Girls Aloud Announce U.S. Concert Tour

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Girls Aloud Announce U.S. Concert Tour
A photo of the lovely Cheryl Cole sunbathing in the nude. (NOTE: The bikini top has been photoshopped in).

PIMLICO, England - Aloysius Schillingsboro, manager of the all-girl band Girls Aloud has just confirmed that the gorgeous quartet will be touring the United States on a 37 city concert tour beginning in March of 2010.

The deal has just been finalized and the Girls Aloud first American performance will be at New York City's Madison Square Garden which has already been sold out.

In fact, ticket director Kendra Greenhorn said that every single ticket was sold out within 19 minutes, eclipsing the previous Madison Square concert record which had been set by the Beatles back in 1964.

Schill, as his wife calls him, has just announced that the opening act for Girls Aloud will be none other than the one and only Rolling Stones.

When asked if it wasn't extremely unusual having a great band like The Rolling Stones being the opening act, Schillingsboro said that it was indeed extremely unusual.

He then noted that Mick Jagger had called him up himself and asked nay begged for The Rolling Stones to be allowed to be the opening act for Girls Aloud.

Jagger said that he and fellow Stone member Keith Richard even agreed to play for one/fourth of what they would normally get paid.

Jagger and Richard were asked if perhaps they didn't have ulterior motives for charging such an unheard of low performing fee. They just looked at each other and fell down to the floor laughing.

"Yes, we do have ulterior motives." Replied Mick Jagger.

Keith Richard did not say a word. He just laid on the floor shaking his head, giggling, and holding his crotch.

In unrelated news. There is no truth to the rumor that GOP mouthpiece Glenn Beck has entered into The Witness Protection Program.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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