South Korea Responds To North Korea's Ass Kicking Threat By Saying "Bring It On Bitch!"
SEOUL, South Korea - The South Korean leader Lee Myung-Bak has responded to North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il's threat of kicking SK's ass by saying "Bring it on bitch!" Myung-Bak who is usually a quiet, laid-back type of leader said that if North...Read full story
Diego Maradona bets on a modeling career
The Argentine coach Diego Maradona has laid out his plans for a successful modeling career. He recently promised in a radio interview that he will run naked through the center of Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the Soccer World Cup. If Argentina e...Read full story
Elton John Performance In Morocco Brings Outcries Against Homosexuality
"A concert by Elton John in Morocco is testing the limits of the country's struggle for modernity, probing this Muslim nation's complex attitudes toward homosexuality like no time before", according to the Daily Moron. Outcries of "Paddle His Ass...Read full story
Mariah Carey Apparently Wearing Hubby Out Over Attempting To Become A Mom!
According to tabloid reports Mariah Carey has secretly began fertility treatments in a bid to become a mom at 40. We have been told the same thing and that that is why she's has gotten..well, HUGE! "If you see Mariah out there now, you'll see w...Read full story
Are you an Arse 'n al?
So, Arsenal players have proved to be just as greedy as many others. They could have 'kept it down a bit' for the sake of their fans instead of 'chanting out' for their bonuses after the game - words which echoed down the tunnels. It's rumoured that rather than go and meet with fans after the big win, they ran to grab their cheques and ducked out of a side door, ignoring the thousands waiting...Read full story
Man infected with PC computer virus
A man has become infected by a PC computer virus after inadvertently opening a rogue email attachment. The man is being held in a secure quarantine "vault" in Mountain View, California, where he is said to be in the care of the world's best anti-v...Read full story
SuBo fanatics apologise!
The new owners of the Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies favourite meeting place today sensationally apologised to everyone they ever banned! In a shock statement the new head chief fanatic said "We're really sorry to the hundreds of inn...Read full story
Obama Vows to Kick Lobbyists Out of Washington Offices; Plans on Turning K Street into a Giant Dunk Tank
Washington, DC - Today, President Barack Obama took one of his strongest stands to date against the corporate interests dogging his efforts to bring true change to America. Not only is he planning on issuing a mandate that sends all the corporate lob...Read full story
BP and NASA Join Forces to Launch Global Oil Observatory - GOO
Kennedy Space Center, Florida - BP and NASA announced today that a new mission to monitor deep sea oil spills to aid in the forecast of coastal pollution along the Gulf Coast will be launched as soon as practical. The Global Oil Observatory, GOO...Read full story
Katie Price To Take Up Mud Wrestling
A hitherto thoroughly unreliable news source contacted Skoob News today, claiming that occasionally bad-tempered and much loathed celeb bap-flasher Katie Price has been taking mud wrestling lessons. It's widely thought that if the unsubstantiated...Read full story
Dancing With The Star's Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Erin Andrews Are Doing More Than Just Dancing
HOUSTON - The runners-up on Dancing With The Stars, Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Erin Andrews appeared on the Houston morning TV show, Howdy Y'all Hiya Doin'? Maksim was asked by the show's co-host Bonnie Candlebox how it felt to come in second to Nico...Read full story
SuBo, Jordan And Paris Hilton 'A Waste Of Time And Brain Cells' Says Jagged One
A leading international satirist, known by the nom de plume Jagged One, who resides under a bridge in Old Amsterdam has today controversially slammed the whole celebrity culture trend by stating publicly that SuBo, Jordan and Paris Hilton are a waste...Read full story
Jean Paul Gaultier designs Serena Williams' "Vive La Republique" very sexy knickers!
After wearing her sensational flesh coloured knickers in Melbourne and giving heart-attacks to OAP male tennis fans all over the planet, Serena Williams has asked top designer, Jean Paul Gaultier, to design her a set of knickers for the French Open.Read full story
South Korea promise to "nuke" North Korea off the planet!
South Korea have been given some sound diplomatic advice by Hilary Clinton, "nuke North Korea off of the planet!" Arriving in Seoul in Obamas jet, Hilary was in no mood for "peeing" around with those "slit-eyed" morons north of the border and afte...Read full story
Ozzie Ozbourne Stomps Through the Tulips
Ozzie's latest release digs up twelve old, and not so old, songs and magically transforms them into something new and uniquely Ozzie. The title song, 'Tiptoe through the Tulips', is in name only as Ozzie has replaced his own lyrics that start with,...Read full story
Is Will.R.Us on the cards, now Cheryl Cole has asked for a quickie?
The relationship between Cheryl Cole and her mentor Will.I.Am seems to have developed over recent months, and there was speculation today that this may have prompted her to file for a quick divorce from estranged husband Ashley. Will.I.Am, of Blac...Read full story
Texas Rewrites Nursery Rhymes for Daycare Centers
Austin, TX - Following the heels of the recent changes to Texas' history and social studies textbooks for school-age children, Texas educators are taking the idea one step further and re-working some favorite nursery rhymes for toddlers to be taught...Read full story
Government introduces new drink driving laws
The new coalition government, the first coalition government since the war in case you didn't know, has outlined radical changes to the drink driving laws amid tumultuous scenes in the commons. Official government spokespeople have issued the followi...Read full story
World's First Obedient Cat Stuns Scientists
Providence, RI - Sir Wiggims, the 12-pound Persian who belongs to Sherry and Gordon Foster is not any ordinary house cat. In fact, most who see him in action wonder if he is indeed a dog in cat's clothing. That's because Wiggims behaves nothing like...Read full story
North Korea Says It Is Ready To Kick South Korea's Ass
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korean leader Kim Yong Il, he of the most famous hairdo since the two "Don's" Don King and Donald Trump, has issued a strict warning to North Korea's little sister South Korea. Kim Yong Il said that he is tired of he...Read full story
President Obama Says He Has Decided To Turn The Grand Canyon Into A Sanitary Landfill
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama was having breakfast at the White House's Millard Fillmore Commemorative Breakfast Room with President Nacho Winslow of Mexico, President Johnny Gomez of Spain, and President Joey Maracas of Portugal when he was ask...Read full story
Cameron and Osborne to star in remake of The Tich And Quackers Show
London - (Puppet On A String): The charity fundraiser will also see Prince Charles offered the chance to play drunken sot Lord Charles in a movie sequel to the 1966 children's smash-hit TV show. The role of ventriloquist Ray Alan, the show's creat...Read full story
Yankee Stadium Bans iPads, Maxi-Pads, and Pantiliners
NEW YORK CITY - In a move aimed at showing the fans that the New York Yankee management still runs the show, executives have come out with a rather unique directive. Effective immediately the New York Yankee Organization has issued a ban on the br...Read full story
The Jones' Swap Homes...
Interesting news has reached the spoof desk regarding a home swap. Mr Jonas Jones and Mrs Joan Jones have agreed to swap the homes that each one of them owns. Jonas Jones resides in South Wales and Joan Jones has her home in Spain. Jonas Jo...Read full story
Self Confessed Bludger - Rick Astley Wants To Comeback - Oh No!
God help us, the 80's beat machine singer, Rick Astley wants to make a comeback, but are we ready for it. Rick, remember that redhead nice boy with the funny dance? Your forgiven if you can't as its been nearly 20 years after he quit the music industry - cynical, exhausted and fed up with fame he has decided to have another crack at the big time. Oh brother! He looks old, wrinkled and crinkly.Read full story
'Human Fish' found in China has some Scientists puzzled
An extremely unusual fish was caught in a net by Chinese Fishermen at the weekend. This fish has hands that can 'grip' and tiny feet which allow it to actually walk as well as a huge gaping mouth. At first it was thought that this strange 'fish...Read full story
Nancy Grace Makes Life Altering Decision; Chooses Wispy Bangs
Made famous for her aggressive interviews and football helmet hair style, Nancy Grace, following months of collaborative research and test audience feedback, has chosen to modify her coif and soften her bangs so that they look a bit more "wispy".Read full story
Sir Elton Does Morocco - Despite His Bitch Lip About Jesus Being Gay
Sir Elton John gave homophobic protesters in Morocco the piano finger after protests by Islamists who tried to prevent Sir John's appearance, claiming the openly gay singer would offend public morals. Sir Elton came underfire with his bitch lip c...Read full story
Chinese organised crime in Bulgarian cellphone numerology shocker!
Sofia, Bulgaria - (Spooky Mess): Bulgarian telecom giant (sic) Mob-I-Tell has suspended a 'cherished' cellphone number following complaints that every owner/user in the last decade has died in horrible circumstances. The much prized 0888 888 888 d...Read full story
Giant Plumes of Bullshit Found Forming around BP Headquarters
WASHINGTON D.C.- Scientists are finding enormous bullshit plumes around BP Headquarters located in London, England, including one as large as 10 miles long, 3 miles wide and 300 feet thick in spots. The discovery is fresh evidence that the leak f...Read full story
Large Apps factory to hire hundreds
Marion Georgia - "It may not completely solve the recession but it's a step in the right direction". Edward Davidson of Thulehart Development said today announcing the ground breaking of a new 200,000 square foot Apps factory to be located in Marion...Read full story
Illegal Oil Collectors could be prosecuted!
WASHINGTON D.C. - It was announced today that people caught collecting oil off the Gulf coast, could be prosecuted in a tough crackdown on pirates. BP is siphoning 5,000 barrels a day from the well head and skimming another 5 to 10 thousand off th...Read full story
President Obama unveils plan to save the Earth
Charlottesville, VA. - Today at commencement ceremonies at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, VA., President Obama unveiled his new plan to save the Earth. Reading from a prepared statement the President said that all of us are aware...Read full story
Britney Spears Wants To Do It With Robbie Williams
Show off Britney Spears has admitted that she want to get it on with Robbie, in the studio that is and make sweet, sweet music together. I'm sure their off spring would sound as gorgeous as they both look, and if you're like me, you'd die to be a...Read full story
Why No Sane, Rational Person Would Want To Be President.
You know why? Cause it is like being a school bus driver to some mega huge bus the size of the Titanic, driving down the tiny, pot-hole ridden, muddy, cliff strewn roads of Colombia. Picture it, trying to keep that bastard on the small road, while there are bratty children yelling at you from all across the spectrum of opinions about your job. All telling you that you are doing a piss-poor job...Read full story
Thanks Mary Shelley, For Giving Us Frankenstein, And A Reason To Fear Science!
It is all science's fault! It seems so easy, such a nice scapegoat for all the problems in the world. If we just go back to how things were before science, things would be so much better, sure life spans would decrease dramatically, but things would still be better. Ever since Mary Shelley gave us the infamous story of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, we all naturally fear those strange pe...Read full story
Nicole Scherzinger, The Pussycat Doll, Named The 2010 Dancing With The Stars Champion
HOLLYWOOD - Nicole Scherzinger, 31, won the 10th season of Dancing With The Stars. The producers put out a pretty good DWTS Finale except for one thing. What in the world of dance dipping was Kate Gosselin doing on the show. Goodness sakes alive,...Read full story
The United States Is Sending The Aircraft Carrier USS Condoleezza Rice Towards Korean Waters
DOVER, Delaware - President Obama was speaking before the annual Delaware Punch Distributors Convention when he was asked about the developing military situation between North Korea and South Korea. The president joked and said, "Now lemy get dis...Read full story
New Jersey to Host 2014 Super Bowl, Soprano Stars Rejoice
"I made them an offer they couldn't refuse," boasted Tony Soprano, when it was announced by the National Football League on Tuesday that the 2014 Super Bowl would indeed be held at the New Meadowlands Stadium in NJ. Fortunately, folks who will...Read full story
Federer and Nadal Hope Paris Won't be Boring
Paris, Illinois - Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal have never shared a lot in common over the years,except for several tense meetings on the hard, grass and clay courts. But recently Paris Hilton stunned the tennis world by once again stating that sh...Read full story
Dutch Police Raid Convent in Search of Benedictine Condom King
Acting on an anonymous tip, the Dutch Secret Police raided the Carmelite Convent of Saint Amelie with the expectation of rescuing Rameses Trojani. The billionaire creator of the Benedict XVI Condoms has been missing for over a day and foul play is s...Read full story
Rare Full Color 3-D Virgin Mary Sighting Confounds Experts
Albuquerque, New Mexico -- Experts from around the world have descended to a modest home in Albuquerque for a first-hand peek at what many are calling the greatest Virgin Mary sighting ever. Angela, the owner of the home, says she spotted the Holy...Read full story