Al Sharpton Protests Tiger's Choices of All White Babes With Blond Hair

Funny story written by Richard DagNabbit

Sunday, 6 December 2009

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Tiger Preference?

The Reverend Al Sharpton has called for a black sex summit with Tiger Woods to confront Tiger's consistent pick of young white gals with straight blond hair for mistresses. Sharpton stated for reporters that "Tiger Woods has an obligation to hot black women wherever he travels to, and that obligation includes access to his "Big Stick". Sharpton went on to question whether Tiger dislikes all black women, or whether he actually believes young white women represent a better screw. Sharpton pointed out that do date, all of his many sexual liaisons have been with young and sexy white babes, something he never was able to get.

Jesse Jackson chided in via telephone conference that there is "plenty of black snapper in Las Vegas" and that Tiger should at least "try it out" as he did for many years while on the campaign trails of the U.S. The Reverend Jackson further stated that "its a Tiger's prerogative" to roam the cafeterias of hot booty freely and "make more Tigers" wherever the occasion should arise.

Tiger's agents responded by stating for the record that Tiger is not interested in any more Tigers, and that he just wants a readily available contingent of young blond muffs for his immediate gratification, particularly after winning golf tournaments. Tiger's agent also leaked Tiger's preference for 69ing with white babes by asking "who would you rather have sitting on your face, "Serena Williams or Jamie Jungers?" His wife, Elin, was unavailable for comment, as she is currently undergoing a battery of tests for all STD's and fungi known to grow in women's sex ovens. Tiger's doctor says the PGA Great has already tested "clean" and says "Tiger never rides bareback with second and third string babes."

The Reverend Al Sharpton will be traveling to Detroit via Las Vegas in anticipation of Tiger showing up at the summit.


Until Next Time,

DagNabbit Rabbit Reporting for BNN News.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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