Persons eating lunch at several BBQ restaurants were horrified to learn that their baby back ribs came from real babies. The popular cuisine draws millions of people into dining establishments around the world, but no one knew that they were actually participating in cannibalism.
"I'm actually eating a real baby? Are you joking?" These questions were asked by diner Troy Vinguard as he licked his fingers and sucked on a rib bone at a restaurant in Daytona Beach, Florida, United States. "No wonder the meat is so tender."
"I remember that Jonathon Swift advocated eating Irish babies during a famine," said Maxine Smythe-Jones of Preston. "I suppose that all the liquor their parents drink makes this meat so juicy and flavorful....these are Irish babies, aren't they? I'd assume that if they were Japanese, they'd have more of a soy sauce flavor."
"And to think that we've been missing out on this for hundreds of years because of some stupid and antiquated belief systems," said Niles Moon of Hobart, Tasmania, Australia. "This could really help with population control if people realized how good this was."
Officials at the United Nations admitted that, while there are international laws against human trafficing for slavery or sexual purposes, there are no current restrictions against sales of human meat for consumption.
With the announcement of the source of baby back ribs, the prices of the dish shot up in restaurants and the price of the raw product rose in meat markets. "Everyone wants to try something new," said economist Bill Sawyers. "Skirt steak used to be real cheap until Fajitas caught on, and now it's more expensive than T-bone."
In a non-related story, there is no truth to the rumor that Octomom has dropped off her children to an area butcher shop for a field trip.
