Supreme Court Overturns "Whoever Smelt It Dealt It" Ruling
In a landmark ruling, the high court overturned the popular Whoever Smelt It Dealt It and has ruled in favor of the lesser popular Whoever Denied It Supplied It. Such a controversial ruling in an election year is almost unheard of and very unusual...
Read full storyTiger To Marry Again Right After Divorce Finalized
The latest from the Tiger is that he will be marrying good-times gal Rachel Uchitel right after his divorce is finalized. Then an explosion went off as Elin Nordegren, the present Mrs. Tiger Woods, stated that she would not put up with her small c...
Read full storyPharmaceutical Company Testing Drugs on Under-performing Employees
Times are tough. Things have gotten so bad that pharmaceutical giants, Large Pharma, can no longer afford to test new drugs on unsuspecting people from remote African villages. An unidentified CEO from one of the major pharmaceutical companies sa...
Read full storyAll omlettes banned in West Yorkshire jail following beating
A prison inmate has been removed from kitchen duties in HMP Wakefield after causing grievous bodily harm to the pot washer because of mishearing a culinary proverb in his youth. Remembering his mother say "You have to break a few legs to make ome...
Read full storyLady Gaga Added to Periodic Table of Elements
Chemist Richard Christie recently discovered the latest addition to the Periodic Table of Elements-GaGa or as his geek friends call it gaganesium. After his historic discovery, Christie promised himself and the world that he would honor the great...
Read full storyRon and Rand Paul Demand Drag Queen RuPaul Change His Name
Ron Paul and Rand Paul, the father/son Libertarians who are doing everything they can to take this county in a totally different direction, are having a hard time convincing people of their sincerity with performers like RuPaul still on the scene. Th...
Read full storyNew Delhi Sewer Takes Prize as World's Nastiest Odor
The smells wafting from a New Delhi sewer have buckled many a man's knees. The odor is so disgusting that neighbor's pray for the smell of hot garbage or at least a nasty cabbage fart. Due to the robust diet of the natives, the sewer systems give...
Read full storySiesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave
Siesmologists at the New Mexico State University Geology Department have determined that the late Sheriff Pat Garrett has turned over in his grave. The sheriff, most famous for shooting Billy the Kid, was killed himself outside of Las Cruces, New Me...
Read full storyRick Lazio Disappears
The tide appears to be turning in the NY GOP Governor primary. Rick Lazio is dropping off the media radar screen, and Carl Paladino is gaining in the polls. "Lazio's just not sexy," said columnist Fred Dicker, "Paladino is more entertaining, with...
Read full storyCarl Paladino Hires Jennifer Nelson
The Carl Paladino campaign team has added another political insider, Jennifer Nelson. Ms. Nelson recently left the office of Congressman Mike McMahon (D-Staten Island) amid a scandal involving anti-Semitism. In the incident at McMahon's office, Ne...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Plans To Go To Winehouse After Serving Time
Lindsay Lohan told reporters this morning that, after 14 hours she was off her hunger strike. She also mentioned that she had to go to rehab after her stay in jail and after that, she might join s friend for seclusion at Amy Winehouse's residence.
Read full storyPattinson Tells Tom Sturridge That Kristen Is HIS Plaything!
Apparently these two old friends are still clashing over the actress, Kristen Stewart, with Rob Pattinson saying that old ex-friend Sturridge should stay away from his plaything! "Plaything!" yelped Kristen Stewart when she heard the term. "I hope...
Read full storyDoes Sarah Palin have penis-envy? Why is she focussed on Obama's 'cojones'? Does Cameron have a bigger set than Obama?
ARI-ZOO-NA: Home of 'Crazy' John Mccain. - Sarah Palin can barely speak English so why is she trying to go bi-lingual? Perhaps she's trying to burnish her non-existent Prez credentials? But if you're going to be hypocritical in trying to promote...
Read full storyThe Solar Tsunami Headed Toward Earth: What NASA Isn't Saying
From Astronomy Daily: While NASA is trying to get our attention by telling us a Solar Tsunami is nothing to worry about and will only be responsible for bringing the Aurora Borealis further south for viewing, the very fact that the term tsunami is being used should tip us off that this is no ordinary magnetic field headed our way. We saw the effects of the tsunami that hit Indonesia and it was...
Read full storyCosta Del Bonk
According to a recent survey of 25,000 young men, nearly four in five single blokes aged 18-30 book foreign holidays purely to get their ends away! Seemingly, foreign sunshine leads to 99% of them craving outdoor sex or indeed, sex of any kind, 24/7.
Read full storyWHO: Study Reveals Vitamin water is Piss In A Bottle
If you are one of the millions who grabbed a vitamin water out of the convenience store cooler without reading the bottle, you probably assume that it was vitamin-fortified water. If you actually read the label though, you learn that the vitamin l...
Read full storyNew Idol show anounced
The producers of American Idol have began a new Idol series. "The Next American Idol Judge." Additions will begin in Hollywood California, at a soon to be announced date. Contestants will be judged on the following criteria. Ability to be rude...
Read full storyMel Gibson Thanks American Idol For Taking The Spotlight Off Of Him
TARZANA, California - Mel Gibson sat at an out of the way Jack-in-The-Box, in Tarzana seeking some much-needed relief from the constant horde of paparazzi that had been following him around lately. As he sat at a back table eating an Ultimate Chee...
Read full storyOlsen Twins Paid $1.33 Million Not to Pose for Playboy
Hugh Hefner, owner of the Playboy empire, has often used his considerable checkbook to ensure only the hottest women make it into his celebrated titty magazine. This time, however, Hefner has gone a different route, paying skankadelic twins Mary-K...
Read full storyKourtney Kardashian, aka K-Butt, Dumped By Her Boyfriend, Arkansas Lt. Gov. Clyde "Bubbaface" Gritflicker
LITTLE ROCK - The lieutenant governor of the state of Arkansas Clyde "Bubbaface" Gritflicker told his personal moonshine provider Tucker "Fumes" Pinkus, that he has dumped his Hollywood girlfriend Kourtney Kardashian of the famous fat-assed Kardashia...
Read full storyAngry Bristol man jailed for grabbing helicopter
A man has been sentenced to a year in prison for grabbing a helicopter as it took off in Bristol. Bristol Crown Court was told Houshang Jafari, 58, became "extremely angry" after the helicopter landed near his flat, causing debris to hit his car.
Read full storyCelebrity BBWs Dylan and Cole Sprouse are 18! ---Second in the series: "For Those About To Fap"
Middle-aged adult men who live in rooming houses and volunteer at the YWCA rejoice: Rubinesque beauties Dylan and Cole Sprouse turn 18 on August 4th. Dylan and Cole, stars of the multimillion-dollar "Nutri-System For Teens" ad campaign, were born...
Read full storyBreastfeeding should be 'the law', says supermodel
Brazillian supermodel Gisele Bundchen put a smile on the face of red blooded men everywhere when she said that breast feeding should be "the law". In an interview with Harper's Bazaar magazine, the world's highest paid supermodel said "I think bre...
Read full storyFap-Guilty No More: Selena Gomez is 18
Men who felt guilty for getting all tingly after watching her on "Wizards Of Waverly Place" or --yuck-- as Gianna on Barney and Friends should hide their heads in shame no longer: Selena Gomez is 18. "Oh, man," said 54 year-old Diego Farmworker,...
Read full storyMexican Drug Gangs Boycott Arizona Over Immigration Law
Phoenix, AR: Joining a rising tide of protest boycotts of the state, leaders from several prominent Mexican drug gangs announced their intention to avoid doing business in Arizona until the State Legislature reverses its controversial new immigratio...
Read full storyLady Gaga Only Sleeps with No-Name Hacks
Listen up all you losers, you have a chance of bedding one of the hottest pop singers to come along since Madonna. Lady Gaga is lonely and she needs action, but there are some criteria to be met before you get a whack at the mole. First and foremo...
Read full storyPakistan Flooding Claims First Victim Outside Pakistan
As the authorities in north-eastern Pakistan tried valiantly to reach flooded villages today, news of the very first victim outside the beleaguered country - more than 2000 miles away in Thailand. Moys Kenwood, a 'teacher' living in Bangkok told h...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Released From Prison and Vows To Never Again Rob Another Bank - Oops!
LOS ANGELES - Noah Westbunker, warden of The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women, opened the cell door to jail cell #69, and escorted prisoner #362436, aka Lindsay Lohan to the front iron gate and freedom. Warden Westbunker removed Lohan's handcuffs, a...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Hires Ann Coulter To Be Ryan Seacrest's Co-Host
HOLLYWOOD - In an effort to gain back some of the millions of viewers that American Idol has lost in just this past season alone, the show's executives have decided to add a co-host to the show. American Idol Producer Simon Shindlebocker, who came...
Read full storyWayne Rooney to appear on 'The Simpsons'
It is a sad fact that Wayne Rooney has never sported a physique that could be described as remotely 'atheletic'. However, notwithstanding the fiasco in South Africa, he has displayed at times, an extraordinary talent on the football field. However...
Read full storyUS Muslim Woman Defends Right To Bear Arms
A Muslim woman, from New York, has gone on record to defend her right to bear arms, citing the freedom originally set out in the Second Amendment To The Constitution Of The United States. However, it appears that the phrase may have been lost in t...
Read full storyRemains Of John The Baptist Found On Bulgarian Island
Human remains, said to be those of St John the Baptist, who baptised Jesus, have been discovered on St Ivan Island near Bulgaria's southern Black Sea. They were in a terrible state. The head was missing, and may have been kept as a trophy by Ki...
Read full storyDouble Disaster
The international world has been rocked by two disasters occuring at the same time. First the Queen sprained her ankle when kicking Charles as he explained he wasn't getting any younger. Then Prince Philip fell from his pony trap, whilst training...
Read full storyNo tacky 'hole-in-the-sheet' honeymoon for Chelsea and Marc!
Martyr's Vineyard, Massachusetts - (Niddah News): Honeymoon celebrations were in full swing today with the happy couple eschewing traditional kosher honeymoon rites about the bridle (sic) path to happiness. As a nod to her new in-laws' Jewish bac...
Read full storyNew "The Spoof" technology pleases porn searchers
The Spoof, the popular on-line satirical newspaper is trialling a unique method for rating the stories. Editor Mark Lowton has employed Page Three glamour model Honey Trapp to pose for stunning pictures in increasing stages of undress (pictured right...
Read full storyVan der Sloot Given 3 Months to Live after Contracting Malaria; Granted Humanitarian Release to Scotland!
In a shocking report just released today by the European Union Council of Ministers regarding the Human Rights and Health and Safety of Incarcerated Felons, Joran van der Sloot has been granted a humanitarian release by the Peruvian government when i...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com 1* Bandit: A Real Loser?
The phantom '1* bandit' sits in his squalid bedsit. There is no heating, mould grows unchecked on the walls and the only light emanates from an ageing computer on a decrepit, formica-topped kitchen table. Switching casually between his two favouri...
Read full storyQuaternary star system located
Astronomers applauded one another this week when the galaxy's first true quaternary star system was located. Plenty of binary star systems are known, the most famous being Alpha Centauri: our solar system's closest relative. In a binary system eit...
Read full story"Cojones? I got em," Says Palin
Sarah Palin shocked the US on Sunday in stating that President Obama, "didn't have Cojones." As she left the Fox News studio, she was asked by a reporter from CNN if she had "Cojones?" "Of course" she replied. "I have a set that you wouldn't believe...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Records Mysterious Death of Stranded Colonist; Post Mortem Concludes "Died of Boredom!"
Chamber of Commerce officials on the Isle of Wight are looking into the shocking demise of a Colonist stranded on the island after an Irish Low Budget Flight glided into the local airport when lack of fuel kept the plane from reaching Heathrow. Th...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Sea View Hotel gets a third star!
Madam Bagnio, 58, owner of Bawdy House Bed and Breakfast in Sea View is overjoyed today after the Isle of Wight Tourist Board awarded her hotel three stars this week. The extra star makes all the difference to Madam Bagnio, as it puts Bawdy House...
Read full storyObama home alone on 'karmic' 49th birthday!
Washington - (Numerology News): Five planets in an explosive astrology T-Square on the President's birthday and the First Lady's off slumming it where?? "He's a big boy now," the CIA's Head of Numerology commented today as Michelle and daughter Sa...
Read full storyLa Raza Labeled as Racist Blames Old Frail White People for Label
Los Angeles- The hispanic goup La Raza (The Race) defended its stand on Illegal immigration as it faced charges of racism. The national council of La Raza defended its call to remove all white people from the US. National council of La Raza presid...
Read full storyLionel Richie To Release Fantasy Concept Album
R+B legend Lionel Richie is to release a new album this summer, based on the fantasy stories of C.S Lewis. He has assembled a top rate backing band of 8 musicians, which he has called The Wardrobe. Aslan, the first 11 song release by Lionel Ric...
Read full storyBig Brother 11 update. 24 hours after arrival of Rose West
It's day 55 in the Big Brother House and almost 24 hours since the introduction of convicted serial killer Rosemary (Rose) West as the most recent 'housemate'. See report 'Convicted Serial Killer becomes latest housemate on Big Brother 11'. The Spoof.com has examined the rolling news from the last 24 hours and has pieced together the following, which might make Endemol question the sanity...
Read full storyLady eats lady! "Before" Model Eats "After" Model in Sickening Display during Diet Website Photo shoot.
A popular diet website was in the news recently for a story they would rather forget. A lady employed, by the diet websites agency, for modelling purposes was consumed by accident, by another model from a different agency, in what appears to have...
Read full storyMorpheus Finds Out Daughter is Doing Porn, Decides to Take The Blue Pill
Actor Laurence Fishburne, the talented actor who played Morpheus in the two fantasic Matrix movies (as well as the cinematographic sh-tstain called Matrix: Reloaded) has found out that his daughter Montana has completed a hardcorn porn movie, which w...
Read full storyLocal woman cooks too much dinner
An Enfield resident has been reported to have cooked too much dinner for herself. Allegedly, her boyfriend, who also shared the meal, claimed he was "fine " with the portion served. 'I was happy with the size of my dinner' said her boyfriend, a...
Read full storyAlex Higgins Funeral In Pictures
Belfast today said "goodbye" to one of its favourite sons, the brilliant former World Champion snooker player, Alex 'Hurricane' Higgins, who recently lost his battle with throat cancer and died at the age of 61. Oh, by the way, before I go any fur...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Unexploded bomb causes chaos
Newport town centre came to a standstill on Monday afternoon when an unexploded second world war bomb was located during a routine water main leak repair outside Age Concern's charity shop on St James Street. The water repair work had started on W...
Read full storyOld, old wooden ship was part of 18th century WTC terrorist plot, Al Qaeda claims.
An old, old wooden ship found buried near the World Trade Centre site in New York is on its way to Maryland to be treated and reassembled. Officials say the old, old wooden ship, reportedly named 'Diversity' was used by al qaeda, along with a seco...
Read full storyJan Brewer Tells Sarah Palin "Thanks, Honey, But in Arizona, We Call them Balls"
In an attempt to get the back of a fellow female Governor, Arizona's Jan Brewer, Sara Palin stated on Fox News that President Obama doesn't have the cojones to secure the nation's borders and fix immigration. She went on to say that Jan Brewer does,...
Read full storyVanilla Ice's Cadillac Attempts To Kill Rapper, Self. REVISED: Now with less spellung errers.
At what is now a crime scene in a location north of Palm Beach, washed-up attention whore Vanilla Ice was nearly killed by a 40 year-old car during a botched publicity stunt. Vanilla Ice bought the rusty 1967 Cadillac --the only car he could affo...
Read full storyTijuana's Notorious Piñata De Queso Drug Cartel Has Put Out A $1 Million Bounty On Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio
MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - One of America's most famous sheriffs, Joe "Pinky" Arpaio sat in his sheriff's office reading the latest issue of The Rolling Stone magazine. He was asked what he thought about the fact that one of Mexico's most infamous...
Read full storyAlex Higgins Funeral Latest
The solemn funeral of former World Champion snooker player Alex Higgins has taken place in his home city of Belfast, with thousands of mourners gathering to say a last "goodbye" to the star. Past and present stars of the game, including Stephen H...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Says That The Only Reason American Idol Did Not Fire Randy Jackson Is Because of The Fact That He's Black
NEW YORK CITY - Talk Show Host Rush Limbaugh stated that he found it interesting that one of the highest rated and most successful reality shows American Idol fired two of its judges Ellen "The Lesbian" DeGeneres and Kara "The Raging Hormones" DioGua...
Read full storyGrowing Up Skipper: The Doll That Grows Breasts
A multi-national toy manufacturer who most recently came under media scrutiny for selling lead-covered baby toys, will again try to fill its coffers with a controversial toy when they release Growing Up Skipper. 1975's original Growing Up Skipper...
Read full storyFamily of Man Who Mounts Kentucky Alligators Could Win Big from Increased Web Traffic
Howdy, folks! My name is Cherry Cockburne, and today I'm going to discuss three ways you can use proper keyword selection to achieve Search Engine Optimization, or SEO. As many of you may remember from our last session, SEO is a way to improve the visibility of your web site or web page by increasing the odds that it will appear among search engine results. This gives your site more exposure, o...
Read full storyMichelle "The First Mama" Obama Announces A Fantastic Surprise Birthday Party For Her Hubby aka President Obama
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Michelle Obama revealed to her noted hairdresser FuFi Fondue, that she is planning on throwing her husband the biggest White House Birthday party since the one that Julia Grant, wife of President Ulysses S. Grant, threw for her Civ...
Read full storyYellow Lobster Caught, Why Is It Yellow?
A fisherman off the coast of Rhode Island was shocked last week when he caught a YELLOW lobster. Wha' happened? Theories abound: The color was caused by a bad case of hepatitis; the lobster lacks courage and has now officially been labeled a cow...
Read full storyDisney Princesses Expand to 18 Members; Will Appear on 95% Of Toys 'R Us Inventory, Up From 82%.
There are two greats truths regarding toy merchandise. First, any plastic Chinese-imported piece of sh-t toy is worth 25% more if a Disney Princess appears on it. Second, a five year old girl who is told that she may not have some shiny pink Princess...
Read full storyMexico Cancels All of Arizona's Piñata Orders
MEXICO CITY - The president of Mexico, El Presidente Nacho Winslow has stated on CNN Mexico that he has issued a presidential mandate, (El PM Numero 3209) which states in English as well as in Spanish that effective immediately all piñata orders comi...
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Considering Deporting The Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi aka "Snooki"
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama took time from his conference dealing with the itemized bill that the United States will be sending to BP for the hellacious mess that their well made in the Gulf of Mexico to answer a question regarding the TV real...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan 'Nearly Blind'
US actress, Lindsay Lohan, released from jail yesterday after serving more than two weeks out of the rays of the sun, is nearly blind according to medical staff who were present just prior to her release. Lohan, 24, staggered out of the Century Re...
Read full storySean Hannity Says That He Is Not Afraid Of The South of The Border Drug Cartels
JONESBORO, Arkansas - Sean Hannity was in Jonesboro visiting the city that is known as The Cornbread Capital of The World. As he toured The Ma and Pa Kettle Cornbread Factory, he was asked about the alleged threats that one of Mexico's top drug ca...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Released At Last!
It might seem to some that poor Lindsay Lohan has been in prison forever - and a day! - but yesterday, the US actress was finally released from jail after serving more than two weeks of a 90-day sentence. Lohan, 24, had entered the all-female Los...
Read full storyAirline Says Travel Light or Pay More for the Flight
A somewhat major airline made changes to its carry-on policy that will soon take effect. They will charge up to $45 for all carry-on luggage, i.e. $30 at check in or $45 at the gate. Either way, if you are gonna stick it in the overhead compartment,...
Read full storyYou Can't Polish a Turd
You can't polish a turd! This is an old saying with which prospective government employees should become familiar. Do not misunderstand me; the public service is a fine occupation for the young person wondering what to do with their lives, or how best they may be able to serve their fellow human beings. However, some things, like turds, are simply not capable of being made to look or smell any...
Read full storySpoofZombies Attack Newspaper Office
Late last night several odd characters attacked the news office of the Ashland Daily Tidings in Ashland, Oregon, as staff was working on a late breaking only-important-to-locals story. The attackers burst in through the front door and stomped toward...
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