Stephen Griffiths arrest: Yorkshire Ripper slams 'amateurish' Bradford murder suspect

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 27 May 2010


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From the scene of the crime in Bradford today

HMP Broadmoor - (Slashers): The Yorkshire Ripper today poured scorn on the 'Bradford Ripper' moniker following the arrest of suspected serial killer Stephen Griffiths.

Peter Sutcliffe is said to be livid at the dilution of the 'Ripper' brand which he reckons is unique to himself and Victorian Whitechapel role model Jack the Ripper.

Sutcliffe's tally of 13 murders is said to be way superior to Griffiths' score of three - although a police statement this afternoon said other murder victims may be added to Griffiths' current charge sheet.

The Yorkshire Ripper's unique perversity is also another issue; in 2003 a true crime book claimed his use of gratuitous and bizarre clothing during his seven year rampage of Yorkshire red light districts 'made him the most twisted Mr Nasty ever'.

This kinky proclivity included the wearing of a V-neck sweater under his trousers, whose sleeves had been pulled over the legs leaving his genitals exposed in the V-neck area.

Padded leather elbow patches completed the weird sartorial getup in what cops said may have been a classic animal skin fetish.

Today's arrest news comes as detectives piece together thje morbid deaths of prostitutes whose various body parts were found dumped in the River Aire.

A statement update is expected this evening.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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