It's happened before, now it's happened again.
At the Russian Open Weightlifting Championships in Moscow, Ukrainian lifter Vaseline Rocksov took to the stage to attempt a personal best lift of 351 kgs.
All went well as Rocksov squared up to the bar, breathing deeply.
Then he squatted and attempted a clean and jerk.
Disaster struck.
Clearly Rocksov had bitten off more than he could chew, and unable to take the strain, his arse exploded in a full rectal prolapse which shattered the arse of his leotard and showered the judges in shit.
Howling in agony, and unable to move a muscle, Rocksov could only grimace, as the inside workings of his arse became the outside workings of his arse.
"It looked like he had a big dick sticking out of his arse," one observer observed. "But it seems it was actually his own arse sticking out of his arse. There was shit everywhere."
Judge, Mickey Moonbeam of South London, UK said that this had happened to him before. Wiping shit from his face, he told us:
"It happened one time in Munich. It's an occupational hazard. That wasn't too bad. Messy, yes. Unpleasant, yes. But I'd hate to think what Vaseline Rocksov has been eating. The stink made the lights flicker. It stank like something long dead."
Rocksov was rushed to hospital by paramedics, where surgeons put his arse back to how it should be. They hope.
Rocksov's gay lover was reportedly sulking like a bitch because despite his best efforts he had never made Rocksov's arse explode so dramatically.
Yuri Suckemov told us:
"That was amazing comrade. Just wait 'til I get him home...."
Surely a curious story for the archives.
More as we get it.
