A loose alliance of various groups of men with small penises are to come together under the umbrella name of the 'Knights With Small Swords' in order to lobby Westminster for a special day of celebration in honour of people of their own ilk.
It is thought that they are lobbying for 'Button Mushroom Penis Day' and not as some other reports suggest, 'August Wank Holiday'
A spokesman for The Knights With Small Swords, who we are told resides in the Portsmouth area explained that men who are 'peckerly challenged' are every bit as valued as any Big Banana Boy or Cucumber Kid, and added that men with tiny penises were under-represented in the media, and often ridiculed by their better endowed peers in the showers.
And frequently mocked in massage parlours, as Thai massage girls line up to have a good titter.
"We're sick and tired of all the well endowed blokes they show in the adult movies," the spokesman said. "Not severybody is hung like a horse. So we're campaigning for a National Button Mushroom Penis Day, so all of our stumpy brothers can join in, and maybe even some women. They don't all enjoy getting painfully stretched by a huge throbbing serpent."
Penis Stimulation expert, M Francois DuBois SJ of West - By God - Virginia in the Americas told us:
"I think it's a great idea. A celebration of microscopic cocks. I nearly pissed my shorts when I first heard about it."
More as we get it. Only smaller.
