued in the state of Arkansas will include women's breast measurements and cup sizes. These may be updated on licenses free of charge at any motor vehicle department location for any females expe...

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Meredith Baxter is a lesbian

Funny story: Meredith Baxter is a lesbian

Actress Meredith Baxter confirmed the rumors that she is a lesbian. Meredith Baxter worked on "Family Ties". "It was a later in life recognition because young men didn't find my wrinkled face attractive anymore," the actress explained to Matt...

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One Of The World's Leading Psychiatrists Says Tiger Woods Took His Nickname Too Literally

Funny story: One Of The World's Leading Psychiatrists Says Tiger Woods Took His Nickname Too Literally

BUDAPEST, Hungary - One of the world's leading psychiatrist Vinci Miskovic of Budapest said that he blames Tiger Woods problems on his nickname. Growing up with the nickname Tiger, whose real name is Eldrick Tont Woods, young Eldrick was expected...

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Polanski Out Of Jail On $4.5 Million Dollar Bail

Director Roman Polanski will leave jail Friday on $4.5 million dollars in bail ($1.5 million dollars for each bodily orifice through which he raped a 13 year old girl). Polanski will then be expected to remain at his Gstaad chalet to await word on w...

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Merideth Baxter Admits It Was Michael J. Fox That Made Her Gay

Funny story: Merideth Baxter Admits It Was Michael J. Fox That Made Her Gay

Actress Merideth Baxter, who starred as Michael J. Fox's mother on Family Ties during the 1980's, has come out of the closet and admitted that she is a lesbian. Baxter, who has been married three times and has five children, said that it was the Mic...

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Little Red Riding Hood Admits "When Big Bad Wolf Tried To Eat Me, It Was Consentual"

Funny story: Little Red Riding Hood Admits "When Big Bad Wolf Tried To Eat Me, It Was Consentual"

In a press conference held in her late Grandmother's house, Little Red Riding Hood has admitted that she lied in her allegations against the Big Bad Wolf. "When I said that he tried to eat me that one night forty years ago, it was actually consentua...

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"Don't You Want Me Baby?" Cocktail Waitress Asks Tiger

Funny story: "Don't You Want Me Baby?" Cocktail Waitress Asks Tiger

She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when a famous man named Tiger found her. So claims cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs, 24, a young lady who popped out of the woodwork faster than shit flies off a swung stick. The young lady claims...

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Rober Ebert Sues Hitchhikers For Copyright Violations

Funny story: Rober Ebert Sues Hitchhikers For Copyright Violations

Film critic Roger Ebert has announced that he is suing hitchhikers across the freeway and interstate system for violations of copyright. Several years ago, Ebert and his late partner, Gene Siskel, trademarked their famous "thumbs up" symbols. "Th...

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White House Party Crasher Michaele Salahi Hates Prison, Says It Smells Nothing Like The White House

Funny story: White House Party Crasher Michaele Salahi Hates Prison, Says It Smells Nothing Like The White House

BALTIMORE - Michaele Salahi, alias one/half of the White House Party Crashers team says that she hates being in prison. The statuesque bleached blonde says that prison stinks. She said that it smells like dirty pantyhose, sweaty bras, soiled under...

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Tom Cruise To Star In Ishtar Remake

Funny story: Tom Cruise To Star In Ishtar Remake

Tom Cruise, the man who believes that everything he touches turns to gold, will star in a remake of the 80's bomb Ishtar. The film is generall considered one of the worst ever made and starred generally bankable Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.

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Communist party leader admits ideas "just won't work"

Funny story: Communist party leader admits ideas "just won't work"

The leader of the Communist Party of Great Britain, Trevor Griff-Griff-Griffiffifths, spoke exclusively today to TheSpoof and described how he realised that the party's ideas were "all nonsense" and "could never work". Mr Griff-Griff-Griffiffifths became leader in 2004, a move which he now describes as a mistake. He said, "I thought it would be cool - all the T-shirts with Che Guevara, the sens...

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Running Back Sues To Have Stats Combined

Funny story: Running Back Sues To Have Stats Combined

A college football running back Ryan is in both 3rd and 4th place on this year's statistics for rushing yards by a running back. The football player has sued to have his statistics combined and make him the number one rusher in the nation. "No on...

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Jaggedone is blasted away by a German Hurricane called RAMMSTEIN!

Funny story: Jaggedone is blasted away by a German Hurricane called RAMMSTEIN!

Here is a tale to tell all Spoof metal/rock freaks, hope you enjoy it, it was taken from my blogsite and edited especially for metalhead Spoof readers and writers Jaggedone has been literally "BLOWN-A-FUCKING-WAY-BY-A TEUTONIAN-HURRICANE!!" There's not many things that excite this ol fart but last Monday in downtown Cologne, Germany, me and me ol slave WAN-KIN-DIK were given a mega-nuclear-B...

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BCS Announces Teams For National Championship Game

Funny story: BCS Announces Teams For National Championship Game

Before this weekend's SEC and Big 12 championship games even kicked off, the BCS has already announced the teams for the national championship game. Spokesmen for the groud admitted that the organization really stands for "Big Corporate Sponsorship"...

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No Viagra, No Piece!

Funny story: No Viagra, No Piece!

The Union of Transit Workers in Philadelphia are at it again as they are not getting the promised daily doses of Viagra that was agreed upon, to settle last year's walkout before the World Series. "We're hard workers and we demand a hard penis to...

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Global Frenzy As Nevada Anthropologist Discovers Goat Girl

Funny story: Global Frenzy As Nevada Anthropologist Discovers Goat Girl

Following the press release confirming that prominent Nevada anthropologist, Doctor Diane J Poor Phd, had discovered a 'Goat Girl' this Spoof Reporting team decamped immediately for the Nevada desert, with little or no idea where exactly we were head...

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Meredith Baxter Announces Love for Carpet

Funny story: Meredith Baxter Announces Love for Carpet

Following recent interviews on daytime television and with local U.S. newspapers, Meredith Baxter, the former mom on television show "Family Ties", has announced a "late in life" change to lesbianism. No shock to some of her close friends and publ...

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Union of Unemployed Workers makes demands

Funny story: Union of Unemployed Workers makes demands

The Union of Unemployed Workers (UUW) have made demands to the UK Government that their non-working conditions be improved, or else they shall go on strike. The specific improvements they have asked for are: - Free tea and coffee at the JobCent...

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Ant and Dec to Sex up 'I'm a Celebrity'

Funny story: Ant and Dec to Sex up 'I'm a Celebrity'

This year's 'I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here' is so crap that presenters Ant and Dec have taken drastic steps to try and boost their flagging ratings. For a starter, both presenters will present the show naked. Ant (the slightly taller, bla...

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Tiger Woods Farts End Closed Community Lockdown!

Funny story: Tiger Woods Farts End Closed Community Lockdown!

The smell of gas was in the air so thick yesterday that the Isleworth Police had to abandon their previous days lockdown on going door to door seeking evidence on who was attacking people in the community with a golf club. An odor was issued that ev...

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Diners Horrified To Learn That Baby Back Ribs Come From Babies

Funny story: Diners Horrified To Learn That Baby Back Ribs Come From Babies

Persons eating lunch at several BBQ restaurants were horrified to learn that their baby back ribs came from real babies. The popular cuisine draws millions of people into dining establishments around the world, but no one knew that they were actuall...

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Top 10 Things a Wife Can Do to Wreck a Boner

Funny story: Top 10 Things a Wife Can Do to Wreck a Boner

Inspired by Skoob's recent top 10 list. A tribute to mature males in long standing relationships across the globe. We've all been there. Semper Fi, brothers. Top 10 Things a Wife Can Do to Wreck a Boner 10: Show up naked, but without a cold beer in hand. 9: Start calling my penis any demeaning pet name as a metaphor for size. "My little Minnow", "Purple Smurf", "Mini Me", or "Tin...

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187,214 Now Admit To Affairs With Tiger Woods

Funny story: 187,214 Now Admit To Affairs With Tiger Woods

A few days after a national tabloid paper outed Tiger Woods on an affair, a second "other woman" came forward. The next day saw a few dozen. Thus far this morning, it has been thousands of women seeking headlines for admitting affairs with the worl...

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Scientific study proves that wearing tight "Genes" determines the "Longevity" of the male "Dick" !

Funny story: Scientific study proves that wearing tight "Genes" determines the "Longevity" of the male "Dick" !

Scientists have now proven that a man's "Longevity" is not determined by his ethnic origins but is purely down to the tightness of his "Genes"?! It was once thought that one's ethnic origins determine the size of your "weapon" i.e. Negroes have hu...

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Navy Shame Over Kids' Coup

Funny story: Navy Shame Over Kids' Coup

The Ministry of Defence fashed fresh embarrassment today as it was revealed that HMS Ark Royal, the Royal Navy's most iconic vessel, was seized temporarily by a group of schoolchildren while moored off Gibraltar. Captain of the Ark Royal, Corneliu...

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Shopping Couple Leave Kids Alone In Shopping Cart For Two Hours

Funny story: Shopping Couple Leave Kids Alone In Shopping Cart For Two Hours

An Alabama couple have been accused of getting so carried away with grabbing Black Friday deals that authorities said they left their kids alone in a shopping cart. Bluford County Sheriff Gaines Pepper told ALAB Radio in Broadbeam, Alabama, that...

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Obama Causes Three Inmate Riots Over Bumping Charlie Brown!

Funny story: Obama Causes Three Inmate Riots Over Bumping Charlie Brown!

Three different prisons have reported major riots during the night after President Barack Obama bumped The Charlie Brown Christmas Special Tuesday night. Up to nine others reported burned mattresses, stopped up commodes with running water across t...

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Joe Paterno Wets Himself At Announcement Bobby Bowden Is Retiring

Funny story: Joe Paterno Wets Himself At Announcement Bobby Bowden Is Retiring

For the past seven years, Joe Paterno (head coach at Penn State) and Bobby Bowden (head coach at Florida State) have gone back and forth as the all time winningest Division One College Football Coach. Paterno currently leads Bowden by a few games.

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Griffin Closes Motorway

Funny story: Griffin Closes Motorway

A small section of the M25 motorway was closed today due to a hazardous spill. The tarmac from juction 15 to junction 16 was covered in fecal matter when Nick Griffin unexpectedly started talking shit. He was travelling to a function in London...

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Jedward to join House of Lords

Funny story: Jedward to join House of Lords

Downing St announced this afternoon that brothers John and Edwards Grimes known as Jedward were to be offered peerages and will shortly join the House of Lords. Speaking at his monthly press conference beleaguered PM Gordhelpus Brown announced th...

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The Tiger Woods Pro-Celebrity Drinking Contest

Funny story: The Tiger Woods Pro-Celebrity Drinking Contest

Now that the world's number one golfer has been injured and won't be able to play in major tournaments for a while, Tiger 'Beer' Woods today organised the first World Pro-Celebrity Drinking Contest, for resting golfers and other stars who can't get t...

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Police budget cut by half a Billion Pounds

Funny story: Police budget cut by half a Billion Pounds

It has been announced quietly by the Home Office that the Police forces in England and Wales will have to reduce their cost by half a Billion Pounds within the next five years. Forces will have to come up with creative cuts in their spendings without...

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Notre Dame Hires New Football Coach

Funny story: Notre Dame Hires New Football Coach

Notre Dame, the home of the Golden Dome, the Fighting Irish, and Touchdown Jesus has hired a new football coach. The football program, famous for Knute Rockne, The Gipper, and The Four Horsemen, recently fired Charlie Weis after he led the team to a...

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Tiger Woods Scandal Growing - It Is Now Up To 9 Different Women

Funny story: Tiger Woods Scandal Growing - It Is Now Up To 9 Different Women

ORLANDO, Florida - The Tiger Woods saga continues to grow. Media reports now state that nine different women have come forward claiming that they had an affair with Eldrick Tont Woods, alias "El Tiger" Woods. One of the women is a policewoman who...

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Griffin To Undergo Face Surgery

Funny story: Griffin To Undergo Face Surgery

Leader of lunacy, Nick Griffin, is to undergo facial correction surgery to level up the subsidance in his face. The BNP leader has been looking more and more like he's suffering from a stroke, as his face plummets on one side. LSC, the London S...

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Psychics club together to buy Kate Middleton a guide dog

Funny story: Psychics club together to buy Kate Middleton a guide dog

London - (Ectoplasmic): Worried London College of Sidekick Studies seers have had a whip-round for their best client and bought desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton a guide dog for Xmas. "They're acting on fears that love is blind," College spo...

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Spoofer Spoof's A Spoofer's Spoof.

Funny story: Spoofer Spoof's A Spoofer's Spoof.

The day finally arrived when there was no news to report, so a fantastically talented newbie Spoofer resorted to spoofing a fellow Spoofer's spoof, to see if he could instantly rise in the ranks of the Spoof writers chart and hit the top spot by next...

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Houses of Parliament in Toilet Roll Shortage Shocker!

Funny story: Houses of Parliament in Toilet Roll Shortage Shocker!

In a blog written today, it has been disclosed that the Palace of Westminster came extremely close to running out of toilet paper. There were only two rolls left in the entire building left and it would mean that MPs would out to 'rough it out' and u...

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More Minarets, Please - We're British!

Funny story: More Minarets, Please - We're British!

(Defecated News)Following the banning of minaret building in Switzerland, and the same potentially happening in Italy, the UK Labour government has expressed its desire to promote Islam in the UK. Minister for Anti-British Promotion, Sandy Tiksvo...

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Spontaneous Combustion Problem with Gnomes.

Funny story: Spontaneous Combustion Problem with Gnomes.

After several years and thousands of pounds spent on research into the spontaneous combustion of gnomes and other a garden ornaments, a West Midlands council has found that because they are made of concrete, they will not burst into flame. However...

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Iran release British sailors

Funny story: Iran release British sailors

In a compassionate act of international trust and goodwill aimed at demonstrating to the world that Iran is not run by an unruly, medieval bunch of weird-beards lead by a peasant, warmongering ignoramus, the British sailors held captive off the coast...

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A grubby affair: Tool Academy star Jaimee Grubbs dishes the dirt

Funny story: A grubby affair: Tool Academy star Jaimee Grubbs dishes the dirt

Orlando, Fla - (Woody Would Peck Her): LA cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs has briefed reporters about her sordid 20 shag fling with Tiger Woods. The 25 year-old former Tool Academy contestant reckons Mrs Wood should send her errant husband to matr...

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van Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole

Funny story: van Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole

Brussels, Belgium. Former martial arts champion and occasional actor, Jean Claude van Damme, has been selected by a panel of experts as the world's biggest asshole. The criterior used in choosing the winner was mainly how many girlfriends a celeb...

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San Francisco Mayor to Phase Out Traffic Signals

Funny story: San Francisco Mayor to Phase Out Traffic Signals

SAN FRANCISCO, California - Mayor Gavin Newsom gave the green light today to a controversial new initiative aimed at driving down the city of San Francisco's gaping budget deficit. Beginning January 1, 2010, he announced, maintenance crews will be...

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Rush Limbaugh Releases His Latest Book: "I Am Totally Perfect Except For My Silly Man Boobs"

Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Releases His Latest Book: "I Am Totally Perfect Except For My Silly Man Boobs"

MANHATTAN - Rush Limbaugh has just released his 73rd book. This one is titled, I Am Totally Perfect Except For My Silly Looking Man Boobs. Limbaugh said that his book is a follow up to last years highly popular, I Am Perfect, Accept It, And Don't...

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Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Caught In Underwear Scandal

PARIS - The first lady of France Carla Bruni-Sarkozy has been caught in an underwear scandal. Apparently Bruni-Sarkozy was caught in the possession of 800 pairs of her panties, which she was transporting to Wales to sell on the open market. Wal...

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Jessica Simpson Loses 95 Pounds And Says She Did It To Get Tony Romo Back

Funny story: Jessica Simpson Loses 95 Pounds And Says She Did It To Get Tony Romo Back

MALIBU BEACH - Jessica Simpson who went on the world-famous Yoki Nishimura Japanese Diet has lost 95 pounds. Simpson said that the diet consists of eating nothing but sushi. She said that she had sushiburgers, sushi tacos, and sushi pizza. And...

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Police confirm Interactive Video Game Killer at large

Funny story: Police confirm Interactive Video Game Killer at large

Burbank, Ca.-Authorities now believe that the suspected shooter in the interactive video game, "Tactical Weapons", who shot a man here, escaped from the game soon afterward and is now on the lam. Police found Amos Walker 's lifeless, bullet ridden...

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Harry Reid: Health Bill to Please Everyone

Funny story: Harry Reid: Health Bill to Please Everyone

WASHINGTON, DC - After extensive discussion on the Health Care Bill, Harry Reid has announced that "everything everyone wants" will be in the final legislation. By using "triggers" and vague nonexistent government positions and committees to dete...

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New York City Mayor Proclaims Himself "Bagel of Life"

New York City Mayor and mult-billionaire Michael Blumberg announced today that he was appointing himself to a new office and assuming a new title: that of "Bagel for Life." When asked to explain what this new positiuon meant he expained "I was re...

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Overheard Phone Conversations At Barnes & Noble

Funny story: Overheard Phone Conversations At Barnes & Noble

Bits of conversation overheard of people talking on cellphones while reading books for free at Barnes & Noble Cafe: "So my attorney, Mr. Randolf jumped up and shouted, "I object, your honor! His 'alleged' cannibalism! 'Alleged!' cannibalism!" "Boy Ralphie did I just have a wonderful crap while I was talking to you awhile ago. It set the hand blower off on the wall. They're still back the...

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Man Criticised For Ironing Shirt

Funny story: Man Criticised For Ironing Shirt

There was deep consternation amongst local Bangkok residents yesterday after it was discovered that an expatriate English teacher living in their midst had undertaken a domestic duty normally reserved for the fairer sex (women) - he had ironed a shir...

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Obama Bottles It

Funny story: Obama Bottles It

President Obama tonight bottled it. He gave a very eloquent speech but he still bottled it. Essentially what he was telling the citizens of the free world was that the United States could no longer afford to wage war in Afghanistan. The cost...

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Carly Fiorina Dismisses Claims That Her Vagina is "Evil"

Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina defended her vagina this morning amidst growing speculation that it has aligned itself with the Devil's ends. Concerns were raised shortly after Fiorina joined John McCain's Presidential Campaign as a seni...

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Tom Jones And Dame Shirley Bassey Blown Away By The Bonkettes In Vegas

Funny story: Tom Jones And Dame Shirley Bassey Blown Away By The Bonkettes In Vegas

It's chaos here in Las Vegas tonight. Absolute chaos! The Bonkettes have just finished their latest gig in Caesar's Palace car park, and we've got Welsh legends Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey with us. But this is just mayhem! Caesar's Palace car par...

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Ireland: we deserve a place in the final!

Funny story: Ireland: we deserve a place in the final!

Ireland have demanded that FIFA give them a place in the World Cup final next year, despite the place already being reserved for the two teams who do best in next year's competition. A green-clad spokesman for the Irish team said, "we deserve it y...

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