Swine Flu Jokes Fly At NYC Mayor's Speech On Subject

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

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Mayor Bloomberg's news conference on the flu Tuesday was interrupted by several sneezes and coughs - including one big coughing spell and grunting he faked.

The mayor was counseling against too much handshaking, even as he downplayed the threat.

"I thought about yesterday, how many people's hands I shook," he said. "Most of them Mexican...I haven't come down with ..."

He interrupted himself with a joke cough, smiled and apologized, as a real fart broke forth.

"From now on, no one is to hog the seating on buses and subways!" (squeals of laughter in background, either at the joke or fart.)

A remarkable number of reporters and staff at the City Hall news conference appeared to have sniffles or coughs.

"If you cough or sneeze - as somebody just did - cover your mouth," Bloomberg said when interrupted by one well-timed sneeze explosion.

"The main problem of course is congress as usual. They have nothing to do but pass laws filled with pork. It's a wonder they don't all come down with it."

Encouraged by applause and further snorts and squeals, the mayor went on to say, "They have nothing better to do down there in DC than to send a big airplane low over the city. (More squeals). If I had it to do all over again, I would have had the boys who put me in office shoot it down!" (Total silence)

"Just kidding folks! Hee hee..Well, I gotta go. Oink! Oink!....Congress" (More silence)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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