Cheryl Cole Says She Loves Derek Hough Cause The Lad Tickles Her Fancy

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 31 May 2010

LONDON - A lot of Cheryl Cole's closest friends say that they have not seen Chezza happier than she's been the last few days. And they all attribute it to her American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough.

Hough flew into Heathrow Airport from Los Angeles the day after he and his Dancing With The Stars partner Nicole Scherzinger, lead singer with the Pussycat Dolls, captured the first prize mirror ball trophy.

Derek has said that Nicole is without a doubt one of the sexiest, most beautiful women he has ever danced with. He smiles that patented raised eyebrow look and says, "But my Chezza has got some body parts on her that can bring tears to the eyes of Hugh Hefner himself."

Derek told his sister Julianne that he was flying to London to see the woman who can put the schling schlong in the crotch of his britches (pants) quicker than any woman on the face of the Earth.

Cheryl picked him up at Heathrow and the two immediately drove over to Chezza's fellow Girls Aloud bandmate Sarah Harding's Ascot Berkshire mansion, Acappella Manor where the two have no doubt been playing several rounds of 'hide the salami.'

Cheryl was asked what it is about Mr. Hough that she likes. She smiled, took a sip of her diet water and replied, "Da blonde bloke is so much foon ta be wiff, and da dude duz tickle me fancy right nicely he does."

In a related story. Chezza mentioned to a reporter for the BBC that when she moves to America she will be living with Derek Hough in his Hollywood Hills mansion, Casa Cha Cha Cha.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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