Neil Armstrong finally "tops Moon Landing feeling": Exclusive interview

Written by alexc

Friday, 24 September 2010

image for Neil Armstrong finally "tops Moon Landing feeling": Exclusive interview
Armstrong. About to raise a middle finger toward the Earth.

Astronaut Neil Armstrong has revealed that finally, after 41 years of waiting, he has topped that incredible moon landing feeling.

In a heartfelt interview, Armstrong spoke at length of the joyous moment on July 20, 1969 when he ushered in anew era of progress for mankind and the inevitable painful and bitter disappointments that followed as he attempted to adjust lo life back on earth.

He confessed there were times when he felt completely weighed down by the pressures his new found fame brought him, although he later conceded the weighty feeling could also have been caused by his re-introduction to gravitational forces.

Attempts to build a new life proved fruitless and left him feeling listless and depressed. Despite excelling in everything he tried, the expectations people had of Neil Armstrong, inevitably led them to be let down by his all-too-human qualities. He became acutely accustomed to the phrase "yeah, its good, but not as good as the time you ushered in the new era of progress for mankind".

But a smile returned to his face as he recalled the moment that surpassed even the euphoria of that first lunar step.

"I was talking to a friend in a bar, sinking neat whiskey in an attempt to forget my hellish existence when he broke down in tears recounting his own personal misfortunes" he said "I didn't know what was happening at first but I felt a warm, joyous feeling pulsing through my veins".

Armstrong was experiencing what the Germans called "Schadenfreude" but, not hailing from a Germanic culture, he hadn't yet discovered the blissful pleasures of laughing at the misfortunes of others.

"Since then my life has changed completely" he continued "I've discovered the central joys of life are not found on the Moon but in our workplaces, our social clubs, our hospitals - other people's failures have truly given me a reason to live".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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