Ice cream scientists the world over are asking some important questions, and getting few answers.
Sure, we can all agree that chocolate is a flavor … a sweet delicious manly flavor that never lets you down and keeps you craving for more – MORE godammit! I want that delicious brownness inside of me!
But is vanilla a flavor? Sure, there’s a taste, a smell, but it’s so weak … what man or woman or child truly loves it, or even likes it? Kids will tell you – they prefer flavored ice cream every time. Vanilla for them? Hell no! Waste of money! The kids feel they’re getting ripped off if they are “forced to have vanilla ‘cuz mommy says so and we ain’t got enough money for sprinkles.”
Sprinkles can sometimes make vanilla palatable, but chocolate doesn’t need a damn thing, girl! It’s ALL good all on its own, treats a lady right, goes down smooth, and keeps her loins warm all night long. And when she wakes up, chocolate is still there for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
So if you have a choice, NEVER choose vanilla. I know I may be getting some blowback from “vanilla lovers” – you know who you are! But I don’t care. Once I go chocolate, I wanna rock it all night long.
Crank the AC/DC and eat a nice big cone of brown, ladies … it’ll never let you down.
