Venus Williams slams 'badassed horny muthaputta' Tiger

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 7 December 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Venus Williams slams 'badassed horny muthaputta' Tiger
Is Venus right? Behind the badass macho stuff Tiger's just a bedwetter since the age of seven?

Palm Beach, Fla - (Hawkeye): "Ju-ju hex on Tiger's manhood?" top US women's tennis pro Venus Williams raged today.

"Ya kiddin?

"Like his dork's got some kinda life all its own when Elin ain't lookin?

"Gimme a break, the guy's a walking erection!"

But the 19-times Grand Slam champ's longtime boyfriend, pro golfer Hank Kuehne, reckons Tiger's hormones are to blame.

"Yeah, ever since last year's knee-op all that Ambien and Vicodin's been churning up his scrotal sac," Kuehne sympathised.

"The man needs strappin down. Same as that best pal of his Roger Federer, always up to no good - just like Tiger. Only a helluva lot smarter about the shagging."

Williams once dated Tiger Woods but the experience was a disaster.

"Tiger's kinda kinky and emotional," Venus recalled, "mostly cause he's just a bedwetter since seven years old.

"Had to wear him out a bit before dumping him on Joanna Jagoda. Lord knows how she coped with all that macho stuff and then he has to wear a diaper during night times..."

Holly Sampson is 34.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more