Rob Pattinson Spotted in Maternity Wear with Kristen Stewart!

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Monday, 21 September 2009

image for Rob Pattinson Spotted in Maternity Wear with Kristen Stewart!
Little Edward Cullen, played by a prosthetic belly attached to Rob Pattinson.

VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Today, for the first time ever, Robert Pattinson gave photographers a chance to snap some shots of him trying on maternity wear accompanied by gal pal Kristen Stewart!

"Guys can be so competitive," explained Stewart. "He's trying to one-up Taylor [Lautner]."

Due to major physical changes that occur in his character during the series, she said, Lautner was nearly replaced with a different actor for the twilight saga's second film, but he weight-trained excessively, gained 30 pounds, and kept the part.

Not to be outdone, said Stewart, Pattinson is trying to land a role as his own human mother, pregnant with himself, in a flashback sequence for the third film.

Sometimes described as "the next Jude Law," Pattinson has begun to get under the skin of his highly bankable British rival.

"I still AM Jude Law!" exclaimed Law. "The PRESENT Jude Law, you bloody wankers!

"He's not even going to get the part anyway - there's absolutely no way he's ever going to shave that stupid stubble off his face!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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