Woman Sues State of Florida, Wants to Marry Her Dog

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Friday, 24 September 2010

Judy Shriver of Clearwater Florida sued the state of Florida to allow her to marry her dog Rover, who has been her partner for the last five years.

Judy Shriver is not alone in her quest to legalize marriage between people and animals. She has received over ten thousand letters so far offering her donations to cover her legal costs as well as words of encouragement.

This is her story.

Why I cannot marry my partner of five years is totally unconstitutional. Heterosexual people can get married. The state of Florida just allowed homosexuals to marry. Why can't Rover and I get married? Just because Rover is a dog should not make a difference.

I don't consider Rover a dog, I consider him my soul mate, my best friend and my lover. Boy, and what a lover he is. He is, also, extremely intelligent. We have wonderful conversations. He does not speak English or any other language, he speaks doggy talk, which is actually a very sophisticated language.

Why, just this morning, I asked my boogie, boogie, boo what he wanted for breakfast and he said:

"I want to boink you"

At lunch time I asked my boogie, boogie, boo, boo if he wanted to go for a ride and see Aunt Clara and he said:

"I want to boink you."

We went to the carnival and I asked my boogie, boogie, boo, boo, boo if he wanted to go on a ride and he said:

"I want to boink you."

When asked how he felt about getting married to Judy, Rover replied:

"I want to boink you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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