There were 1,379 spoof news stories published in May 2010. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
US teenagers too 'fat to fight'
Two retired generals, John Shalikashvili and Hugh Shelton, have said that overweight American teenagers are the greatest threat to the nation's future security. "Some of our kids are so fat their only military use would be as something to roll dow...
Read full storyTaylor Swift arrested for "Over exposure" says Nashville coppers
NASHVILLE TN (ABSNN) - Country music songbird, Taylor Swift, 19, was arrested by members of the Country Music Hall of Shame this afternoon, taken in by the Nashville cops, for the crime of "Over exposure," sources say. Often called the hardest wor...
Read full storyJon Gosselin's New Girlfriend Ellen Ross Proclaims - "It's Not The Penis Size That Counts, It's The Penis Size"
READING, Pennsylvania - Well, well, well. It appears that Jon "Little Jon" Gosselin has found himself a brand new girlfriend. She is 23-year-old Harrisburg native Ellen Ross. Ross says that she likes Jon because he looks just like an oriental Brad...
Read full storyRodent Attends Obama's Press Conference in the Rose Garden
President Obama's address on financial reform was a major White House media event on Thursday. In addition to the usual attendees, there was one extra guest. Wearing eyeglasses and toting a tiny briefcase in its mouth, a rodent occupied a place of i...
Read full storyNick Jonas Deals With Fact That He Was Adopted
Nick Jonas, youngest of the three singers in the group The Jonas Brothers, although there is a younger son, told the press yesterday that he is doing pretty well with finding out that he was adopted. "Since I looked just like the other guys, it re...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Still Alive, Pretending To Be Dave Cameron
Michael Jackson is sensationally still alive. We can reveal that he is pretending to be his old friend 'Dave' Cameron. Observers have noted Cameron's rather high pitched vocal delivery and the fact that he is being followed around by a monkey called...
Read full storyAn Audience With Michael Buble Singing Like A Dalek
Viewers who tuned in to ITV's An Audience With Michael Buble were astounded tonight when the Canadian crooner opened his mouth and emitted sounds normally associated with a synthesiser. His usual dulcet tones were transformed into an electronic buzz...
Read full storyMan Files Defamation Lawsuit After Receiving Libelous Fortune Cookie at Chinese Restaurant
Samuel Guthry was dining with friends at a Chinese restaurant in Gooseberry, Kentucky when an otherwise perfect evening suddenly turned into the most humiliating moment of Guthry's life. "We were going around the table reading our fortune cookies,...
Read full storyVictoria's Secret Model Replaces Megan Fox In "Transformers 3"
Since Meagan Fox was last heard calling producer Michael Bay "Hitler", it was assumed that a new actress would appear in "Transformers 3" but no one expected it to be someone who has never acted before in her life. Well, not in a movie. Rosie H...
Read full storyMiddlesbrough man competes to enter Book of World Records for stinkiest feet
'Spud' Wilkinson, of Thorntree, Middlesbrough, is hoping to be in the Book of World Records soon as 'the man with the World's Stinkiest Feet. Spud's wife 'Daisy' wrote to the Panel of Judges regarding Spud's smelly appendages in the hope's that he...
Read full storyMan with world's biggest arsehole shits penguin sized turd
A man from the Netherlands was relieved today after battling for 48 hours to crap out a turd the size of an adult King Penguin. Hans Van Flloyd Hasslebank is renowned throughout Holland for having a back passage big enough to take a Eurostar trai...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Nick Jonas Spotted At A Nude Beach In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Selena Gomez and her BFF Nick Jonas were recently seen walking along the shoreline of one of Mexico's most famous nude beaches, La Playa de Los Players. And although most of the 300 people that were on the beach were compl...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Argue In A Pedicure Salon
SOHO - The world's lovebirds have sort of turned into a couple of raving ravens. Rob and Kristen stopped in to each get a pedicure at The Yo Yo Girlfriend You Want We Make Your Pretty Feets To Look Dainty Like Girl Feet Should Be Salon. As Kriste...
Read full storyThe 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar Has Just Become Great Britain's Biggest Selling Calendar of All Time
LONDON - The Bloomin' British Babes Calendar Company which is based in Bristol has just reported that its 2010 Girls Aloud Nude Calendar has just surpassed sales of the previous number one calendar which was Cheryl Cole's 2010 nude calendar named Che...
Read full storyRussell Crowe as Robin Hood is payback for Mick Jagger as Ned Kelly
Australian actor Russell Crowe admitted today that he was persuaded to take the role of iconic English character Robin Hood after being shown the 1970 film 'Ned Kelly' starring Mick Jagger as the legendary Australian. Although Crowe was born in Ne...
Read full storyThe Ku Klux Klan Has Said They Are Moving Their Home Office To Arizona
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea, Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz has just announced that the Ku Klux Klan is moving their headquarters from Tuscaloosa, Alaba...
Read full storyMan Bitten in Dog Park, By Another Man!
Westchester, New York . . . When police were called to the local dog park to deal with a bite, they assumed that a dog had done the biting. No way! Man's best friends were totally innocent. Believe it or not, it was a man who had bitten another ma...
Read full storyThe Real Reason Joe Jonas Dumped Demi Lovato
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - There has been a lot of speculation as to why Joe Jonas dumped Demi Lovato. Some say that it was because she sings better than him. Others say it's because she is prettier than him. And still others say that it is because she has ma...
Read full storyVera Baker: "I Know Exactly Where Barack Obama's Birth Certificate Is"
SAN FRANCISCO - Vera Baker's hair stylist, Gigi Van Pansy (a male), has stated that the former senatorial campaign financial manager for Barack Obama confessed to him that she knows exactly where the president's much sought after birth certificate is...
Read full storySelena Gomez Caught Flirting With Liam Hemsworth At A Tacos "R" Us
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Selena Gomez who recently revealed that she had a crush on Liam Hemsworth, one of the stars of The Last Song, was caught flirting with the Australian star at a Tacos "R" Us in West Hollywood. Hemsworth who has been linked with Las...
Read full storyiPad Gets More Attention at the Louvre than Mona Lisa
The global launch of the Apple iPad on Friday was a major event. In Paris, early crowds to buy the iPad at the Carrousel du Louvre shopping center in the museum complex outnumbered the people waiting in line to see Leonardo da Vinci's famous paintin...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Had Tourettes Until She Was, Sh*t! 13!
"I thought someone would dig it out sooner or later", stated Kristen Stewart Friday after her appearance on Oprah Thursday. "So I thought I'd go ahead and tell the story myself before some idiot got half of it right and screwed it all up." After...
Read full storyThe Elisabeth Hasselbeck - Erin Andrews Feud Turns Ugly!
HOLLYWOOD - Barbara Walters of The View did her best to try and diffuse the big verbal feud between fellow View host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Dancing With The Stars castoff, Erin Andrews. Hasselbeck, the somewhat prettier version of GOPrincess Ann...
Read full storyThe New Miley Cyrus Video "Can't Be Tamed" Banned in Utah, Massachusetts, and Portugal
LOS ANGELES - The brand new highly erotic Miley Cyrus video "Can't Be Tamed" has been prohibited from being shown in Utah, Massachusetts, and Portugal. The two American states and European country have all passed proclamations prohibiting the vide...
Read full storyCarmella Bing to act as Tomb Raider
The very "healthy" and agile porn star, Carmella Bing is all set to portray the image of the ever adventurous, and sexy Lara Croft. The news comes in after our very own AJ felt too old for the role. Considering she (AJ) has been travelling al...
Read full storyBanksy' Ancestor Faked 'The Turin Shroud'
Iconic graffiti artist, Banksy has astounded the world by revealing that his great, great, great, great, great grandfather, Giovanni de Banco, a 16th century Italian painter was responsible for making The Turin Shroud - probably the number one wonder...
Read full storyMirren, Deneuve, Loren on Most Beautiful List, Cosmetics Industry Notices
When Wizard Jeans recently produced its annual list (prepared by fashion expert Sally Allen) of the 10 Most Beautiful Women in the World, there wasn't a twenty-something woman on it. And young wannabes were startled to see that Helen Mirren, 64, Cat...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Is So Into Cory Monteith She Wrote A Song About Him - "Cory Cory The Kissing Guy From Glee"
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - Taylor Swift has always written songs about guys who have passed through her life. She wrote "Joey Joey You're My Favorite Toy Toy" about Joseph of the Jonas Brothers. And she wrote "Hey, What A Coincidence My Name's Tay...
Read full storyThe Turin Shroud Sparks Row Between Morris Dancers And The Illuminati
It all seems to be going a bit bonkers in Turin, home of the Shroud, Juventus, Torino, Fiat and Silvio Berlusconi. Or was that Milan? Anyway, there's been a right bit of argy-bargy between the Illuminati - the enlightened ones who really rule t...
Read full storyFriend Defends Rekers: "It Makes Sense to Hire a Gay Hooker to Carry Your Luggage"
George Rekers was accompanied on a 10-day trip to Europe by a gay male prostitute. Rekers, a Baptist minister and board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, has denied having a sexual relationship with the...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Nick Jonas To Travel To Iceland By Ship For The Get Iceland Back on Her Frozen Feet Again Telethon
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas are getting ready to travel to Iceland to participate in a "Get Iceland Back On Her Frozen Feet Telethon." Gomez and Jonas will be traveling to Iceland aboard the Mexican battleship the MS Montezuma's...
Read full storySpoof writer Lynton swears Turin Shroud cadaver 'has an erection'
Cyberspace - (Jesus Wept): A Spoof writers' discussion about the Pope bowing before the Turin Shroud on Sunday has descended into chaos. Theories that the shroud depicts the corpse of Jacques de Molay - last Grand Master of the Knights Templar - a...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie's Teeth Bucked Again
Although she's a beautiful lady, Angelina Jolies's teeth get bucked every six months or so and she has had six surgeries to have this corrected. Jolie admitted that it started while she was married to Billy Bobbing Thorton. "It was OK until t...
Read full storyNow 43, Justin Bieber Reflects on Life & Career
Rolling Stone, April 24, 2037 -- The spring air was crisp, but pleasant outside of Justin Bieber's unlikely summer home located out on the swamps of Louisiana. "I enjoy this time of year," the Stratford, Ontario, native says, "because the weather...
Read full storyCameraman Fired over Closeup of Siobhan Magnus' Whoo-Hoo
Los Angeles, CA - Last night's American Idol Finale wasn't without controversy. In fact, not long after the show started, the first of many "live" glitches occurred, and because of it, a cameraman lost his job. If you blinked, you probably mis...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Says He Has A Crush On Kelly Clarkson - "I Like Older Women With Meat On Their Bones"
LOS ANGELES - Teen singing sensation Justin Bieber was in Los Angeles appearing on several local morning shows when he was asked if he had seen the American Idol finale show. He answered that he had. He was asked who he had picked to win. He said...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Defends Her Grinding Lap Dance By Saying, "Hey People, I Had Shorts On"
LOS ANGELES - Miley Cyrus was having a pedicure at The Rice Paddy of Vietnam Pedicure Palace when she was asked about the incident at the 'wrap party' for her movie The Last Song. Miley asked if the reference was to the film's makeup artist Bubble...
Read full storyKinky Friedman Reveals Story Behind Song Lyrics
Kinky Friedman has finally given the inspiration behind his hit single "Asshole From El Paso." Friedman, who ran unsuccessfully for Governor of the Lone Star State, said that "I guess everyone knows that my song is a take off on I'm Proud to Be and Okie From Muskogee. Well, I really did know an Asshole From El Paso, and I thought that I would be like Weird Al Yankovic and change around the lyr...
Read full storyForeskinheads angered over public Lesbian nude ballet
HARDIN KY (ABSNN) -- Bill Pilant, Grand Wizard Deluxe of the Hardin White Supremist Foreskinheads, LLC, led a group of sixty like-minded dickheads in a march to protest public Lesbian nude ballet which they termed "just a bunch of really ugly, fat ch...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: Carrie Ann Inaba Says She Is Cheryl Burke's Mother
HOLLYWOOD - After being told that the International Inquirer was going to print an exposé showing that Dancing With The Stars' judge Carrie Ann Inaba is the biological mother of DWTS professional dancer Cheryl Burke, Inaba decided to reveal the truth...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Says She Loves Derek Hough Cause The Lad Tickles Her Fancy
LONDON - A lot of Cheryl Cole's closest friends say that they have not seen Chezza happier than she's been the last few days. And they all attribute it to her American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough. Hough flew into Heathrow Airport from...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Nearly Ruins Her Dad's Career & Her Own
After all the fallout recently of Miley Cyrus dancing like a stripper on a TV special and the recent video release of her rubbing her butt into a 45-year-old male's crotch when she was 16, her dad Billy Ray stated this morning that she did much worse...
Read full storyThe United States Is Sending The Aircraft Carrier USS Condoleezza Rice Towards Korean Waters
DOVER, Delaware - President Obama was speaking before the annual Delaware Punch Distributors Convention when he was asked about the developing military situation between North Korea and South Korea. The president joked and said, "Now lemy get dis...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars' Derek Hough Flies To Great Britain and Puts The (Dance) Moves on Cheryl Cole
LONDON - Derek Hough and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger captured the Dancing With The Stars coveted Mirror Ball Trophy and within 48 hours "Dancing Derek" flew to London to capture Chezza Cole's heart (again). The two lovebirds had nested in Los...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson marries Kristen Stewart on Isle of Naboombu
In news that is likely to shock the world and destroy the sweet-young-dreams of many a schoolgirl, chunk of hunk Robert Pattinson and Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart, were today secretly married. The ceremony was completed on the magical Isle of Nab...
Read full storyPresident Obama Replies To Charges of Infidelity With Vera Baker By Saying, "Say What Fa Shizzle My Nizzle?"
BEAVER, Oklahoma - President Barack Obama had just delivered his speech to The Oklahoma Sooner or Later League of Farm Dwellers when he was asked a somewhat embarrassing question. The president responded to a question about the alleged rumor curre...
Read full storyNaked Greed! Fergie Exposed Shagging for Money to Pay Mounting Bills!
The Duchess of York, once shown topless with a lover sucking her toes, went "all the way' this time with with her latest 'Naked Video' showing off her insatiable greed as she allegedly offered to sell access to the Royal Family, and primarily to he...
Read full storyDead Player Signed By Liverpool
A dead footballer has been signed by Liverpool FC. Croatian soccer star Goran Tunjic has been signed to replace Jose Torres, who is on his way to Chelsea. Tunjic was recently booked for dying on the pitch. This follows a new FIFA ruling regarding...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Demi Lovato Say That The Louisiana Tar Balls Will End Up In Massachusetts
BOSTON - Two teenage singing sensations Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato were in Boston attending a Brenda Song concert. After the concert the two went to Brenda's dressing room where they helped her celebrate another sold-out concert. The three gi...
Read full storyTimes Square Crowds Treated to Kindle-toting Preacher
Yep, there he was -- with a long beard and a flowing, white robe -- standing on a makeshift platform, shouting to the crowd a litany of Biblical verses about hell, damnation, and repentance. But he wasn't reading from a printed Bible yesterday. No...
Read full storyKindles Overworked, May Go Out on Strike
Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, are not happy campers. They are disgusted that Amazon has announced a new software update for the Kindle, providing many more services. "Lots more work for the exact same pay," Head Kindle Hedda complained...
Read full storyJesse James Says He Cheated On Sandra Bullock Because of Twinkies
LONG BEACH, California - Jesse "Dipstick" James says that he still thinks that his wife Sandra Bullock will find it in her heart of hearts to take him back. [CUE THE LAUGH MACHINE] James speaking while sitting on one of his 17 motorcycles in hi...
Read full storyNew Jersey to Host 2014 Super Bowl, Soprano Stars Rejoice
"I made them an offer they couldn't refuse," boasted Tony Soprano, when it was announced by the National Football League on Tuesday that the 2014 Super Bowl would indeed be held at the New Meadowlands Stadium in NJ. Fortunately, folks who will...
Read full storyLee DeWyze Crowned The 2010 American Idol Winner!
HOLLYWOOD - The Nokia Theater was filled to capacity, in fact the people in the balcony were sitting two to a seat, which is legal in California. The American Idol Finale Show ran for 2 hours and 7 minutes. It had 87 commercials, three tons of con...
Read full storyThe Chinese Claim They Found Noah's Ark
Many are in doubt of the accuracy of the Lynn intelligence test which claims that Asians are the most intelligent people on this earth when a group of Chinese Christians held a news conference to announce they were 99.9 percent sure they had found No...
Read full storyAussie Football with No Gay Rules - Jason Akermanis tells Players to stay in the Closet
Outspoken Aussie Football League, (AFL), player Jason Akermanis seems to be homophobic - urging gay players to stay in the closet because the game isn't ready for "them". The Aussie Rules star says it would be unsafe and it could make other player...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus and Justin Bieber Go Out For A Bite
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Two of the most popular teens in America were spotted having dinner together at Shanghai Sally's Sushi Diner in West Hollywood. Miley was wearing a cheerleaders outfit and Justin walked in with a hula hoop around his waist. When a...
Read full storyKara DioGuardi Slips into Depression after Casey James Leaves Idol
Los Angeles, CA - Casey James was finally voted off American Idol, leaving Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox as the two singers going into the final round. Casey, looking incredibly vulnerable and sad, took the mike one last time and sang an encore of...
Read full storyStephen Griffiths arrest: Yorkshire Ripper slams 'amateurish' Bradford murder suspect
HMP Broadmoor - (Slashers): The Yorkshire Ripper today poured scorn on the 'Bradford Ripper' moniker following the arrest of suspected serial killer Stephen Griffiths. Peter Sutcliffe is said to be livid at the dilution of the 'Ripper' brand which...
Read full storyThe Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas Relationship Is Really Heating Up
VENICE BEACH, California - Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas were spotted sunbathing at Venice Beach. Demi was wearing a pink bikini swimsuit with the initials J.J. on the back and Joe was wearing boxer shorts with the initials B.V.D. on the back of his.
Read full storyTransformers 3 Signs Two More Victoria's Secret Models
Apparent producer Michael Bay thinks he's onto a good thing in replacing Megan Fox with a Victoria's Secret model (Rosie Hunting-Whitely) and has apparently signed two more models to appear in Transformers 3. A source stated that Bay had received...
Read full storyDolly Parton Found Floating "tits up" and Plucked From Raging Nashville River!
Country Music Fans and Mammary Mavens breathed a sigh of relief today when the Coast Guard announced they had plucked Music Legend Dolly Parton from a partially submerged double wide where she had been clinging to the trailer hitch for the past 24 ho...
Read full storyRoger Hargreaves' Mr Men books not to be translated
The children's classic books the Mr Men and Little Misses are not to be translated into French, after it transpired that the names were not suitable for children. Mr Bump, an innocent sounding name in English, translates as Msr Tamponner in French...
Read full storySelena Gomez Says She Wants To Give Liam Hemsworth A Lap Dance
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - Selena Gomez flew to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon before President Obama totally shuts down the state with his upcoming mandated state-wide ban. Selena was asked what she thinks about Arizona's Immigration Bill. She rolle...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent: Liam McNally's Version of "Danny Boy" A Big Hit With The Audience and Judges
LONDON - The star of the latest edition of Britain's Got Talent is a 14-year-old student named Liam McNally. Little Liam thrilled the crowd with his amazing rendition of "Danny Boy." Liam said that he usually sings the song while accompanying hims...
Read full storyDancing With The Star's Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Erin Andrews Are Doing More Than Just Dancing
HOUSTON - The runners-up on Dancing With The Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Erin Andrews appeared on the Houston morning TV show, Howdy Y'all Hiya Doin'? Maksim was asked by the show's co-host Bonnie Candlebox how it felt to come in second to Nico...
Read full storyGraham Dott loses snooker final after falling asleep
Snooker hotshot Graham Dott handed last nights epic World snooker final to Neil Robertson after falling asleep at what experts could only describe as "way past his bedtime". The final took an exciting twist when TV cameras picked up Dott's eyes start...
Read full storySpencer Pratt Dumps Heidi Montag - Says The Smell of Plastic Just Got To Damn Strong
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Spencer Pratt has confessed that he could no longer stand to be in the same room with his wife Heidi Montag, alias "The Plastic Woman." Pratt, 26, revealed that the smell of plastic just got to strong for him to take. He explaine...
Read full storySimon Cowell Relieved Ian Bernardo Derailed Dane Cook Awful Tribute
Los Angeles, CA - Simon Cowell has said publicly that he was thankful beyond words to Ian Bernardo, a past American Idol reject, for grabbing the microphone from in front of Comedian Dane Cook and shouting "this is my Kanye West moment." "Thank Go...
Read full storyDid Selena Gomez Really Go Dogging With Stan Collymore?
My source, eccentric English film producer/director, Buffty Ginslinger, was telling anyone who cared to listen to him in a Soho watering hole that Disney actress/singer Selena Gomez spent the greater part of last night out dogging with ex-footballer...
Read full storyLady Gaga - "I love the rumor that I have a penis"
In a recent interview, Lady Gaga admitted she just loves the rumors that she has a penis (hmm okay). Despite clearing up speculation as to whether or not she's a man or woman, she (Lady Gaga) says the rumors keep erecting (LOL). But the tough stuf...
Read full storyHonolulu to be renamed Honoruru by request of Japanese Tourist Community
In these trying times, residents of Honolulu, Hawaii are doing everything they can to attract more tourists-including changing the town's name. "As a Japanese tourist, I find it difficult to say Honolulu and I am so happy about the name change. N...
Read full storyBrittany Murphy Dies From Pneumonia Overdose
Brittany Murphy has faded back into pop culture by fatally overdosing on prescription pneumonia. The 32 year old bubbly actress, brought to fame by appearing in such films as The Prophecy II and an episode of Blossom, collapsed in the shower of h...
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 2010 Calendar Hits The Stores
DALLAS - A spokesperson for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has just informed the sports media that the brand new 2010 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Calendar has hit the new stands and book stores. The 12 monthly photos were taken by noted naked cal...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's attorney in gunshot suicide mystery
Encino Hills - (Propofool): The Jackson family is devastated: legal minefields of Dr Conrad Murray's manslaughter indictment and some 'excruciatingly complex' probate secrets surrounding the late singer's estate have just turned very complicated.
Read full storyGirls Aloud split; Cheryl Cole to join Black Eyed Peas
All-girls group Girls Aloud have today announced they have decided to go their separate ways. In what has been described in various media outlets as a "break up", the band members are said to be each branching out to pursue their own various interest...
Read full storyBong-Sucking Newcomer Replaces Talentless Meathole in Transformers 3
Megan Fox's Transformers 3 character, Jennifers Body, will be replaced by pompously named Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, a 23-year-old Brit who gets her aristocratic-sounding name from her great-great-grandfather, Sir Herbert Huntington-Whiteley, 1st Ear...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Denies That She Is Dating Justin Bieber
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian has stated that she wants it known that she is not currently, nor has she ever dated Justin Bieber. Kardashian said that the rumor started when the two were at The White House Correspondent's Dinner, and someone sa...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Performs On American Idol - Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson Says He Was A Little Pitchy
HOLLYWOOD - The young Canadian singing sensation Justin Bieber performed on the latest edition of American Idol. The popular 16-year-old who many consider to be The Prince of YouTube, sang a song that was written especially for him by Clay Aiken.
Read full storyKindles Shop for Father's Day for Daddy, Jeff Bezos
Jeff Bezos, Amazon's founder and CEO, is a lucky man. Father of Amazon's Kindle (regarded by many as the world's foremost electronic reader), he'll be getting lots of presents from his "kids" on June 20. A group of Kindles was spotted Saturday in...
Read full storyThe San Antonio Spurs Trade Tim Duncan To The Dallas Mavericks For Dirk Nowitzki
SAN ANTONIO - San Antonio Spurs owner Peter Holt stated that he hated to trade one of the best players to ever wear the silver and black but he says he just got tired of watching Timmy miss free throw after free throw. Holt said that when he first...
Read full storySue Barker is now the World's oldest Woman
One of Britain's finest ever female tennis players and friend of Cliff today learned of the news that she was now the World's oldest woman. Sue Barker celebrated her 114th birthday last month by taking on Andy Murray at Wimbledon's Centre Court an...
Read full storyM.I.A. Ginger Genocide Vid Banned
A music video by M.I.A. which shows some ginger haired people being rounded up by cops, shot, set on fire and forced to walk across a minefield has been banned by top website You Tube for breaching regulations regarding pornographic/violent content.
Read full storySex And The City 2 - The Video Game review
If you've ever had the urge to be a woman in her 40's who has everything but still wants more then you should probably be seeking out some kind of therapy. Unless of course you are a 40 something woman, in which case you still should be seeking out some kind of therapy. However, for those who still want to live out this bizarre fantasy then thanks to the team who bought you Grand Theft Auto you...
Read full storyGreek joke and other Greek things banned due to financial crisis
In an attempt to shore up the Greek economy, get things back on track, undertake blue-sky thinking and use shed-loads of other meaningless clichés invented by overpaid and underworked consultants, Greek finance minister, Ack Ropolis, has acted swiftl...
Read full storyBradford mineral water company 'faces ruin' amid Stephen Griffiths furor
Bradford, Yorks - (Slashers): A bottled water business faces liquidation amid reports extraction from local springs is tainted. Seepage from the now notorious River Aire has resulted in unexpected 'organic ingredients' surfacing at the company's p...
Read full storyRamen Noodle Ingredient Added To Periodic Table
Members of the Food and Drug Administration, along with members of the scientific community, have concluded that the main ingredient in Ramen Noodles is not to be found anywhere on the periodic table of the elements. "Not only is it not anywhere o...
Read full storyTiny Penis Owners Lobby For Button Mushroom Penis Day
A loose alliance of various groups of men with small penises are to come together under the umbrella name of the 'Knights With Small Swords' in order to lobby Westminster for a special day of celebration in honour of people of their own ilk. It is...
Read full storyLesbians Having Sex In Church Affects Collection Takings
Two Lesbians have been forced out of an Anglican Church because their continued sexual activity was hitting the collection takings. St Muff's in Much Licking, Dorset, has banned the two Lesbians after a series of incidents. The pair were caught be...
Read full storyStephen Hawking's Basement Raided, Rare Historic Artifacts Found
Acting on an anonymous tip, British police raided well-known physicist, Stephen Hawking's basement, where it is reported that they found some incredible historical artifacts from various periods in history. Included with the artifacts was an urn whic...
Read full storyRonan Keating leaves his wife to concentrate on his Boyzone
There's the born again Christian tattooed one, the shit Coronation Street actor one, the dead gay one, and the other one. Then there's the Ronan Keating one. Slightly balding, slightly boring and now slightly bending... perhaps? After 12 years of...
Read full storyCelebrity Apprentice: Trump Fires Curtis Stone, Maria Kanellis, and Sharon "Sniffles" Osbourne
NEW YORK CITY - Apparently the Producers of the reality show Celebrity Apprentice have informed Mr. Donald Trump that he needs to hurry up and get the show's season wrapped up. Instead of firing one celebrity, El Trumpster reared back and fired a...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Alleged Gay Companion in Hiding
The self-confessed lover of Michael Jackson says he is hiding out following death threats by Michael Jackson's fans. Jason Pfeiffer says some of the threats are gruesome and graphic and have him scared for his life. Jackson's dermatologist, Dr.
Read full storyCrossbow Cannibal 'obsessed' with Hannibal Lecter actor Anthony Hopkins
Yorkshire - (Slashers): Bradford's 'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths may have been obsessed with Silence of the Lambs star Anthony Hopkins whom he is said to resemble facially. A police search of the suspected murderer's seedy bedsit has found...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth Hospital Record Of Near-Death Surfaces
Although it was all the way back to April 7th over a month ago, both Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth apparently had a near-death experience that is just now being reported. As any good reporter will tell you, paying off people in service like a ho...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Autopsy Photos Worth $5 Million Held By Police
Hitting all the Hollywood news sites today was a report that there were many photographs taken of the autopsy of Michael Jackson that the Los Angeles Police Department are holding unto and that tabloids are bidding up the price for them to be release...
Read full storyTiger Woods And Elin In Fierce Battle Over Their Kids
"Elin has no right to take them away from me all the time", Tiger Woods reportedly told his golfing practice buddy, Sunday. "She'll constantly leave them with nannies while she goes on skiing trips." Not taking this sitting down, Elin was telling...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson To Kristen: For Pete's Sake, He's An Old Man!
The jealousy bug has hit Robert Pattinson recently as he is very upset with co-star and girlfriend, Kristen Stewart. "I guess it was bound to happen after the shooting began on this last Twilight", stated one cameraman. "It's about using the chara...
Read full storyIlluminati In The Dark Over Mind Control Allegations
In an amazing development, two representatives of the highly secret organisation known as the Illuminati rolled up at the office of Skoob News requesting that we publish a disclaimer on their behalf, as they feel they are being portrayed unfairly by...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: The Gaytalian Judge Bruno Tonioli Gets Excited and Uses The "F" Word!
HOLLYWOOD - The Dancing With The Stars semi-finals show went off without a hitch, except for the sidesaddle riding judge from Italy Bruno "La Eff Word" Tonioli. Yes, Brunito, as he is known in gay bars throughout Sicily, Sardinia, and Staten Islan...
Read full storyZac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner To Star in "The Louisiana Tar Balls"
LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for Lionsdoor Pictures has just announced that Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner have been signed to star in the Benigo Luigi Montemarciano oil mess thriller Louisiana Tar Balls. The film takes place righ...
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