Homo Sapiens to become self-impregnating transgender hermaphrodites

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 13 May 2023

image for Homo Sapiens to become self-impregnating transgender hermaphrodites
Is there no place for the Herms in God's modern Ark?

Genetic scientists have released surprising results about the future of human beings, and religious people are not happy.

Soon, in, say, 1,000 years or so, all Homo sapiens will be hermaphrodites capable of giving birth to their own babies. Transgender or even agender people will become the norm.

What is "male"? What is "female"? These questions will be laughably extinct from all tongues and dictionaries, even the ones being written right now, getting rid of certain words from the language. As Orwell instructs, if there's no word for it, then people can't think of it, and thus it no longer exists. Creationism is just that easy!

The religious hate the idea and keep repeating about Adam and Eve and Adam and Steve and how God made unto them female and male... but didn't mention anything about hermaphrodite animals, like the common worm... Did God make those too? Or is Satan responsible for worms?

Do you have worms in your body right now? How about single-celled amoeba, reproducing asexually? Did God or Satan make those?

Of course, any question that smacks too much of science is discounted by the religious (or let's just say it, Christian, though other religions may also hate worms) who do so by quoting their holy books... "It saith here in Thessalonians 21:12... God so loved the lowly ass... no sorry, wrong passage... blah blah, do as I say, not as I do... ah here it is..."

So we can all complain till we're blue in the face, but eventually, we're gonna be loving ourselves and then making excuses why we can't have a baby right now, and is abortion still legal, and I swear it's not you, baby, it's me... I just wouldn't make a good dad/mom... you understand, right?

A lot of tears and heartbreak, self-induced, in 1,000 years. Our grandkids can worry about all that sorrow... today is for hatred!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more