Susan Boyle Says That She Would Still Like To Meet Tiger Woods

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Susan Boyle Says That She Would Still Like To Meet Tiger Woods
A photo of Tiger hitting a ball with his driver. This particular photo now sits on Susan Boyle's dresser at her home.

PANAMA CITY, Florida - Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle in town to perform at a sold-out concert at Panama City's Orange Pulp Arena said that even after all of the gal hoopla that is going on she would still like to very much meet her golfing idol Tiger Woods.

Boyle said that she has followed the career of the man whom she affectionely calls "Tiggy Wiggly" for the past ten years.

She said that three years ago she wrote Woods and asked him for an autographed photo. She said that it took six months but she finally received the signed photo with the words, "Dear Susie, do not give up on your dream. If you really think that you have a good voice just keep practicing. One never knows, look at Celine Dion, she was working as an upstairs maid when she was discovered. And Fergie the lead singer for The Black Eyed Peas was working as a Wal-Mart greeter. Best of luck to you Susie, Love, but not in an inappropriate way, Tiger Woods."

Ms. Boyle was asked why after all of the accusations from at least half a dozen women that are starting to surface would she still want to meet a man who is being shown to have been no better than the Carolina twins, John Edwards and Mark Sanford.

Boyle grinned. She put her index finger up to her lips in a shushing gesture and whispered. I want to meet Tiger Woods so that when he reaches out to shake my hand I can kick him square in his golf balls.

In other news. The name of the high school in Des Moines, Iowa that three years ago was named after former Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld has been changed. The high school has been renamed Bernard Madoff High School. School principal Polly Van Pixton remarked "We had to find a way to try and get back some of our dignity and self-esteem.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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