If you are one of the millions who grabbed a vitamin water out of the convenience store cooler without reading the bottle, you probably assume that it was vitamin-fortified water.
If you actually read the label though, you learn that the vitamin levels are pretty low, and diabetics' best friend high fructose corn syrup took second billing on the ingredients list.
Now, the World Health Organization study has concluded that vitamin water has just three ingredients; Sugar, urine, and a dissolved Flintstones Chewable.
"It is definitely urine," said WHO researcher Anna Rexic. "It is the same piss used to make certain shampoos and Miller High Life. vitamin water should not be marketed as health-food."
"It's f--king Sweet-Tarts diluted with sewer water," said Energy Products CEO Russ Smyth. "And you lemmings bought it! C'mon, our 'Focus' flavor says it has the ability to reduce the risk of age-related eye disease. HA! There are 33 grams of sugar in each bottle of vitamin water, you a--holes."
"And none of you ever asked yourselves, 'what the hell flavor is Focus?' "
Smyth continued: "Jesus Christ, you f--king idiots! You're looking for a healthy drink manufactured by a company that sold pancake syrup flavored soda. We could market a bag of dicks to you people, call them organic, and in two weeks the whole world would be snacking on Vitamin Cocks."