The whole will he-won't he saga was a gag, after all.
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney today shocked the entire universe by signing a five-year contract with the club.
The move came at the end of a week during which he had publicly said he wanted to leave.
Speculation has been rife throughout nature's creation as to which club he would join... Barcelona, Manchester City, Portsmouth...
But it emerged today that the whole affair was just a hoax.
"Wayne just fancied a laff," said a Rooney camp insider.
"Everyone's heard of the famous scouse wit. Well, he were jus' messin' wit yer.
"He were fed up wit all the crap going on - all the stuff about his ankle and 'is missus. So he jus' decided to string you all along.
"It were great though, weren't it though?
"'E's a reall laff dat Wayne."
