Another Fake Moon Landing for Another Corrupt President

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 4 April 2023

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Almost All the Categories Are Represented for Maximum Misdirection

What do you get if you take an African-American (his name is not Token, we swear), a woman (is she a lesbian? Make her a lesbian, STAT!), two white guys who have square jaws like Superman (and one of them is a Canadian, just like one of the creators of Superman) … and combine them with a corrupt American president being indicted with a possibility of him going to prison?

You get 1969!

Richard Nixon was a corrupt SOB who was guilty of B&E but who got lucky cuz of an American law known as the presidential pardon, which states “All shithead presidents will never go to jail because they’ll get pardoned by their vice-president, who then becomes president when the president is busy shitting his pants about going to prison, where he belongs.”

America wouldn’t be America if it didn’t advance its laws. So now Trump is the new and worse Nixon, with prison being a real possibility. And along with this, the American dollar is dying cuz China and Russia and lots of other countries are creating a new economy for themselves not reliant on the American dollar. (Bout time! Ugliest money in the world, all green and smelly)

But Americans, regardless of time period or political party, hate to see America demeaned, trashed, turned Third World … they’re always the ones to bad-mouth, stained, besmirch, deride, hate hate hate the Third World and anyone else they’ve decided to hate. They can’t hate themselves – it’s unAmerican!

So what to do? Take a note from the past and make it new. When Nixon was scared for his freedom, he was apparently sane enough to send Americans to the moon. Organization during disorganization? Can it happen here again? Another moon landing on the Artemis, the Hunter, will be happening soon and then we’ll all look again at America as sometimes a great notion.

Where is Kubrick? Stanley is dead, but luckily, CGI can do more than Stanley ever could, so perhaps James Cameron has been reeled in, along with the digital animators at Disney, to create a new moon landing with all new shadows where they’re supposed to be, better shots and camera angles, maybe even a cameo by Madonna or Neil Armstrong (is he dead? Did he have a son? Call your Hollywood agent – he knows how to make shit into gold) … and there will be NO MORE conspiracy theories, all you crazy people.

Just believe whatever the American government tells you and stop disagreeing! America doesn’t like when people argue with its version of the TRUTH!

I can’t wait to see the footage of the ‘moon landing’. Will there be dune buggies and golf clubs? How about a floating balloon of Trump? Maybe the astronauts (wait, where’s the Asian man or woman and the Native American man or woman – you’re missing out on a couple categories, NASA – why don’t we let Elon go to the moon with the cast of High School Musical, all the “types” are there … oh and a trans astronaut, forgot … so many categories, so much rocket to shoot them all high high high …)

Which is where I’m heading right now. Think they’ll smoke some doobies on the moon? Maybe take Elon’s space car for a spin? Ever watched “Heavy Metal” while high?

Do that instead of watching the next fake moon landing during the next fake American president getting his ass handed to him. It’s all about context, misdirection, fake history … is American history.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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