Written by Herr Riballs

Friday, 24 September 2010

Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles has launched a scathing on-air attack on the BBC after it emerged he has not been paid for two months.

The motormouth presenter seethed "I'm only earning 40 grand a month as it is. How do they expect me to live on that? Would you drag your ass out of bed for that sort of money?" He raged.

However, insiders have suggested that the non payment of wages is more to do with Mr Moyles's lack of talent. It was hoped that he would not notice.

Fellow celebrities and sports stars have added their support after it was revealed that Moyles, who weighs nearly 20 stones and wears 42 inch waist trousers, was not paid following a computer glitch.

Footballer Yaya Toure said "I really feel for Moylesy. I get paid 3 times that and I don't have to get up at 5 every morning. It must be really tough getting up so early and only getting 10 grand a week. My heart goes out to him."

Telly babe, Christine Bleakley, agreed "It's not just the early starts. Working three hours a day really upsets the body clock and finishing work at 9 in the morning makes it a long day. I envy factory workers working from 7am til 7pm, so I do."

Friends are said to be rallying together with Irish rocker Bono planning to help raise money for the cash strapped star in a series of 'Help For DJ's' charity concerts.

A tearful Moyles added "I simply can't afford to live and have had to dip into my £460,000 savings just to make ends meet. I've left the heating off to try and save a bit of money. I've even had to cut back on my food shop and only eat six pies a day now."

Pals of the stricken star are said to be concerned about his health after it was revealed he has shed half a pound in weight. He was pictured recently looking a gaunt 19 stones 13 and a half pounds.

A senior BBC spokesperson described their former employees 25 minute rant as the longest resignation in history.

But the source said "We sacked Mr Moyles on amicable terms. We would like to thank him for his past services and wish him well in his new career at Floors 2 Go."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Chris Moyles




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