Oxymoron Society Updates List for 2010

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 22 October 2010

image for Oxymoron Society Updates List for 2010
The Jumbo Shrimp gets some new company this year

Adding to approved oxymoronically focused phrases which have included commonly used terms like, Metal Woods, Jumbo Shrimp, and Military Intelligence, the International Oxymoron Society has updated its list for 2010.

New additions to the IOS oxymoron list include some terms that are tied directly to recent societal changes and the world economy. Obvious choices for 2010 include terms like "Comfortable Lingerie", which most women, and some men who also choose to wear role play clothing will tell you, that it isn't comfortable at all. "Friends with Benefits" was another term to make the list for 2010 and the Director of the IOS, Rufus Brightley, tells us why. "It used to be a safe and comfortable relationship term, but now it typically means the sharing of benefits like Herpes, Crabs, and Gonorrhea. I don't call that much of a benefit, and it sometimes burns like hell too".

Other winning terms include, "Stimulating Political Conversation" which we assumed was a shoe in, and "Free Market Economy" which Brightley says was a tough nominee that required significant deliberation before acceptance. "Most agreed that the original term was meant to be positive for the country claiming to engage in the practice, but now most agree that it can be pretty damn expensive, definitely not free", says Brightley.

Other new oxymoron entries include, "Personal Computing", which has turned out to be anything but personal given the amount of personal information gathered from the consumer each time they use their personal computing device. Finally, "Mel Gibson" was added to the oxymoron list with an explanation from Brightley. "That was a tough one, but given Mel's former image of hunky but sensitive and funny life partner, we now know him to be a bigoted, profane woman abuser", said Brightley. At least he and his father are still religious men.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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