Written by matthatt

Friday, 24 September 2010

image for Aunty caught on CCTV dumping Chris Moyles.
I need more food money!

Radio One, breakfast morning Deejay, Chris Moyles is a cock!. Its true, his cheery good morning wake up call is akin to the 'cock-a-doodle-doo' of the farmyard bird, although his cheery morning alarm has become a little less chearsome of late due to him being a bit of a boorish oaf.

No surprise then, when a group of execs, representing the beeb, were caught on CCTV, disembarking from a big SUV people carrier type car thingy, opening the back door and letting Moyles out to run around a bit and get some air.

The six suited execs, who are on hand 24/7 to keep Moyles contained and away from the public for their own safety, took the lardy lad for his post radio show perambulation and cooked breakfast of deep fried lager sandwiches wrapped in the Sunday Sport.

While they had him out of the car, it could be seen on the CCTV footage that one by one, the execs drew back to the vehicle as they threw Moyles chew toy further and further away, each time, Moyles would haul his bloated carcass after the chew toy, shaped like a T-bone steak, and take longer each time to waddle slowly back to the waiting execs.

At this point on the footage, all but one of the execs are in the SUV, Moyles drops the slobber covered chew toy at the last execs feet, he lifts his jowly, puce muzzle, as if to sniff and nuzzle at the execs crotch but the exec launches the steak shaped toy, one last time, it hurtles through the air follow by the land bound lumbering lard bucket and the last exec slips nimbly into the back seat of the car just as it glides smoothly off, leaving behind a clearly non-plussed dumb creature.

No complaints have been made, the RSPCA aren't interested and fans of John Peel, the world over have rejoiced by singing 'ding dong the fat oafs gone'. Allegedly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Chris Moyles




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