James Madison: Is He The Man We Think He Is?

Written by Snickerdoodle M. B.

Friday, 24 September 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for James Madison: Is He The Man We Think He Is?
James Madison is on the $50, $500, and $5000 dollar bill. But maybe we should consider Obama instead.

It's been historically proven that James Madison is a homosexual.

Historian I. Lovetosuckpenis has found records in the parchment where everything that happened during the Constitutional Convention is recorded that James Madison frequently left the Convention with his fly down, and when his chair was carefully observed under a black light, large white splatters appeared.

"We think he was jacking off in his seat during the Convention," says Lovetosuckpenis of Madison.

She and her group of historians also found a journal in the drawer of the nightstand of the bedroom of one of Madison's friends, one of which the entries reads:

My dear Annabeth left for the night when I heard a knocking at the door.

At eight o'clock! So I opened it, and who should it be but my good friend James.

We had a cup of tea, when he asked if we could discuss the convention with me in my bedroom, so we went in, and talked for a while.

Then, suddenly, without me knowing until it was too late, he leaned over and kissed me passionately on the lips.

On instinct, I kissed back.

But it was wrong! But I kissed back, so he undressed the two of us, and we made intercourse until four in the morning.

I felt terrible about it.

But it was too late now.

Lovetosuckpenis also says that Madison kept a dream journal, full of wet dreams involving Benjamin Franklin.

And I leaned over onto Ben, and entered his rear.

He smiled, and kissed me.

Semen came out of our penises, and I orally pleasured him.

His little moans and whimpers kept me there.

I bobbed my head up and down.

He released into my face.

Then we switched.

I shoved my willie onto his mouth and pumped.

He leaned his head back and let go of my frank.

He tentatively swirled his tongue around the tip of the penis, and then I just flung myself into his rear end crack again, thrusting in and out until he shoved me off and started to thrust inside me.

By the time we were done, our bed looked like it had experienced a white Christmas.

Then Ben and I kissed and sucked at each other's mouths until dawn.

Lovetosuckpenis and her crew, Fu Ckmeplease, Ima Pussysucker and Lookatmy Breasts all agree that James Madison was a homosexual.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more