Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 3 May 2010

image for Vera Baker: "I Know Exactly Where Barack Obama's Birth Certificate Is"
Hillary Clinton pointing out exactly how big Senator John Edward's pecker actually is. (Photo courtesy of Michelle Obama)

SAN FRANCISCO - Vera Baker's hair stylist, Gigi Van Pansy (a male), has stated that the former senatorial campaign financial manager for Barack Obama confessed to him that she knows exactly where the president's much sought after birth certificate is.

Gigi said that Baker told him that her and Obama have known each other ever since the two met at a basketball gym in Chicago and played three games of 'Horse' of which Baker won two.

Vera said that the president was very good when it came to making lay ups, but she grinned, winked, and said that Barry, as she called him, was a pitiful dribbler who literally double dribbled all over the place.

She noted that the Prez told her that she had a great vertical jump, an excellent drive to the hoop, and two of the sexiest pair of tata's that he had ever seen, other than Michelle's two droopers of course.

Baker accepted the compliments and responded by saying that she had noticed that as the game went on he gave her three flagrant falls all across her downward hanging jungle jugs. After the third flagrant foul she noticed a slight increase in the bulge of his Nike shorts.

She mentioned it to him and remarked that Brobama, as she also calls him, turned red, or more accurately purple, and told her that he gave her complete credit for his in-the-shorts 'woodism.'

Vera confided to Gigi that Obama had told her exactly where he had hidden his birth certificate. She noted that after Obama had put away six bottles of beer he whispered that he had given his birth certificate to Vice-President Joe Biden and that Joey had placed it in a Hannah Montana coloring book in the basement of his Delaware home.

In other news. Country singer and husband stealing home wrecker LeAnn Rimes has flat out denied that she is not now, nor has she ever been one of Jesse James Cycle Chick sluts. Hmmm.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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