The worlds most advanced nuclear-powered submarine, the ironically named HMS Astute, has run aground off the coast of Scotchlandshire, the Ministry of Defence confirmed due to a perfectly working Satnav.
Apparently, they typed in the postcode of an Aldi, the only shop MoD personnel are allowed to use since the austerity cuts, and the submarine took the stricken sailors the wrong way.
'It all seemed ok at first' Said seaman Stains, the leader of the intrepid crew 'We just left the supermarket, did a left up the high Street and we even managed to get the submarine under the low bridge, it all went tits up as soon as we got the damn thing into the water"
