Written by Sidney Bollocks

Friday, 22 October 2010

image for Ann Widdecombe takes to the air on Strictly

In a desperate last ditch attempt to win over the judges, Ann Widdecombe and her partner were hoping to perform a daring aerial routine during their last dance. The idea behind this was to try to recreate the flying pig routine, which Pink Floyd used so successfully during their gigs in the late 1980s.

However, all did not go to plan during rehearsals and the routine may now have to be revised. An insider told us that all was going well, until they actually got Widdecombe airborne. This was achieved with a 70 ton crane, which was brought in from a nearby construction site. Widdecombe was harnessed and then lifted to a height of 50 feet. The insider went on to say that it was at that point that the shit really hit the fan, as air traffic control at Heathrow picked her up on radar and activated a UFO response plan.

Once a UFO sighting had been declared, the RAF scrambled fighters from several bases, which then proceeded to open fire on Widdecombe with sidewinder missiles and cannon.

Widdecombe's appearance on the show has been postponed. Meanwhile, she is being treated for shock and one or two cuts and bruises.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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