Sex And The City 2 - The Video Game review

Written by Bill Licks

Monday, 31 May 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Sex And The City 2 - The Video Game review
Samantha takes it easy in SATC2

If you've ever had the urge to be a woman in her 40's who has everything but still wants more then you should probably be seeking out some kind of therapy. Unless of course you are a 40 something woman, in which case you still should be seeking out some kind of therapy.

However, for those who still want to live out this bizarre fantasy then thanks to the team who bought you Grand Theft Auto you can now fulfil your dream in a video game version of Sex And The City 2.

Waking up in a luxury penthouse apartment in Manhattan, you take the role of Carrie Bradshaw as she is about to have another personal crisis of some sort. The object of the game is to find happiness and accept yourself for what you are - not what New York's top plastic surgeon can make you, but you must complete a number of challenging missions along the way in order to achieve your ultimate goal.

You begin the game by throwing back the covers on your bed and stumbling across your room towards your balcony overlooking the Manhattan skyline. This sounds a lot easier to do than it actually is, as you spent the previous evening downing several Champagne Bellinis until 3 in the morning so doing any kind of activity at all is a real challenge. Once this task is achieved you are awarded with a prize which can be in the form of a pair of shoes, a new nose or a well hung young mailman who has a huge package just for you. The prize you choose is very important as to how the game continues. For example, choosing the shoes option means you will be happy for the next five minutes but you still find yourself married to a complete slob who you stalked for several years, so you will have to then buy another pair of shoes or a handbag just to be able to cope with your empty unfulfilling life.

Whatever option you decide on, you will eventually meet up with your three friends who have stuck by you for the last 20 years. You can interact with these characters in any way you choose and again how you interact could impact how much happiness you ultimately find. If you are sat in a wine bar with Samantha and her attention moves away from you to a well hung young barman you could choose to light up a cigarette and gaze into the distance contemplating how crap your life is, or you can flick a pretzel at her to see if you can make a dent in her botox pumped forehead. Or if the ginger haired one is in the back of a cab with you on the way to some party full of gay men you can either have a conversation about the size of you husbands cock or talk about the state of her vagina after she gave birth.

So the game continues and along the way you can unlock several trophies that give you the chance to make your shoe cupboard bigger or give you the power to have x-ray vision and find out which young stud has the biggest cock in Manhattan. You can also find trophies that let you play the game again as one of the other lead characters including Samantha, the ginger one and the other one or even Carrie's long suffering husband, Mr Big.

Online play allows multiplayer options including the customary 'deathmatch' mode in which you can take on other Carrie Bradshaws in getting your new best gay friends to make cutting remarks about each other, the loser being the first one to phone his therapist.

At around 20 hours of game play, it equals the length of the running time of the Sex and The City 2 film itself. But whereas you can do nothing about changing the sheer awfulness of the film at least you can alter the outcome of the game. For example, taking the role of Mr Big you have the option to finish the game in just 5 minutes by battering Carrie Bradshaw to death with the heel of her latest pair of Manolos as soon as she walks out of her bedroom.

And for that option alone this game gets a rating of 9.5 out of 10.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more