There were 1,365 spoof news stories published in December 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The Initials 'CEO' Now Have A Whole New Meaning
At one time in our no-so-distant past the term 'CEO', meaning 'Chief Executive Officer', was invented to replace the perfectly good word 'President' as the title for the person heading up a company or corporation. For some reason, some bureaucratic gerbils somewhere decided that acronyms were better than names for describing institutions, treaties, corporations and other entities of importance...
Read full storyElin and Josefin Nordegren 2001 naked holographic pop-up advent calendar blamed for Tiger marriage woes
Orlando, Fla - (Bare-Assed Cheek): A 2001 holographic pop-up advent calendar featuring partially clad Elin Nordegren and her stunning identical twin sister Josefin has been blamed as the root of Tiger Woods' marriage woes. The beautiful blonde blu...
Read full storyPaul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years"
HOLLYWOOD - The two original stars of The Crocodile Dundee movies Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski have signed to star in the fourth installment of the Crocodile Man's exploits entitled, Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years. The film...
Read full storyTiger Woods Fart Caused Car Crash
Tiger Woods, the world's number one golfer who was involved in a car crash outside his Florida home at the weekend, is recovering well, amid speculation as to why the smash happened in the first place. Woods, the cousin of this writer, Monkey Wo...
Read full storyKalika Moquin/Rachel Uchitel/Jaimee Grubbs three-way video shocker!
Orlando, Florida - (Muffdivers Anonymous): The 10 minute YouBoob! footage posted today shows the lissom luscious lovelies honing their irresistible seduction skills. Relaxing naked in a steamy TriBeCa rooftop hottub the three dusky doe-eyed b...
Read full storyNude Photos of Elin Nordegren Surface In Sweden
STOCKHOLM - An old boyfriend of Elin Nordegren, aka Mrs. Tiger Woods, has produced a box of nude photos that he says he personally took of Elin when they were dating. Kristofer Falkenhoff, 29, an unemployed shepherd said that he dated Elin during...
Read full storyPorn Princess Joslyn James Says Tiger Nicknamed Her Hoo-Ha, "Tiggy"
LOS ANGELES - Porn star and gold card member of Tiger Woods infamous "Scorecard," was in L.A. for an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen introduced her and when Joslyn came out she greeted Ellen with a big tongue-in-the-mouth kiss that a...
Read full storyCori Rist or Cori List in new Tiger shagging twist?
New York - (Labia Babe): "Cori List? Hahaha. That's just an anagram of clitoris. Go figure!" the anonymous blonde gal-about-town told LA FagHagSlagMag reporters today. Ms List blames a Japanese celeb-watch site for the accidental miss-spelling...
Read full storyPorn star Joslyn James: Tiger divorce follows 'unreasonable' threesome demands with twin sister-in-law
Orlando, Fla - (Horny Mess): "Gorgeous, hot-assed, blonde, identical Swedish twins?" latest Tiger-shag Veronica Slut-Daniels - a.k.a. porn actress Joslyn James - commented today. "Every red-blooded man's fantasy! Ti sure musta thought he'd hit the...
Read full storyLoredana Jolie (no relation) on her high whorse about Tiger shagging threesomes
Orlando, Fla - (Deeper Throat): "Not many women can take the full twelve inches," stunning Sicilian blonde model Loredana Jolie said today, "least, not orally. "Call it an artform if ya like. An inherited talent on the erotic gene. "Sure kep...
Read full storyNick Jonas Nude Water Slide Before Hundreds Of Park Visitors
Nick Jonas had a brand new experience that most people have never had, he slid down a water slide in a southern Florida Park Monday as people, especially young ladies, wished they had had their cameras or cell phones somewhere on their bathing suits.
Read full storyX-factor's Joe McElderry says "Yes. The rumours are all true"
Joe McElderry has confirmed today that the rumours about him are all true. He is a Vampire, and those pointy teeth aren't just a coincidental dental misfortune. "I'm not a bad vampire, though." He says. "I'm a cheeky Geordie Vampire, and we're...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson In Black Eye Mystery
Your local news reporting team decided that further investigation was warranted when I spotted pics of Twilight star Robert Pattinson sporting what appeared to be a black eye, and horror of all horrors for teens everywhere, sporting a beard! I imm...
Read full storyX-factor's Cheryl Cole says "No" to Joe McElderry offer
Cheryl Cole has said "No" to a hopeful offer from Joe McElderry. Joe was left devastated when the Girls aloud singer said she didn't have time over Christmas to join forces with him to help fight Art Crime in the North East. She wouldn't even help J...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens And Zac Efron To Spend New Year's Eve Quietly At Home
Sexy teen heart throb High School Musical couple Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron will, we have been informed, be spending the New Year quietly at home. With about 500 other people. "They're keepin' it intimate ya know?" our insider, Colin 'The Je...
Read full story'Tiger Babes' nude calendar a Christmas best-seller
Just in time for Christmas, twelve of Tiger Woods' mistresses rolled out a calendar which features one of them 'in the buff' for each month in 2010. 'Too bad the year doesn't have 14 months', said Mark Reacher, vice president of XXX-Rated Calendar...
Read full storyX-Factor Flash - Joe McElderry Asks Cheryl Cole To Divorce Ashley And Marry Him
PIMLICO, England - X-Factor winner Joe McElderry was in The Bitter Lime Tree Recording Studio working on his upcoming album when he was asked several personal questions. The first question was what is the first thing that he looks for in a girl. H...
Read full storyElin In Sweden, Twin Sister, Josefin, At Florida Home
With all the confusion with the emergency vehicles yesterday and the fact that it was Tiger Woods mother-in-law who left in the first emergency, some of it has been sorted out at least. Apparently, Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren and his two children...
Read full storyMerideth Baxter Admits It Was Michael J. Fox That Made Her Gay
Actress Merideth Baxter, who starred as Michael J. Fox's mother on Family Ties during the 1980's, has come out of the closet and admitted that she is a lesbian. Baxter, who has been married three times and has five children, said that it was the Mic...
Read full storyFlorida's Theresa Rogers - The Latest Tiger Woods "Scorecard Cutey Club" Member
WELLINGTON, Florida - Foreeeee! And the ongoing "Golf Gate" soap opera continues to churn. The latest charter member of the "Scorecard Cutey Club" is 40 something Theresa Rogers, no relation to Roy or Mister. Rogers is unique from the other "Go...
Read full storyIs Taylor Swift's New Song "Howlin'" About Taylor Lautner?
"Mama says he's a wolf, Decked out in sheep's clothing That he's a wolf on the prowl... But I love to hear him howl!" Although she's just turned 20-years-old, Taylor Swift seems much younger, as she still listens to her mother about her datin...
Read full storyKristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Can Kiss, Or Bite, My Ass!
After Robert Pattison has been seen recently with another Twilight star, Ashley Greene, Kristen Stewart reportedly stated that Pattinson could kiss her ass. "Better yet, he can bite it." In response to the report, Pattinson was said to have sta...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Arrested In New York As Kristen Rushes To Help!
It has been confirmed that Robert Pattinson, yes THE Robert Pattinson has been arrested in New York City overnight because of identity theft. "Of all things", Pattinson told reporters early today, myself among them, "I get arrested for attempting...
Read full storyMadonna says Shimizu was a non-human sex slave
MADONNA reportedly enjoyed a lesbian affair with a bull dike model JENNY SHIMIZU. The former Calvin Klein model tells British newspaper News Of The World, the feminine chart buster selected her for a boy-on-girl romance from a casting video. S...
Read full storyDannii Minogue Says She Resents Living In Cheryl Cole's "Nude" Shadow
LONDON - X-Factor judge Dannii Minogue revealed to her hairdresser that she is beginning to resent living in Cheryl Cole's nude shadow. Minogue said that every time she picks up The London Hand-Held Daily Mirror, The Nottingham Messenger, or The P...
Read full storyTiger Woods Scandal Growing - It Is Now Up To 9 Different Women
ORLANDO, Florida - The Tiger Woods saga continues to grow. Media reports now state that nine different women have come forward claiming that they had an affair with Eldrick Tont Woods, alias "El Tiger" Woods. One of the women is a policewoman who...
Read full storyNordegren: I cheated on Tiger -- with Uchitel
In a new twist to the Tiger Woods saga, Elin Nordegren has confessed to cheating on Tiger -- with one of his mistresses, Rachel Uchitel. "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart," said a teary Nordegren. "...
Read full storyUsain Bolt resigns from post of role model
Usain Bolt, the Jamaican sprinter who has captured the imagination of not only Jamaicans, but sport-lovers all over the world, today resigned from the position of role model citing unwillingness to accept the burden of rolemodelship. At a press co...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Does A Poo In Her Knickers During Interview
Pop princess, and famed mentor of X Factor winner Joe McElderry found herself in a little pickle yesterday morning. Or perhaps more of a 'poo-ckle'? Cole was being interviewed alongside McElderry on London's LBC 97.3 Radio. Interviewer James O'Bri...
Read full storySir Paul McCartney Supports Rage Against The Machine Over X-Factor's Joe McElderry
LONDON - Ex-Beatles member Paul McCartney stated that in the battle between Rage Against The Machine vs. Joe McElderry to see who will have the number one song in England on Christmas Day he is rooting for the Band from America. McCartney who appe...
Read full storyWeightlifter's Arse Explodes
It's happened before, now it's happened again. At the Russian Open Weightlifting Championships in Moscow, Ukrainian lifter Vaseline Rocksov took to the stage to attempt a personal best lift of 351 kgs. All went well as Rocksov squared up to the...
Read full storyRegis Philbin Confides: Kelly Ripa May Be Out, Kate Gosselin May Be In
NEW YORK CITY - Regis Philbin's barber, Sal the Pal, has stated that Regis confided to him that he is seriously thinking of dumping little pixie Kelly Ripa and replacing her with the more younger and womanly Kate Gosselin. Philbin the star of Liv...
Read full storyArsebook takes on Facebook
A new social networking site has been launched today to take on the mighty Facebook. 'Arsebook' will have a unique position in the networking jungle in that it will only permit photographs of drunken students showing their backsides to the camera.
Read full storyRetarded father wants to marry off his ugly daughter
A retarded father from New Mexico was arrested by police after walking through downtown Albuquerque with a loaded shotgun which he pointed at men who were in the immediate area. The man's name is Ricardo Alfonzo Sanchez and he told police he was t...
Read full storyCheryl Consoles Sobbing Joe Over Rage Against The Machine Storm
Cheryl Cole yesterday displayed a fantastic sense of compassion, as she went along, 'in the nude' to comfort X-Factor champion Joe McElderry, as metal band 'Rage Against The Machine' challenged impressario Simon Cowell's stranglehold on the music bus...
Read full storyHolly Sampson And Ron Jeremy To Star In "A Hole-In-One"
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Porn star Holly Sampson, who is number 7 on Tiger Woods "Scorecard" has just announced that she will be appearing with Ron Jeremy in Vilandro Gorianzanni's A Hole-In-One. The fabulously good-looking Sampson is reportedly being pai...
Read full storyBrittany Murphy Had Several Sex Tapes in the Works
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Brittany Murphy was a hardworking actress who was juggling multiple movie projects in the months leading up to her unexpected death, according to insiders. "This is truly a loss," lamented Norgay Pfifflebother, an expert on home...
Read full storyPorn Star Joslyn James Agrees To Appear On Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - One of the producers of Dancing With The Stars has just announced that one of Tigers Woods "Golf Gals" Joslyn James has agreed to be a contestant on the upcoming season of the dance reality show. Producer Bernadette Penderlicki said th...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen & Wife Want Reconciliation, After Fight Over Miley Cyrus
After Charlie Sheen's wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen, called police & told them that Sheen had held a knife to her throat and the police took the actor in, they now both apparently want a reconciliation. "Charlie was just having a bad night", Broo...
Read full storyPorn Star Holly Sampson's New Book Is Entitled, "Tiger's Stimulus Package"
LOS ANGELES - Golf Gal #7 in Tiger Woods program Holly Sampson has just written the fastest book to ever be published in the history of book Publishing. Sampson's 197 page book is entitled, Tiger's Stimulus Package and has already had advance sale...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Gets Surprise Birthday Gift From Boyfriend, Lautner
If you saw Saturday Night Live then you saw that host, Taylor Lautner, one of the stars of Twilight, get revenge on Kayne West who pulled an award from singer Taylor Swift earlier this year. In the scene, "Kayne" (played by a substitute) tries the...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says She Will Never Ever Lip Sync Like Britney Spears Does
FARGO, North Dakota - Miley Cyrus was in town as the honored guest of The North Dakota Coalition of Young Teens. Cyrus was presented with that organization's coveted Golden iPod Trophy, which is made from the chippings of Mount Rushmore. The aw...
Read full storySnoop Dogg: Fo Shizzle My Nizzle, That Tiger Sho Had Him Some Fine Lookin' Mamas
WATTS, California - Rap singer Snoop Dogg was in Watts recording his next single at the Yo Bro Recording Studio when he was asked by a reporter for Hey Watts Up Bitch Magazine for his comments on Tiger Woods' "Golf Gate" mess. Snoop Dog rattled th...
Read full storyTwilight Eclipse Turns Away Taylor Swift
A spokesman for the Twilight Movie producers say they have turned down a request by Taylor Swift to have a small role in their next movie, Twilight: Eclipse. "Ms. Taylor did not make the request herself, but Taylor Lautner did it for her, it appea...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Squirts Some Bum-Juice In A Taxi
It seems that over the recent weeks, Cheryl Cole's reputation has moved from being the 'Perfect Pop Princess' to the 'Pitiful Poo-Problemed Pikie'. Indeed, week after week, she has been involved in some kind of 'dung debacle' or another. This week...
Read full storyWilly Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 6
Previous Chapters: Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| | Part 5 Part 6 So, to recap, of the children who won admittance to the wonderful magical world of Willy Wanker's Chocolate Shit Factory only Milly O ' Nare and Charlie Fuckitt remain. German fat boy Uder died after getting trapped in the u-bend of a giant toilet-cum-chocolate shit lake; Oirish itinerant traveller boy Pikey Gee-Gee wa...
Read full storySarah Jessica Parker bares her nipples (.) (.) in wintry New York. Pam Anderson calls them 'totally fake paste-ons'
NEW YORK: Although the weather outside was frightful the media found it absolutely delightful when there was nothing stopping actress Sarah Jessica Parker from baring her frozen nipples to the world. According to SJP's PR team, the ubiquitous war...
Read full storyUnderage Miley Cyrus Gets Her First Tattoo
TOPANGA CANYON, California - Miley Cyrus has just revealed that she has just gotten her very first tattoo. The 17-year-old TV star showed it off while swimming at her friend Selena Gomez' swimming pool in Topanga Canyon. Selena asked Miley wha...
Read full storyJoslyn James: is Elin Nordegren Tiger's very own Debbie Rowe?
Orlando, Fla - (Thrilla-Spilla): "Yeah, it's a kinda copycat Michael Jackson marriage," porn actress Veronica Slut-Daniels claimed today. "Guess the term 'broodmare' comes into it! "Hellsbells, Tiger's wife's helluva lot prettier than ex-derm...
Read full storyTiger Tales Slurp Into Steamy XXX Porn Star World
The dastardly mistress saga that has been unraveling the Dudley Do-Right image of the Tiger Woods empire has gone south of a spanking offense and all the way to the steamy and stinky realm of kinky sex porn stars. Sex-Pot Babes seven and eight have...
Read full storyTaylor Swift and Taylor Lautner Announce Break Up
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner have announced that they have ended their relationship and are no longer a couple. The two recently won several polls on which new celebrity couple would be together the longest, but it was not to be. When asked fo...
Read full storyPalin Struggles with Cunnilinigus
ALASKA- In a frantic effort to exterminate the gay community, former Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin (Rep-AK) joined her church's initiation in starting to "pray away the gays". Larry Kroon, Pastor of Wasilla Bible Church, Wasilla, Alaska, reported t...
Read full storyvan Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole
Brussels, Belgium. Former martial arts champion and occasional actor, Jean Claude van Damme, has been selected by a panel of experts as the world's biggest asshole. The criterior used in choosing the winner was mainly how many girlfriends a celeb...
Read full storyItalian President Pardons Amanda Knox: Appoints Her as His "Personal Administer of Joint Affairs"
Rome, Italy / Yet Another F-ing Affair - This EU country was turned on it's collective head today, when President Silvio Berlusconi, terminated the trial of accused murderess Amanda Knox, granted her a full pardon after a secret meeting, and appoin...
Read full storyBritney Spears Upset Her Crotch Pictures Not News Story of Decade
Pop tart and singer Britney Spears admitted that she is upset that pictures of her naked crotch (taken when she exited a taxi in a short skit and without panties) were not selected as the Photo of the Decade or Entertainment News Story of the Decade.
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Cheerleader Admits To Tiger Woods Affair
More Tiger Woods controversy surfaced today when one of the leading cheerleaders of the Dallas Cowboys admitted that she had had a 'fling' with the world's number 1 golfer in 2007. Tammy Slagg, 20, a vivacious blond vixen, said that she and Woods...
Read full storyEuropean Golden Boy Scott Peterson is dominated by black power
Scott Peterson is the victim of a hardened black convict who provides him with protection on Death Row in California's notorious San Quentin prison. In a gripping exclusive, Peterson's lover tells all. Scott Peterson's lover is a 6-foot black man...
Read full storyMick Jagger and The Rolling Stones Dump Guitarist Ron Wood
LONDON - First Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood dumps his Russian-born 20-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova and now it appears by all accounts that the 62-year-old is being dumped by his band, The Rolling Stones. When Wood was asked why he wa...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Has The Hots For Taylor Lautner
The big secret among those on the inside of the Twilight series is that Kristen Stewart no longer has eyes or sighs for Robert Pattinason but for fellow actor, Taylor Lautner. "I don't want to be identified", stated a disguised voice over the tele...
Read full storyDiners Horrified To Learn That Baby Back Ribs Come From Babies
Persons eating lunch at several BBQ restaurants were horrified to learn that their baby back ribs came from real babies. The popular cuisine draws millions of people into dining establishments around the world, but no one knew that they were actuall...
Read full storyKevin Jonas Wedding Scandals - Danielle Tells All!
What happens when Kevin Jonas decides to "be nice" and invite the Twilight cast to a party? Not-so-amazing things, I can tell you that. Kevin Jonas's wedding was so private that his wedding was last night and nobody even knew! "We're so proud t...
Read full storyJonas Wedding a Complete White Out
Singer Kevin Jonas wedded hairdresser Danielle Deleasa this weekend on Long Island, during the season's worst winter blizzard. Wedding party and guests were confined to the Oheka Castle estate grounds during the worst of the storm. Kevin Jonas, a...
Read full storyBrittany Murphy death 'hoax'? The Anna Nicole Smith pharmacology connection
Los Angeles - (Rumormill): A sicko media 'stunt' or terrible, unexplained tragedy? Initial reports this weekend that the Clueless actress had died were met with skeptical derision following a spate of faux stories speculating about her alleged r...
Read full storyTwilight Star Signed For Eclipse, May Not Return For #4
Taylor Lautner says that he has other things on his mind (translation: Taylor Swift) and may not return to do his role on the fourth Twilight movie but that he had already signed to do the next one. "To me, that's far out into the future as to whe...
Read full storyX-Factor's Joe McElderry Reveals Three Intimate Secrets About Cheryl Cole
LONDON - The winner of this year's X-Factor, Joe McElderry has revealed three intimate secrets about X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole. Cheryl Cole was young McElderry's mentor on the show and she seemed to take more than just a passing interest in the 1...
Read full storyMadonna Offers To Adopt All Of Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt's Children
PIMLICO, England - Madonna was in Pimlico visiting an old high school friend who manages Lady MacBetty's Pole Dancing Lounge, Pub, and Crumpet Shoppe. Naomi Bickerlow, said that she had not seen Madonna since they had graduated from Chief Rain-in-...
Read full storyGabby Logan rubbishes Tiger fling
London - (Putters): She's blonde, leggy, beautiful, an accomnplished golfer and a former supple-bodied international rhythmic gymnastics champion. But as the fur continued to fly this week anchor Gabby Logan, 34, vehemently denied any sordid lin...
Read full storyTiger Woods, the porn movie of Hollywood
Hollywood, Los Angeles: Tyler Knight will be starring as Tiger the golfer, and Kayden Kross will be starring as Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, in this big movie to be financed by Tiger's major sponsors. With the multiple extramarital affairs, with...
Read full storyRobert Downey Jr. Admits To Mistakes on Sherlock Holmes Movie
Robert Downey Jr. has admitted that several mistakes and inconsistencies crept into the new "Sherlock Holmes" movie. The film, scheduled for release on Christmas Day in the United States, is loosely based on the character created by Sir Arthur Conan...
Read full storyTiger Woods Tried To Bum Caddie
Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams has made an extraordinary claim to friends in New Zealand that his employer "tried it on" with him during the US Masters in Augusta in 2008. Williams said that he had had a good relationship with the golfer up un...
Read full story'Avatar' movie stills show Tiger shagging blue alien
In a blow to the box-office blockbuster movie 'Avatar', computer hackers have discovered individual X-rated 'frames' showing golf billionaire Tiger Woods engaging in a variety of sex acts with a blue alien. As a result, the R-rated movie might be...
Read full storyTwo Kindles Have Screaming Match in Times Square
A spat between an Amazon Kindle and a Barnes & Noble Nook might not have been a great surprise, but yesterday in New York's Times Square it was a smackdown between two Kindles that made the news. That's right. The same brand of electronic reader...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Sends Kanye West An Interesting Christmas Present
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin - Taylor Swift has won more music awards in 2009, than any other recording artist in the history of recording awards. The native of Pennsylvania performed before a sold-out audience of 85,123 at Milwaukee's Beer Nuts Auditori...
Read full storyX-Factor's Cheryl Cole Will Return, Dannii Minogue Will Be Gone
LONDON - The producer of the extremely popular reality show X-Factor, Agustus Whittingstall, has released a statement that of the two female judges, the very pretty and sexy Cheryl Cole will be returning next season, but the very pretty and sexy Dann...
Read full storyTheresa Rogers drops 'Tiger cub' lawsuit - Tiger infertile
'Tiger babe' Theresa Rogers has been forced to drop her claim against Tiger Woods for support of her child, which she believed Tiger to have fathered. Tiger, it turns out, is infertile and could not have made her pregnant. Senior Spoof Writer Abel...
Read full storyFemale Basketball Players Question New Guidlines That All Participants In Team Sports Must Wear Athletic Supporters
Women's team sports players in basketball, volleyball, soccer, softball, and field hockey are upset about new NCAA guidelines that say that all participants in all team sports must wear athletic supporters (a.k.a. jockstraps). The guideline, known a...
Read full storyAlleged Underwear Bomber: 'it was a mix-up in the laundry'
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is alleged to have tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas Day, says it's all a bad mistake. 'It was a mix-up in the laundry', Abdulmutallab said during a press briefing.
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Happy That Private Spanking Footage Cannot Be Shown
A judge that ruled in favor of Jennifer Lopez in a case against an ex-husband has made the actress and singer very happy. The court ruled that her ex, Ojani Noa, will not be able to use footage of the couple shot on their honeymoon or during the...
Read full storyStrictly Come Dancing's Ali Bastian Scores Five Perfect Tens But Still Gets Booted Off
LONDON - The star of the soap opera Hollyoaks and the drama series Bill Ali Bastian and her partner Brian Fortuna danced good enough to receive a perfect score of 50 out of 50 from the quintet of Strictly Come Dancing judges but in the end it was not...
Read full storySarah Palin's Pussy Doesn't Like Snow in Copenhagen!
Copenhagen, Denmark - On a day when world leaders and tens-of-thousands of protestors descended on Copenhagen, Denmark for the world Climate Change Summit, former illiterate Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin, turned author for midwest Republican cadavers...
Read full storyLittle Red Riding Hood Admits "When Big Bad Wolf Tried To Eat Me, It Was Consentual"
In a press conference held in her late Grandmother's house, Little Red Riding Hood has admitted that she lied in her allegations against the Big Bad Wolf. "When I said that he tried to eat me that one night forty years ago, it was actually consentua...
Read full storyTiger Woods To Retire From Golf So He Can Concentrate On Women
New York, NY - Tiger Woods has released a statement that he will be retiring from golf so that he can concentrate on accommodating his more than willing fan base of women or find time to "...pull more chicks." In acknowledging that his marriage is...
Read full storyElin Woods' Grounds for Divorce Leaked: Littering + Jessica Simpson?
As if things weren't bad enough for golf's former King of Swat, reports are now leaking out from the divorce camp of Tiger Woods' wife, Elin, that grounds for divorce will claim his skills are diminishing due to his inability to recover from 'a bad l...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Spends Christmas With Her Bodyguard
WERNERSVILLE, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin and her eight kids spent Christmas with her bodyguard Steve Nield at her quasi-ranch which was awarded to her by the divorce hearing judge. Kate was quick to point out that Mr. Nield had been accompanied...
Read full storyAl Sharpton Protests Tiger's Choices of All White Babes With Blond Hair
The Reverend Al Sharpton has called for a black sex summit with Tiger Woods to confront Tiger's consistent pick of young white gals with straight blond hair for mistresses. Sharpton stated for reporters that "Tiger Woods has an obligation to hot bla...
Read full storyTiger Woods Medical Records Hacked
Tiger Woods medical records were copied off of his doctors computer early Friday morning and released on the Internet just this morning. The most quoted portion of the record is a portion that states that Mr. Woods suffers from a mild case of vit...
Read full storyTiger "Cyber Girl" Loredana Jolie Says All She Wants For Christmas Is $2 Million!
NEW YORK CITY - Loredana Jolie is the first member of Tiger Woods "Scorecard Cutey Club" who is not from the United States. The beautiful blonde is originally from Sicily. She first came to the U.S. as a young teen. Back in Italy, her family owned...
Read full storyWilly Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 1
A timeless children's classic gets the Jesus Budda treatment for this jolly Christmas Season. Ho ho ho! Part 1 As darkness descends over the old town, a young boy makes his way home from a long hard day slogging in the chimneys. Covered from head to foot in soot and dirt, he dances around gayly ( ye olde worlde meaning) and skips past puddles of filthy black sewerage. "Tra-la-la-t...
Read full storyNew Gal Pals Elin & Jessica Caught Shopping for Sex Toys: Tiger & Tony 'Redundant?'
New Gal Pals Elin Woods and Jessica Simpson were caught unabashedly shopping for a variety of sex toys in a high end Rodeo Drive Adult Store just 6 days before Christmas, apparently insuring that Santa will come early for the blonde bombshells. T...
Read full storySpoof editor's sister Mindy Lawton named in new Tiger hunt!
Orlando, Florida - (Suckers!): Cybersatire has been plunged into chaos following revelations (Chapter 666) that Mindy Lowton (sic), sibling of Spoof editor Mark Lowton, also had a two year fling with golf champ Tiger Woods. "Of course we are not s...
Read full storyMichelle Duggars Gives Birth To Her 19th Child
TONTITOWN, Arkansas - Michelle Duggars, of the TLC reality show, 18 Kids and Counting, has got to be one of the most breedingest women in the history of American childhood breeding. The mother of 18 kids, Michelle Duggars has just 'popped out' bab...
Read full storyCoast Guard Looses Track of Wood's Yacht 'Privacy" as It Enters Bermuda Triangle In Desparate Attempt to Escape Divorce Lawyer!
The United States Coast Guard station located in Key West, professed bafflement today after they lost track of Tiger Woods' 155' private yacht as it fled media attention in Miami and headed toward the Bahamas, and directly into the Bermuda Triangle.
Read full storyTiger Woods Snorting Cocaine Story Rubbished By Neighbor
The Tiger Woods story took an extraordinary turn this afternoon when the golfer's neighbor, one Jarious Adams, told reporters that a claim that Woods had been snorting cocaine was "totally untrue" Mr Adams said his earlier comments had been misint...
Read full storyElin Woods Hits Tiger...With Divorce Papers!
ORLANDO - In a move that most everyone figured would finally happen, Elin Nordegren Woods has filed for a divorce from her philandering husband of five years Eldrick Tont Woods. The ex-Swedish model has told her attorney Reinhold Valterssen that s...
Read full story'Blue Moon' on New Year's Eve confirms Mayan apocalypse of planetary doom
On the last day of 2009, an auspicious day by any reckoning, a 'blue moon' will appear in the skies surrounding the entire planet of Earth. 'Numerologists have been warning about this planetary convergence for centuries', said Judith Cousins, a ps...
Read full storyRihanna Finally Admits That The Nude Internet Photos of Her Are Actually Her
HOLLYWOOD - After ten months of sheer and utter denial Rihanna has finally admitted that the nude photos which appeared on the Internet proporting to be of her are in reality actually her. Rihanna said that the reason she had denied it was because...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says It Was Not Her Flashing Drivers
The young lady who was flashing her boobs at the cars leaving from Nashville, Tennessee two days ago was not Miley Cyrus, she claimed in an interview today. "That was not me. I may have overdid the stripper pole dance thing a little but I know bet...
Read full storyTiger Woods Also Admits to Masturbating
In a candid interview this afternoon, #1 ranked golfer Tiger Woods admitted that when he's not bedding down with super models like Rachel Uchitel he has a tendency to masturbate. "The pressure is overwhelming", Tiger revealed. "I have beautiful w...
Read full storyPlayGal Magazine To Purchase Nude Photos of Tiger From Holly Sampson
MALIBU BEACH - Holly Sampson, aka number 7 on Tiger Woods "Scorecard" is presently negotiating with PlayGal Magazine to sell a collection of two dozen nude photos of the worlds most famous golfer. Cypress Klinkenberg, the publisher of PlayGal said...
Read full storyTiger Woods Lawyers Force Him To Enter Rehab On His Birthday
YUMA, Arizona - Tiger Woods turned 34 on Wednesday, December 30. And for his birthday his attorneys drove him to Yuma, Arizona, where he was registered into The Prickly Saguaro Cactus Rehabilitation Center. Alvin McFlannel and Max Greenbaum both a...
Read full storyBlanket Says Dad, Michael Jackson Could Raise The Dead
Prince Michael II, also known as "Blanket" told reporters outside the house Sunday, while his grandmother slept, that his dad, Michael could raise the dead. "Yes he could do that", seconded Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. "We would be sitting around a...
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