Nostradamus Pavlov Kutcher Brittany Murphy Brittney Jones Brit Spears

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Friday, 24 September 2010

image for Nostradamus Pavlov Kutcher Brittany Murphy Brittney Jones Brit Spears

Nostradamus was born in France in 1503. He stared into a bowl of water to see his prophecies. He loved to bowl and stargaze. They didn't have automatic pin setup; they used Inquisition victims. Nostradamus predicted the three Antichrists, Napoleon, Hitler and the daily mentor of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi, Nostradamus' Third Antichrist. Now Nostradamus has been linked to famed American cougar prey Ashton Kutcher.

In Century 10 Quatrain 26, (all of his quatrains were written in code because the 300 year Inquisition was going on) Nostradamus wrote, "The successor shall avenge his brother in law, he shall occupy the kingdom in the name of vengeance. The hostage having been killed, he shall blame his kin for the death. For a long time Brittany shall stay loyal to France."

There is now a power struggle going on in Iran. Nostradamus' Third Antichrist Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi is the ventriloquist and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is his talking puppet. When you hear that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is fighting with Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei for more control over foreign policy, and control of the Kingdom of Iran, it is really a fight between Ayatollah Khamenei and Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi, best of five, like Wimbledon. Right now the dueling Ayatollahs are holding two American hikers hostage in Iran.

Before the Islamic Revolution in Iran Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi was the editor of a journal called "Revenge." Ashton Kutcher met Brittney Jones at the bowling alley where she slipped him her number on a napkin from the next lane. Nostradamus wrote, in code, "For a long time Brittany shall stay loyal to France." Do you see the word Brittany? Do you see the word loyal?

According to Brittney Jones, she went over to the house of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, at the time that Nostradamus' Third Antichrist was making his fourth nuclear bomb to trigger the Apocalypse and the return of the hidden Imam to conquer the world for Islam and Brittney Jones claims that Ashton Kutcher slipped her his John Boehner on the couch. On behalf of Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi, who wrote in his book that Iran has the right to nuclear weapons, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says that Iran has documentary evidence that the United States of America is conspiring to prevent the return of the Hidden Imam. Yesterday the CIA divulged that they have documentary evidence that Iran is conspiring to prevent the return of Woody Woodpecker.

Brittany Murphy starred in Clueless, Sin City and King of the Hill. Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy co starred in Just Married. Ashton Kutcher began bowling with Brittany Murphy in 2002. Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, the inventor of 'le raison d'etre' was born on Sept. 14, 1849 in Ryazan, Russia. Like Dr. Nostradamus, Ivan Pavlov was also a Nobel Prize winning doctor and a psychologist.

In 1901 Dr. Pavlov discovered the "conditioned reflex." Dr. Pavlov would ring a bell before feeding his dog 'Barky'. Because of this, anytime that Barky heard a bell he began to salivate. When Ashton Kutcher hears the word 'Brittany', 'Brittney' or 'Britney', he begins to salivate. Yesterday Demi Moore asked Hillary Clinton how to deal with this problem. Today Star Magazine announced that John Boehner had his name changed to John Boener and Demi Moore had her name changed to Britney Vuvuzela Moore.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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