Crossbow Cannibal 'obsessed' with Hannibal Lecter actor Anthony Hopkins

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 29 May 2010

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Griffiths is currently in Wakefield Jail remand wing

Yorkshire - (Slashers): Bradford's 'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths may have been obsessed with Silence of the Lambs star Anthony Hopkins whom he is said to resemble facially.

A police search of the suspected murderer's seedy bedsit has found masses of pictures of Hannibal Lecter, the movie's lunatic ex-psychiatrist and cannibalistic serial killer.

And in a stunning twist today police frogmen trawling Bradford University septic tanks have stumbled on a major clue.

Graffiti scrawled in the criminology department men's loos - where the self-styled 'Crossbow Cannibal' was a mature (sic) student - says 'Stephen Griffiths = Frightens Pet Fish'.

"This is a chilling parallel to the anagram motif in Silence of the Lambs movie," West Yorks Police Commander Boggis told reporters this afternoon.

Other graffiti, found in a fume cupboard in the criminology department's science labs, states 'Hannibal Lecter = Enchant Liberal'.

Cryptologists have said they believe may be a direct reference to the Tory-Glib Dem coalition.

Later this afternoon a gay bar in downtown Allerton was raided following reports a copycat cop-taunter may be at work after 'Crossbow Cannibal = Arabic Snob Clowns' provided a tenunous Al-Qaeda link.

Anthony Hopkins is 72.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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