Regis Philbin Confides: Kelly Ripa May Be Out, Kate Gosselin May Be In

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 24 December 2009

image for Regis Philbin Confides: Kelly Ripa May Be Out, Kate Gosselin May Be In
Kate Gosselin at home resting her feet while her eight kids all take an afternoon nap.

NEW YORK CITY - Regis Philbin's barber, Sal the Pal, has stated that Regis confided to him that he is seriously thinking of dumping little pixie Kelly Ripa and replacing her with the more younger and womanly Kate Gosselin.

Philbin the star of Live With Regis and Kelly stated that he is kind of fed up with Kelly's little Miss Goody Goody Two Shoes image. He added that she has turned into Carol Brady of the Brady Bunch TV sitcom.

Regis said that he has met Kate Gosselin on two separate occasions and he absolutely likes her spunk, bravura, and tenacity.

Philbin said that Gosselin's personality is more like Carrie Heffernan's on the King of Queens TV sitcom.

He said that he has watched every episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and he likes the way that Kate basically ran the show.

Philbin said, Kate made the beds, cooked the meals, cleaned the house, fed the kids, helped them with their homework, did the laundry, washed the dishes, made the beds, and still found time to give Jon a hand-job. The woman was simply amazing.

He said that the short-haired blonde was a one-woman dynamo who had the intestinal fortitude of one of Attila the Huns huns.

Philbin pointed out that what he truly admires about Kate Gosselin is that she can go from being a super nice, sweet mommy of eight kids to being a mean, vicious vamp of vileness.

Regis will be making his decision sometime after the holidays. In the meantime he has "King Kate" waiting in the wings.

In an unrelated story. No one still has any idea as to where in the world The Dixie Chicks have gone. One rampant rumor is that they moved down to an isolated fighting bull ranch outside of Aguascalientes, Mexico.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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