Written by Francine Fishpaw

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

image for Is Kris Allen leaving his wife for a mysterious statuesque vixen?
"I think that is her?" said American Idol Mansion maid Chulupa LaGrande when shown this photo.

Hollywood, California - Reports are emerging that American Idol contestant Kris Allen is leaving his wife for another woman.

Reporters and paparazzi have packed up their bags after waiting out in front of OctuMom's lawn and did a mass exodus to the Idol Mansion in Hollywood after it was rumored that American Idol season 8 crooner Kris Allen was leaving his wife for another woman.

Kris Allen is the Conway Arkansas Central University student with boyish charms, smooth voice, and shy attitude who has been christened the "Tender Dawg" by Randy Jackson. Allen is the Idol contestant that many have written has movie star looks with his strong jaw line and puppy dog eyes.

A celebrity gossip and news website, stated that they had received a call from an anonymous source that told them that they had overheard a phone conversation of Kris Allen calling his wife to give her the bad news. They said it was hard to hear the caller's voice because a really bad version of the song Pretty Young Thing kept playing in the background. The anonymous source alleged that Kris Allen is having an affair, and that his wife of five months, Katy, was devastated by the news. Yet reportedly Katy Allen, who has been staying in Hollywood, has denied these rumors. Kris's parents were also perplexed by the shocking news.

Reporters arrived at the Idol Mansion to investigate the alleged break up story and there were a frenzy of reporters outside the mansion. Five minutes after the reporters were setting up their cameras out of the blue appeared television's Dr. Phil who arrived with cameras in tow. Dr. Phil told the reporters who were frantically taking his photo "I have come here to personally save this rocky marriage". "As a TV doctor it is my duty to dole out unneeded and unwanted advice and interject myself in this highly publicized break-up". Dr. Phil headed to the Idol Mansion door when suddenly out of nowhere noted lawyer Gloria Allred pushed her way into the fray and tackled Dr. Phil trying to get inside the mansion first. The two proceeded to fist fight in front of the gleeful and cheering paparazzi and reporters.

Luckily with all the frenzy going on this reporter caught the Idol mansion maid sneaking out of a side door.

Idol Mansion maid Chulupa LaGrande confirmed that the anonymous source was correct about rumored affairs going on at the mansion, but was not clear about Kris Allen. "Oh, Jes, I seen it all" said LaGrande. "You can even ask the guy I thought was the gardener, Apoo or Anoop? I get his name mixed up. I thought he was one of the other servants". LaGrande stated "I think I seen the other woman too? That home wrecker, ay dios mio."

When asked if any American Idol executives or Simon Cowell had heard of this LaGrande replied "Oh Jes, in fact Ryan Seacrest, himself, comes to the mansion late at night, but oddly he leaves the next morning through the back door". "But Mr. Ryan was not as bad as Ms. Paula Abdul was. She used to come here drunk and scratch at the door".

"But I think I have seen this girl that Mr. Kris is supposedly seeing. I work the night shift so I don't see them in the day time, but she is around here at night. She is not as pretty as Mr. Kris's wife. She has black hair with a blue streak. Like those punk rock girls and she wears too much make-up. Also she is too tall for Mr. Kris, very tall, and not very pretty if you ask me. One of the other maids said that she thinks that this supposed home-wrecker was one of the four girls in the group of the ten staying at the mansion, but I don't know".

Though Chulupa LaGrande is mistaken because there are only three girls, not four, left in the top ten staying at the Idol Mansion, the identity of this mysterious dark haired statuesque home-wrecking vixen still goes unknown. So far American Idol executives have been tight-lipped about this shocking news and contestant Kris Allen is not taking any phone calls.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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