Archaeological Dig in North Korea Finds No Wheel

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 19 February 2023

image for Archaeological Dig in North Korea Finds No Wheel
No Wheel Make Civilization Stooopid

A rare moment in archaeology has occurred in North Korea.

First, it was amazing that Kim Jong-Un even let in foreign scientists to study the prehistory of the top of the Korean peninsula, but then again, Kim’s dictatorship doesn’t exactly encourage a lot of people to become scientists, unless they can make weapons of mass destruction. The only kind of science that matters to a dic … tator.

They dug deep and found … nothing. No sign of a wheel. The North Koreans didn’t even invent the wheel? How in the hell can you develop any technology without … oh, right, the Chinese GAVE the North everything.

But Kim’s fascist ancestors couldn’t come up with the simple machine, although scientists did find a lot of evidence that the ancient Jong’s invented the noose, the cat ‘o nine tails, waterboarding, the Iron maiden, thumbscrews, electrocution (by static electricity, rubbing silk shoes on cotton mats), smacking a guy’s balls with a knotted rope, and being forced to listen to self-glorifying speeches that ran to 24 hours, minimum. Back then, they had no TV or film or net, so listening to the emperor talk endlessly was “entertainment”.

Wait a minute, this just coming in … sorry, that wasn’t North Korea, that was a mix of British and America “scientific engineering”, the North Koreans just stole most of it from them.

Our mistake, please do not think this is fake news. The news is there, you sometimes just have to piece it together to form some kind of truth.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot