Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

image for Melissa Rivers and Her Mother Joan To Appear Nude In PlayAdult Magazine
Since appearing on "Celebrity Apprentice " Melissa Rivers has received 3,291 marriage proposals

NEW YORK CITY - In what is believed to be the first of its kind mens' magazine layout, Melissa Rivers, 41, and her mother Joan Rivers, 75, will be gracing the glossy pages of PlayAdult Men's Magazine in a mother/daughter photo shoot.

Melissa was asked by Aaron Frittata, the executive managing editor of PlayAdult if she would appear in a 10-page nude photo layout and interview.

Melissa who is still upset over being fired from Celebrity Apprentice by Donald Trump said that she would agree to appear in the magazine on the condition that her mother, Joan would appear as well.

Frittata who saw oodles and oodles of dollar signs quickly agreed to Melissa's request and signed mother and daughter to an unspecified amount.

Victoriano Tapioca founder and president of the Brooklyn- based financial firm of Guzzlehead, Tapioca, & Glickbonger who specialize in finding out exactly who is paying whom what revealed that PlayAdult is paying Melissa $1.7 million and it is paying Joan $900,000.

Hugh Hefner, of Playboy Magazine said that PlayAdult Magazine actually beat Playboy to the punch as he had made a similar offer to both Melissa and Joan.

Melissa who called both of her teammates Annie Duke and Brande Roderick ho's and pit vipers said that she accepted the offer to appear totally nude in PlayAdult because it is a way for her to get back her self-esteem, her self-worth, and her self-pride.

The younger Rivers also added that she wants everyone to see that her body is every bit as beautiful, gorgeous, and desirable as ex-Playboy playmate Brande Roderick's is.

The older Rivers stated that her reason for agreeing to be photographed completely naked is she wants to show America and the world that a 75-year-old woman can have cellulite, wrinkles, and spider veins and still look every bit as attractive, sexy, and alluring as a woman who is 25.

Joan has repeatedly called Brande a dumb stupid blonde and she has referred to Annie as cheap poker trash.

When told of the comments that Joan Rivers had made about her Brande replied that if Joan called her a dumb stupid blonde then Joan must be a dumb stupid old-as-the-hills blonde.

Annie meanwhile simply said that Joan is just all upset because she has had so many facelifts (19) that her belly button is now where her cleavage should be.

She went on to say that because of the 19 facelifts her nipples have now ended up just below her eyebrows.

Brande heard Annie and started laughing. After composing herself she remarked that the older Rivers single-handedly keeps the collagen companies in business.

The ex-Playboy playmate whispered that sadly Joan's bikini line has now ended up just below her mouth.

She said that it is so depressing to see a 75-year-old woman like Joan have to make an appointment with the dentist to have cellulite removed from her teeth.

Joan was told of Annie's and Brande's remarks and she replied, that both carnival sideshow rejects could kiss her yum-yum, her two ta-ta's, her three liver spots, and her four boo-boo's.

Melissa chimed in and said for her mother not to forget her third base tuck and Joan fired back that the third base tuck would be covered in the yum-yum kiss thank you.

In related news. The Fox Network is negotiating to sign Joan and Melissa Rivers and Annie Duke, and Brande Roderick to star in a reality show titled, "Hello Folks And Welcome To Hell!!!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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