Written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 8 May 2010

image for Times Square Crowds Treated to Kindle-toting Preacher
Repent! That's an order from the Kindle.

Yep, there he was -- with a long beard and a flowing, white robe -- standing on a makeshift platform, shouting to the crowd a litany of Biblical verses about hell, damnation, and repentance. But he wasn't reading from a printed Bible yesterday. No siree, he was reading from a Kindle! Amazon's electronic reader is scaling new heights, the heavenly world of religion.

"It was almost as shocking as last week's bomb scare," said one astonished female tourist. "I mean, to think that a little piece of whatever contains all that fire and brimstone. Pretty cool!"

Another tourist, a man munching on a hot dog, had mixed feelings about the show: "I dunno, you look at this 10-oz. electronic gizmo and it just doesn't have the same authority as a worn and tattered Bible that has been handed down through the ages. Y'know?"

A gum-chewing, tattooed teenager, dressed in cutoffs and a 'Ban the Bomb' T-shirt was unimpressed. He told a reporter, "What's the big deal? It's the same old Biblical claptrap, dressed up in a new package. Who cares?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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