Brittany Murphy Dies From Pneumonia Overdose

Funny story written by Vondrook

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

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Brittany Murphy has faded back into pop culture by fatally overdosing on prescription pneumonia.

The 32 year old bubbly actress, brought to fame by appearing in such films as The Prophecy II and an episode of Blossom, collapsed in the shower of her Los Angeles home in December, leaving Hollywood scratching their heads as to the cause.

The coroner's report finally released last week stated that Murphy overdosed on prescription pneumonia, which led to cardiac arrest.

"I'm just shocked," said Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, "I had no idea that Britt was abusing this virus." He took a deep sigh and said, "You think you know somebody…"

The coroner's report also found that half of a bottle of prescription pneumonia was found beside the bathroom sink, the rest of the viral drug found in Murphy's lungs. The doctor who had prescribed Murphy with the pills refused comment, and is now under investigation for medical malpractice.

Upon hearing the reasons behind Brittany's death, celebrities have offered a helping hand to Murphy's fans. "Pneumonia addiction is a terrible thing," stated Matthew Perry, who battled his own pneumonia demons in 1997. "I battled with that virus for years before finally succumbing to the fact that I needed help. I'm just sorry Brittany could not be reached in time."

Other celebrities raising pneumonia awareness include Chevy Chase, who became addicted to the same virus for decades to help him cope with his numerous falls and follies in film and television. "Pneumonia addiction is no longer a vacation," he stated, "It's a quest. It's a quest for help. I got help, and you're gonna get help."

The most notable pneumonia addict speaking out on the subject is conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh, who was busted in 2003 for illegally obtaining a shipment of pneumonia. "She [Murphy] was weak-minded to be addicted to such a thing," he proclaimed on his radio show last week. "That [prescription] is only meant for people with back pain issues, not to help someone get through a downhill movie career. She ought to be ashamed of her dead self."

Hopefully, if any good comes out of this sad turn of events, it will be that people who are addicted to the virus will seek help. Those of you who wish to seek help battling their pneumonia addiction are recommended to check themselves into their nearest hospital, otherwise, you're just…clueless.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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