Lindsay Lohan's Next Diva Performance Act Will Be From Prison

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 24 September 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan's Next Diva Performance Act Will Be From Prison
L.A.'s Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women, aka Lindsay Lohan's home away from home. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

LOS ANGELES - It is as if spoiled little rich blonde girls Paris "No Brains" Hilton and Lindsay "No Brains" Lohan are running the Kentucky Derby and trying to see who can get to go to prison the most times.

Both bimbo blondes are perfect examples of what sweet little American girls do not want to grow up to be. Both Paris and Lindsay have all of the common sense and intelligence of a stale Hostess Twinkie.

Paris continuously breaks the law on purpose, knowing full well what she is doing and knowing that she will get away with it because of who and what her daddy is.

Lindsay, meanwhile breaks the law because her common sense detector button has just simply been turned off.

The two blonde celebs make sweet, naive, blonde country singer Kellie Pickler seem like a Harvard law graduate by comparison.

But at least Pickler doesn't go around doing anything that is illegal, immoral, or downright stupid, except of course for going on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader and thinking that Europe was a country and that France wasn't.

Kellie also honestly believed that a roadrunner is an insect found in Indiana and that the number 9, was invented in Japan.

SIDENOTE: When Lohan was asked what she will miss the most about being incarcerated and not having her freedom she paused for a few moments and then replied that she is not really sure but that she has pretty well narrowed it down to alcohol, her cell phone, and illegal substance abuse.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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