Written by Albert-racer-X

Sunday, 2 May 2010

image for The Chinese Claim They Found Noah's Ark
"I have to tell Aunt Lin we found the Ark!"

Many are in doubt of the accuracy of the Lynn intelligence test which claims that Asians are the most intelligent people on this earth when a group of Chinese Christians held a news conference to announce they were 99.9 percent sure they had found Noah's Ark.

Scholars argue that Chinese people aren't able to use reason and logic to understand that it's impossible for an Ark to hold every animal in the world that is paired with a mate. The Ark would have to be the size of South America for even the remote possibility of fitting so many animals into it. Also, there would have to be room to fit over 45 billion tons of food and fresh water to feed all those animals. The outside water would be contaminated with salt. There would also have to be over 25 million tons of extra food to feed 15 million cattle which would be used to feed the carnivores on the Ark. Finally, there would have to be room to fit over 34 million people in the Ark to attend that many animals. Food and water would also be needed for those people.

It's also impossible for an Ark the size of South America to land on a mountain because there is not enough flat land to hold it in place, and it would slide down the mountain killing all the animals inside the Ark not to mention the 34 million people.

Another problem that exists is getting the animals off mountain Ararat with temperatures below zero. Each animal would have to be clothed heavenly which means an additional 46 tons of material in an already over burdened Ark. Heavy animals like elephants would slip off the mountain to their doom and giraffes would get froze bite on their ears, nose and feet.

The wood beams to create such an enormous Ark would have to be as thick as 3 miles wide and 234 miles long to hold together the Ark. Regular wood beams are not strong enough to support an enormous structure that can hold all the animals in the world.

Even if the Ark would have been small then you run into the problem of genetic inbreeding of the animals and the possibility most of them would fall prey to extinction. The Ark would have to hold 50 pairs of each animal and that would increase the weight of the small Ark and the difficulties of bringing them down a treacherous mountain such as Mount Ararat.

Most likely, the claim is false, but that won't stop politicians and the judiciary from believing the Ark is really there - the boat the Bible says was built by righteous men before a "sinful" human race drowned in the Great Flood.

Court judge Jarvis Dinardo said, "The catastrophic flood on Earth is referred in many ancient cultures: in Sumerian, Babylonian, Greek, Hindu, Gallic, Scandinavian and Chinese legends. Some even predate the Old Testament."

Tim Kluck, a university professor of archaeology said, "To this date it hasn't been explained where all the water went that would be high enough to reach Mount Ararat. If all the glaciers around the world would melt at the same time there still would not be enough water to fill the earth to that level."

The Chinese Christians have been showing pictures and film footage to followers of their faith in their homeland.

After reviewing the pictures, Yu Lin, a Chinese philosopher said that is why he is convinced something is up there on Mt. Ararat. He was shaking his finger with watery eyes filled with anticipation. He says there have been hundreds of accounts from eyewitnesses saying they saw what looked like a big pirate ship.

Some of those accounts, he says, are from pilots who flew over the area during World War II. Considerable amounts of military data and ground-penetrating imaging have reported showing a shape of something manmade on the mountain but they don't know if it's the latrine build by Turkish guides who take people up the mountains to search for the Ark every year.

Yu believes the Ark is the Ararat anomaly which has a shape and size equal to an Ark. "The boat-shaped Ararat anomaly and Noah's Ark both have a 6-to-1 length-to-width ratio," he says.

Some experts don't believe it's the anomaly because the size is too small to hold enough animals to populate the earth successfully.

Experts have concluded from examining the photos that the images are of rock formations that strongly resemble the boat described in Genesis.

Whatever it is, it convinces Yu, and countless others, to keep returning on perilous trips to Mt. Ararat, hoping to find the illusive Ark.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Chinese, Noah's Ark

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