RENO, NV - While spending a night at the Reno Casino Hotel, the woman with the world's largest vagina was visited by the ghost of The Man In Black, say sources. Initial reports suggest the hotel was built on the same spot Cash allegedly shot a man, just to watch him die.
She was on her way to 'Frisco, another city known to have been frequented by Country Music's "outlaw," where she is scheduled for twelve sold-out performances of her Broadway smash, "World's Largest Vagina Monologues."
"Hello. I'm Johnny Cash," said the dark phantom, but the woman with the world's largest vagina said she already knew who he was. Though she admits she was terrified, she says the darkly clad figure put her at ease with his words.
"He told me he understands," she explained. She says the spirit of Johnny Cash wanted her to know he "understood her pain," perhaps referring to her cocaine addiction, which allegedly re-emerged when she was thrust into the spotlight by spoof writers just a few short months ago. Cash's long personal struggle with addiction is well-documented.
She also revealed to reporters that Cash's specter promised her everything was "gonna be just fine" in his distinctively honest, bass-baritone voice. "He spoke with such authority, I just knew everything was going to be alright."
The Ghost Rider then prepared to take to the sky, touching the brim of his hat and giving the woman with the world's largest vagina a little nod. "And don't forget to Give My Love to Rose," he charged her. She says he then turned and disappeared, floating peacefully through the wall, humming the tune softly to himself and smiling a little.
