Nooks Arrive at Wal-Mart; Greeters Panic

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Friday, 22 October 2010

image for Nooks Arrive at Wal-Mart; Greeters Panic
What has technology wrought?

Nooks, Barnes & Noble's electronic readers, will be available for sale at 2500 Wal-Mart stores beginning Sunday. As they started arriving in the stores today, Nooks expected enthusiastic greetings. Not so.

In many locations, they were sadly disappointed, as Wal-Mart greeters (most of a certain age), mistaking them for trouble with a capital T, did not greet them with open arms. In some cases, violence erupted.

In one location in Arkansas, for example, Sadie Simpson, a 95-year-old Wal-Mart greeter, panicking when she saw dozens of the little Nooks marching into the store, shouted "Call the police! We're being invaded!" While one greeter called the police, others grabbed some "weapons" from the produce section and began pelting the poor little Nooks with huge, juicy oranges.

Several other greeters, frozen with fear, huddled in a group and commiserated with each other. Some were convinced that the Nooks were actually electronic listening devices being sent in by the government or Tea Party advocates. 98-year-old greeter, Herbert Hughes, was heard to complain, "Where, oh where, is Bill O'Reilly when you need him? He's supposed to be taking care of THE FOLKS."

Several of the greeters were taken to the hospital with heart palpitations. A few of the Nooks were slightly injured in the melee but did not require hospitalization. Spokesperson Nora Nook, dunked in orange juice and tiny pieces of orange pulp, said, "We know that some folks prefer print books to electronic ones. But still, we never expected this kind of a reception. It's an outrage!"

More to come on the Nook invasion of Wal-Mart. Stay tuned.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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