Lisa Marie Presley Given Custody of Michael Jackson's Children

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

image for Lisa Marie Presley Given Custody of Michael Jackson's Children
Lisa Marie's daddy Elvis (R) shown congratulating President Richard Nixon on becoming a member of the E.P. Fan Club.

LOS ANGELES- In a surprise move the 13th Superior Court of Los Angeles County has granted sole custody of Michael Jackson's three children to his first wife Lisa Marie Presley.

Judge Fernando Hernando De La Luna stated that he based his judgement solely on the fact that the three children are white.

He said that although he has no doubt that Michael's mother would have looked out for the best interest of the three kids, he felt that they would just be better off with Ms. Presley.

Judge De La Luna remembers that two years ago he met Jackson at a Taco Bell Restaurant in Santa Monica and that Michael had conveyed to him that if anything ever happened to him that he wanted his children to be raised by Lisa Marie because she was just as white as he was.

Michael Jackson's close friend, mentor, and idol Diana Ross has stated that Michael had asked her to look after the children if anything ever happened to him.

Reports are now starting to circulate that Elizabeth Taylor, Whitney Houston, and Katie Couric had all also said that Michael wanted his little ones to be with them.

Beverly Hills private investigator Milton Vanderhoot who has been hired by Michael's sister Latoya Jackson remarked that Jackson stressed that he did not want Diana Ross to have his children because she has a bad temper, she is horribly conceited, and she can no longer hit the high notes.

Vanderhoot said that regarding Whitney Houston there was just no way that she would ever be allowed to even visit the children because of the fact that she was way too busy trying to re-jump start her career after ex-husband Bobby "The Coat Tail Rider" Brown had pretty much sent it into the dumpster.

Mr. Vanderhoot added that as far as Elizabeth Taylor was concerned she was just too old to be able to raise three young kids. He added that she would not be able to play leap frog, hide and seek, ring around the rosy, or take them surfing.

And he said that Katie Couric had been ruled out because of the disrespectful way she had treated Governor Sarah Palin during her interviews.

He stated that he had heard from Wolf Blitzer that Geraldo Rivera had told him that Katie just wanted to use the kids as leverage in order for her to ask CBS for a substantial raise in her salary.

When Lisa Marie was asked what she thought about Michael Jackson wanting his three children to be with her, she smiled, brushed back a tear, and simply said, "Hey the Moon Walker has spoken."

In a developing related story. Reports coming out of L.A. are stating that a ticket scalper named Algonquin T. Mickatini from Lompoc, California has sold a ticket to the Michael Jackson Memorial Services for $273,505.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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